Holdin' On
by blueeyedlamb
Summary: Bella has secretly been in love with Edward for years. She finally works up the courage to tell him the truth when complications arise...and then he disappears. What happens when Fate unexpectedly throws her face-to-face with her past? AH, OOC.
1. The News

**A/N: Here is my next story, it will by my first planned multi-chapter story. I hope you all enjoy it! I have never been to Seattle, so bear with me. I want to be as accurate as possible about a city that I love from afar. One day I will get there. **

**This story is rated "M" for future lemons and language. You have been warned. **

**Inspiration: "Once" by Rascal Flatts**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by S. Meyer, that lucky woman. I own nothing, just like having fun with our favorite gang. However, Rob does own me. **

-oo-

Ch. 1

Five years. Five long years since I had stepped foot inside the town limits of Forks, Washington. My hometown. The scene of some of the best moments of my life and ultimately, some of the worst.

And now that was all going to be shot to hell because Emmett and Rosalie just _had_ to get married there. Since they have both been some of my closest friends since I was five, I saw no way of getting out of being there.

I could feel the tension bubbling up into my chest, the kind where you had to labor your breathing nice and slow to keep from feeling light headed. This is why I decided to go on a run, in the middle of December, in Seattle. Call me stupid, but I needed that chilly air to penetrate through this thick fog of dread.

So with that in mind, I threw on thick, fleece jogging pants and a matching fleece hoodie. I knew that the ground outside had started icing over once the sun set, but that wasn't going to stop me. With iPod in hand, I set off on my familiar route.

I am not much of a runner. Not much of an athletic person; especially since I have been known for my clumsiness. But whether it is outside or on a treadmill, running had become my form of relieving the stress over the last five years.

-oo-

As I rounded a corner near my favorite coffee shop, I replayed the events that went down at dinner earlier that evening.

_Rosalie had called me up the day before asking if I would join her and Emmett at Il Bistro, which was our favorite Italian restaurant in Seattle, for an early dinner the following day. I quickly agreed and told them I would meet them there._

_I showed up about fifteen minutes late because a meeting for work had run over time. I wanted to run home and switch out of the black pencil skirt and white button down blouse I had adorned for work; but that was not an option, so it just had to be good enough for dinner. _

_I noticed that Alice and Jasper were already seated, leaving one open for just me. After a quick greeting to them all and an apology for being late, I was handed a glass filled with Angelo Gaja wine. ._

"_Um, you ordered one of the priciest wines on the menu?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at Emmett and Rose. _

"_Yes we did, which is also a great lead in to why we called you guys here" Rosalie answered, "we have an announcement that we wanted to share with you."_

"_Ready for it?... I asked Rose to marry me!" Emmett bellowed, looking like he had won the lottery twenty times over._

"_That's great man! Congratulations to you both. About damn time too" Jasper said, slapping Emmett on the back. _

_Suddenly a squeal erupted to the left of me and we all whipped around to stare at the vibrating pixie named Alice. I could have sworn I felt heat radiating off of her because she looked like she was about to overheat. _

"_Oh my goodness. You know what this means right? Have you set a date? What season? Do you know your color palette? We need to go shopping for dresses! I am in the wedding party right-"_

"_ALICE! Shut up for a minute. Jesus. One question at a time. I just got the ring on my finger two days ago, I haven't had any time to think much passed that" Rosalie said in her commanding tone, about the only thing that could get Alice to shut her mouth. _

"_The only thing we know is where we will be having the wedding" Emmett spoke up slowly, looking at me the whole time._

_I gave him a weird look and took the bait, "And where might that be?"_

"_Forks of course. I mean, we all have roots there. That is where our families are, where we all started off. It just seems like the best location to cement the moment" Rosalie answered._

"_Forks? B-but…" I said, stuttering. I quickly felt the need to find something to occupy my hands. The full wine glass was closest to me and I quickly snatched it up and drained it. _

"_C'mon Bells. It's been five years since…well everything happened. You haven't been back, it's about time, isn't it?" Emmett spoke softly._

"_Em, you know how hard this is for me. Okay, so say I actually step foot back into that town, does that mean everyone is invited?" I asked, knowing I only wanted to hear about one person._

"_Of course that means everyone is invited. Even though you refuse to hear anything about him, we all have kept in contact with Ed-" I grimaced a little at his name "him, and he is still a part of this group Bella. So of course he will be invited" Rosalie stated._

"_I…I just need to think about it guys. I am happy for you, I really am. And of course I want to be there, but you have to understand how hard it is to think about that place. The last time I was there…" I trailed off lamely. _

_The topic was quickly changed after that. Emmett picking up the role of life of the party and Alice quickly delving into the fine details about the upcoming wedding. I made my way through two more full glasses of wine before thanking the newly engaged couple for a lovely dinner and sulking out to my car._

I quickly snapped back to the present, feeling a freezing tear slide down my face. I quickly wiped it away and tried not to think about the one reason I was hesitant about all of this.

Instead I focused on Rosalie and Emmett. They had been together since ninth grade. Rosalie had always had a slight crush on Emmett since they were ten years old. Of course, the summer before their freshmen year, Rose's parents had whisked her off to the south of France for the summer and when she returned, well she didn't look like the same flat-chested girl that Emmett remembered. A slight mishap of him making an obscene comment to her and Rose slapping him across the back of the head and they had been together ever since. A match made in some off-the-wall heaven that only Emmett and Rosalie can fit into.

I had most of the usual two mile route that I frequented done. Maybe about half a mile to go to get back to my town-house. The temperature had dropped a good ten degrees in the half hour I had been out and I quickly cursed my decision to venture into it.

Coming to a mostly deserted intersection, I looked both ways before jogging across the road. I was halfway across when I suddenly found myself airborne over a very slick piece of ice that I had failed to notice.

Before I had time to register what happened, I slammed onto my back, hard. I had somehow got my arm caught under me and I could feel a hard snap that could only mean one thing, the breaking of bones. I cried out and tried to curl into a fetal position, but the pain was severe. The problem was, it wasn't coming from just my arm.

I felt a growing warmth rush from my head that could only mean blood and my vision blurred. Before I completely lost counciousness, I heard sirens in the distance.

Funny, I didn't notice I had gathered a small crowed. That was the last thing I registered before I blacked out.


	2. Love Who You Love Pt 1

**A/N: I had to split the next two chapters in half. It turned out to be the longest chapter I have ever written at around 16 pages. I felt it was a bit of an eye sore for posting it all at once. **

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns it all. **

-oo-

Ch. 2

**Five years earlier…**

_November 2004_

"Bella"

I groaned, further burying my head into my warm pillow.

"Bella, wake up. Alice is on the phone." I registered the voice as Charlie.

I gave a few short moans before rolling over and facing him. I blinked a few times and noted that the clock read 8:15 p.m. I quickly did the math in my head and guessed that I had been asleep for over three hours.

I quickly stuck out my hand from under the covers for the phone. Once Charlie handed it over, he quickly exited the room.

I held the receiver to my head, but I made some sort of grunting noise in a form of a greeting.

"Bella! How are you feeling? You missed so much at school today…" Alice's high pitched voice poured out of the receiver.

"Exciting day huh? What could have possibly happened at Forks High? Jessica Stanley finally fall over her big hair? And I am feeling okay, just a bit of a headache after that nap" I responded.

"Well, several things happened. I don't know how much to tell you over the phone though" she said in a quiet voice; something very unlike Alice.

"What happened? You can come over if you want."

"I can? Good, cause I am already here!"

I heard a car pull up outside of my house. I peeked through the curtain and noted Alice's yellow Porsche parked behind the Chevy. I don't know how many times I have told her that her car did not fit in with this town. Of course that was an invalid argument, especially since Alice, herself, did not fit in with the town either.

"Why didn't you just knock or wait until you got here? You know you don't have to call first" I questioned.

"I will be up in a minute. Bye!" I heard a click on the other end and I quickly turned off the cordless. I made my way downstairs, slowly. My body still felt like it weighed a heavy amount.

By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, Alice had entered the hallway talking to Charlie.

Once he left to go on to the living room she took in my appearance, "Bella, you look like crap. Couldn't you have put on one of those sweat-suit sets that I bought you for your birthday?"

"Oh! Excuse me! I could barely keep myself upright for five minutes. The last thing I was thinking about was what I looked like" I said defensively, putting my hands on my hips.

"Let's go upstairs. I need to talk to you" Alice whispered, pulling on my hand as she made her way upstairs.

Once we settled into my un-made bed, Alice just stared at me.

"What is it Alice?"

"I have good and bad news for you."

"Okay…"

"First the good news. I found out that Jazz has feelings for me!" she squealed excitedly, "We had to write poems for the creative writing class we are taking together. Well he gets up in front of the class and totally blows us away. You know how he is, quiet but soulful. Anyways, once he sits back down, he places a copy of the poem in front of me and there is a note written on top of the page. I look down and it says 'In honor of you.' How romantic is that Bella?"

I just sat there for a second, trying to take in the whole thing. Once the words caught up to with my brain, my face broke out into a huge smile. I leaned across the pillow that was in my lap and wrapped her in a big hug.

"I am so happy for you Ali. I know that you have been going back and forth with telling him for a year. How many times have I told you that he reciprocated the feelings? He doesn't have to say them aloud for his emotions to be visible."

"I know. But I had to hear him say it, ya know?" she said.

"I get it. What is going to happen with you two now?"

"I am not sure yet. I would like to take it to the next level. He said that he was going to call me tonight. He wasn't going to be home until after 9:30 though, so I have some time before he calls."

"Okay, now with the other news…" I pushed.

"Oh Bella. I don't know how to tell you" Alice whispered, her eyes going wide.

"It can't be that bad. Is Edward okay? Emmett didn't sit on him again, did he?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

"No. Em didn't do anything _this_ time. But it is about Edward."

"What about Edward?" I asked, unsure on if I wanted to hear bad news about him.

"Well…um…h-he asked Tanya out at lunch. To be exclusive. You know how they went out on a few dates" she grimaced as the words flew out of her mouth.

My mouth must have been hanging open. I felt my eyes slightly water from the damn tears that I didn't want to make an appearance right now. A dull ache started in my chest at the same time. I unconsciously rubbed the spot over my sweatshirt, still staring at nothing.

"Bella? You can't blame him though. He doesn't know how you feel. I told you to tell him, now he went off and asked _her_" Alice stated with a look of disgust on her face.

"Edward and Tanya? No! What does he see in her? Besides that she is beautiful and obviously his perfect match. She doesn't have any brains and she is a complete bitch!"

"Bella, it will be okay. It can't possibly last that long…" Alice said, placing a soothingly hand on my knee.

"Alice. Thanks for telling me. I think I want to be alone right now" I said quietly.

She looked at me for a moment before silently nodding. She gave me a quick hug and then exited my room, closing the door behind her. I was still facing the window, not really seeing my surroundings.

The tears really began to fall then.

I had been in love with Edward Cullen for almost four years; possibly even longer. We had been best friends since pre-school; he rescued me from the treacherous sandbox. I had been trying to work up the courage to tell him since freshman year, but whenever the time came, something always got in the way.

Now Tanya was in the way. She had transferred from some school in L.A. at the beginning of the school year. She really was quite beautiful, only second to Rosalie. But since Rose had graduated the year prior, Tanya quickly climbed the social ladder. She somehow became the head cheerleader.

Edward had officially become the quarterback once Emmett stepped down from his throne last year. I could always be found at the Spartan games. Edward's jersey number and name printed on my shirt. Alice and I had started our own little cheering section for our favorite player. Jasper would always quietly sit and shake his head at our goofiness, but Alice and I both knew he wasn't serious.

About a month ago, Edward showed up at the Homecoming dance with Tanya on his arm. Nobody, not even his five best friends, knew about it.

_How perfect. The head cheerleader and the quarterback, all was right in the world, _I thought bitterly to myself.

I sat like that, with those thoughts, for a few hours before I felt exhausted. I threw the covers over the head and prayed that tomorrow would be never come, because I knew my heart would break all over again once I had to see _them_ together.

-oo-

_March 2005_

Four months. For a relationship that was only supposed to last a few weeks, the one between Edward and Tanya sure seemed to be working.

He was careful with her around me, almost like he knew that the sight of them together disgusted me. Whether he knew or not, I was a little grateful.

Another factor that made me feel a little better was the fact that none of my other friends liked her either. Tanya was pushy and a control freak. How Edward could stand her was beyond all over our comprehension.

Jasper couldn't believe her level of vanity…and he was related to Rosalie. That is saying a lot.

Emmett, my lovable bear…who usually got along with everyone. She attempted to stop a gaming marathon one day and Em had never forgiven her.

Rosalie didn't like her for obvious reasons…vanity really was the legitimate issue.

Alice tried to warm up to her, mostly because of Edward being her brother. Tanya had criticized Alice's allegiances, asking how she could be friends with someone like me. Poor Alice came over to my house crying, and I attempted to calm her down.

Obviously Tanya held no warm feelings for me, and the feelings were reciprocated. I did not attempt to hide my disdain in front of Edward. He grew frustrated with all six of us constantly bickering.

After the incident with Alice, he slowly began to withdraw himself from group activities. He was constantly fighting with Emmett and Jasper now. They were almost like brothers, and that was a hard one to see.

The last straw came on the last day before Spring Break when Edward stormed up to us, his face too red for his pale skin.

"Which one of you girls placed that shit in her shampoo?" he rounded on Alice and I.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice her hair is now a nice green color. I know one of you was behind it."

"No Edward, I did not notice. I attempt to ignore that she even exists. How dare you accuse us, _your_ family for most of your life. I am sick and tired of you defending her to us. What happened to you?" I spit out.

He looked taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered, "Me? What happened to me? What happened to you Bella? And not just you, all of you!"

Jasper slowly made his way in-between Edward and me, attempting to diffuse the situation.

"I can't do this anymore. You all need to accept that Tanya is staying in the picture. She means a lot to me and today was the last straw. Just stay out of my way from now on" he said before turning back towards the school and Tanya.

"We had nothing to do with what happened to her Edward. I promise you. Who are you going to believe? Her or me?" I asked quietly, a bit of pleading in my voice.

Edward stopped in mid-step. His shoulders tensed up before he half turned back to me. We looked at each other for a full moment before he responded, "I am sorry Bella. But I am taking her side this time."

As he made his exit, Jasper wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me to his car. We were halfway to my house before I realized that we had moved.

"What does this mean now?" I asked.

"It means that he needs his space. We need to back off of the Tanya-bashing. I am not going to lose my friendship with him for a high school romance" Jasper answered.

"I can't back off. I will not sit around and pretend that I can stand her. Edward must be blind, what he sees in her is beyond me" I scoffed.

Nobody said anything after that. I played with the dial of the radio before giving up and turning it off. We finally arrived in the front of my house. I quickly said my goodbyes and made my way into my house.

After the events of the last hour, I felt exhausted. Before I even comprehended anything, my head hit the pillow, letting me fall into an instant sleep.

A few hours later I woke up to a clear night with the stars on full display. A rare time in Forks.

I moved my hand to brush the curtain aside when I felt a piece of paper under my shifting leg. I picked up the folded up paper and read the two words in the elegant script that I knew belonged to the most important boy in my life.

_I'm sorry._

I let out a drawn out sigh and thought about what he could have possibly meant by the words. He must have climbed through the window like he had done almost every night the last summer.

-oo-

_Early May 2005_

After I had found the note that Edward must have left while I took my nap, we reached some type of truce. He still did not talk to me as much as he used to, but we were civil to each other.

School was quickly winding down, which meant graduation was right around the corner. Only a little over a month to go.

Rosalie and Emmett were already attending University of Washington in Seattle and Jasper, Alice and I had decided to follow them up there. UW had a really good English program and I felt justified in accepting the admission. The six of us had planned to try and go to the same school together, but that all changed with Tanya.

Edward had gotten the acceptance for admission to UW easily. He had some of the best grades in our class. To appease his dad, he also applied to a few other schools that had good pre-med programs.

Instead of accepting UW, he took us all by surprise and decided on Dartmouth. We all knew that Tanya was behind it. Like I said, it had always been the plan that all of us would attend school together. Since Tanya didn't like any of us, she pulled out all the stops to separate us.

-oo-

I had just made it home when I noticed Edward pulled in directly behind me. I hopped out of the truck and eyed him as he got out of the car, alone.

_Wow, he managed to escape the grasp of T-pain, _I thought to myself.

I had taken to calling her that when he wasn't around. She was a pain…in my ass.

I raised an eyebrow at the unexpected visit. Edward noticed and just gave a slight shrug in response.

I made my way up to the porch, motioning for him to follow. We didn't say anything as we made our way into the living room. He sat down on one side of the couch while I took the other.

The silence was a bit unsettling, but I couldn't bring myself to break it.

"I miss you Bells" he said suddenly.

"I miss you too" I responded.

He turned towards me then and looked me over.

"You're too skinny. Eat more" he stated.

"I am not! Your just not around much to notice anything anymore" I snapped.

"Don't do it right now. I didn't come here to fight" he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb.

"Then why are you here? I bet _she _doesn't know you're here, huh?" I sneered.

"I just...ugh…I wanted to say congratulations on making it into UW. I am really proud of you."

"Thanks. I was happy when I got the letter. It would be even better if you would be coming with us, you know?" I replied, more softly this time.

"Dartmouth is better for me" he replied automatically.

I gave him a weird look.

"That sounded a bit forced to me. Are you sure that is what's best?" I inquired.

"Yes. They have a wonderful pre-med program. I know I promised I would attend school with all of you, but this is for the best" he said, finally looking at me again.

We sat there in an awkward silence for a few more minutes before Edward abruptly got up.

"I should go. Tanya is probably waiting for me. I am late already" he said, walking towards the door.

"Um, okay. Thanks for stopping by" I answered as the door closed behind him.

_Something is going on. She has some how brainwashed him,_ I thought to myself.

-oo-

**A/N: Okay…so did you like it? Hate it? Let me know…I don't know if it is completely boring or not. Reviews get a teaser for next chapter. I think I may start doing that. :-)**


	3. Love Who You Love Pt 2

**A/N: Here is the second half of the flashbacks…and then we can get to the good stuff. **

**Inspiration: "Love Who You Love" by Rascal Flatts**

-oo-

_Late May 2005_

"Okay mom, I will be arriving at 3 p.m. your time. Please don't confuse that with my time," I reminded Renee through the phone.

"I know baby. I think I can handle picking my own daughter up at the airport on time!" she chided.

"I will see you this weekend. I have to get to school. Love you."

I quickly hung up with my mom and flung my phone into my backpack. I hurried out to the car for my last full week of senior year, since next week was graduation.

Renee and Charlie surprised me with a weekend trip to Jacksonville to visit my mom before I graduated. She couldn't be there for the big day due to Phil's baseball schedule, so this was as good as it would get for us.

I made my way to school in the old Chevy. As much as I loved this old classic, I fully planned to replace it with something a bit newer before I moved to Seattle in August.

Finally arriving at school, I noticed that I was a bit later then usual. I parked between Emmett's jeep and Jasper's mustang.

The gang had gathered on the sidewalk in front of Em's jeep, even Edward and Tanya. I quickly ignored the bane of my existence and gave Edward a small smile. He returned it without fully looking at me. I frowned slightly and quickly turned my full back on them.

"Guess what guys? I just found out I get to go see Renee this weekend. It's a grad gift from her and Charlie."

"That is awesome Bells. I know you were bummed when you found out she wasn't coming," Emmett said, pulling me under his massive arm.

"Yeah. So I am leaving Friday morning and coming back late Monday afternoon. I don't have finals that day, so they felt it was okay to miss school. A short trip, but better then nothing."

After that, the bell rang for school to start. We all made our way onto the campus in a tight group. I noticed how I was the odd man out and this saddened me a little bit.

I bid the others goodbye at my Spanish class. I spent the rest of the day trying to decide how to bring up my feelings to Edward. I needed to get it off my chest before I left for Florida. For some reason, I just had this horrible feeling that if I didn't tell him before I left then I would regret it.

I made my way home like any other day. I cooked dinner for Charlie, sitting in relative silence because neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter.

After dinner was over, I made my way up to my room and grabbed my cell phone. I looked at the screen for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to call him. It was already 8, so I figured it was now or never and quickly dialed the numbers I had memorized.

The phone rang several times before there was a muffled, "_Hold on_" that sounded like Edward. Another sound of a door closing behind him also followed.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Edward. It's Bella…"

"_Oh hey. What's up?" _

"Um. I kind of need to talk to you. Is there any way you can come over tonight?"

"_Probably not Bells. Tanya and I are having a pretty serious discussion right now and I can't put it off. Do you think we can do this tomorrow?"_

"Whatever Edward. It is not like my news isn't important either," I replied with the ever present sneer.

I heard a sigh come from the other side, _"I'm sorry Bells. But I just can't leave right now. Tomorrow, I promise."_

"Sure Edward. I will believe it when I see it." I quickly hung up on him without a goodbye. Yes it was a childish move, but I was sick and tired of coming in second. He had never hesitated to come to me when I needed him, and for the past six months, I had barely been a blimp on his radar.

I turned off my phone, made my way to the bathroom for my nightly ritual, and then slipped between the cool sheets of my bed before it was even 9 p.m. _Pathetic_, I thought to myself.

I laid there for a little while before I felt my eyelids droop. The last thing I registered before I lost consciousness was the muffled sounds of the television below me.

-oo-

My eyes squinted against the uncomfortable light being shined into them. I scrunched up my face before slowly cracking open my left eye. I noticed that the window was now open, a slight breeze blowing the curtain. Also, a small flashlight was being shoved into my face, preventing me from seeing who was holding it.

"What's going on?" I asked groggily. I turned from the light to my bedside clock; 2:30 a.m. I groaned at the time.

"It's just me," came the velvety voice that sent my heart into immediate overdrive.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to hear what you need to tell me."

"At two in the morning Edward? God."

"Sorry…this was the first chance I got. I didn't mean for you to get mad at me earlier, I'm sorry." He sat down on the edge of the bed. I sat up and scooted closer to him.

We sat there for a few minutes in silence. My heart was hammering in my chest. I looked out the open window and noticed yet another clear night. The moon shined brightly into my room, illuminating it with natural light.

I took stock of Edward's appearance. His hair was the same disarray of bronze hair; it looked like he had run his hand through it half a dozen times. He had on a black button-down shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. The ends of the shirt were slightly wrinkled, almost as if he had been up and down from the sitting position for hours. I finally looked up at his face; he just looked tired. A boy with too many things on his shoulders.

Without thinking, I leaned over and engulfed him in a hug. He hesitated at first but then gave in to the sensation. We held each other for a few more moments before I forced myself to pull away.

"What did you need to talk to me about Bells?"

I looked down at my hands, which took up wringing the comforter between them. How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I was completely in love with him? That his girlfriend was all wrong for him?

"Um, I need to tell you how I have been feeling for awhile…" I trailed off.

He just looked at me with his brows furrowed.

I sighed, "You see…um…I haven't been completely honest with you on my feelings."

"Okay, then what has been going through the lovely head of yours?" he asked.

Biting the bullet, I just let it out. "Edward, for the past four years, or maybe even longer, I have had feelings for you. As more then a friend. And I am not talking just some crush. I am _in _love with you," I took in a deep breath, "I know that you are going out with Tanya. But I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I was going to tell you around the time you asked her out, but I was too afraid that it would change our friendship."

Edward just stared at me. Not one eye blink, not one twitch of a muscle. Frozen.

I decided to continue, "I don't think Tanya is right for you. You are too good for her. I am not saying that I am good enough for you, but I think we could have something. I miss you so much. You are my best friend. I have been so lonely…" I finished right as tears began to slowly fall down my cheeks. I looked down at the comforter, too afraid to see his reaction.

I felt a jolt of the bed and a warm hand against my cheek. I looked up to find Edward inches from my face. He wiped the tears from beneath my eyes and just stared at me.

I felt a growing electrical charge between the two of us. Without meaning to, I slowly began to lean forward. As if he couldn't control it too, he began to mimic my movements. My eyes automatically shut as I felt his warm breath splay across my face. When he was just centimeters from closing the distance, a shrill ringing broke us apart.

I looked around in a daze, trying to find the source of the noise. Edward quickly hopped off my bed and dug into his jean pocket. He produced his phone in his hand and quickly turned off the ringer. He looked at the caller ID and then back up at me. I noticed a look of pain crossed his face.

"I'm sorry Bella. I am so sorry. I can't do this right now."

With that, he quickly made his way to my window and out into the large tree. I just sat there in stunned silence at what almost happened. I knew who was calling him. The one person that kept him from me. I had just laid my heart out on the line to him and he just took off.

I suddenly felt too exhausted to even fathom what fully happened and quickly fell back asleep.

-oo-

The next morning I made my way to school in a slightly better mood. I decided to give him the space to stew it over. I knew it had been a lot to take in, especially from someone who you were so close with.

The rest of the week was uneventful. Sometimes I would catch Edward looking at me through a side-glance. When he noticed me watching him, he quickly went back to whatever he was doing beforehand.

I had confided in Alice what I had told him. She reaffirmed my own beliefs in giving him some room. She suggested that I come see him when I got back into town the next week.

I bid my friends a goodbye at the end of Thursday's classes and made my way home. I made sure I packed everything I would need for the warmer climates of Florida. I decided to leave all my problems behind and deal with them when I got back.

-oo-

_Early June 2005_

I was jostled awake by the flight attendant, telling me we had arrived in Port Angeles. I made my way off the plane and found Charlie waiting for me at the baggage claim. After a quick hello and grabbing my bag, we were on the road back to Forks.

When we got back to the house, I threw my clothes into the washer. After dinner I told Charlie I was going to head over to Edward and Alice's house for a bit.

I turned my phone on and sent Alice a quick message.

_Hey Ali. I am back in town. Going to stop by your place for awhile. I wanna see how Ed's doing._

I finally came up the drive to the Cullen mansion. I parked in my usual spot next to a huge, shaded tree. I made my way up to the door and was about to ring the doorbell when it was thrown open. I caught my breath in surprise. There stood Alice with a complete look of horror on her face.

"Alice! What's wrong?" I suddenly launched myself in the door, taking her with me.

"Bella, oh Bella. I can't _believe_ he did this. He…just…uh!" she rambled while pulling me into the kitchen.

"What? Did Jasper do something?" I was becoming slightly alarmed.

"No, not Jasper. Edward! He…he left Bella."

"What do you mean he left?"

"He went behind my parents back and got signed off to have his diploma mailed to him. He is skipping graduation. On Saturday morning, I went to his room to find it empty. There was a note that apologized for everything and that he would be in touch. I went to his closet and half of his clothes were gone…"

I just stood there.

"…then Saturday night, we finally got a call from him. He and Tanya ran off together."

"Ran off? Why would he leave with her days before graduation?" I started yelling.

"They went to Vegas. I guess they got married Saturday afternoon. He was calling to let us know that they were going on to New Hampshire to find an apartment."

At this point I felt like a wrecking ball had been repeatedly slammed into me. I slide down to the hardwood floor and put my head between my legs. I knew Alice was still talking, but I couldn't make out any words.

Edward is gone? Edward is married? How could he do this to me, after all I had confessed to him.

I didn't realize I had been sobbing when I felt two strong arms lift me off the ground. I barely made out Emmett's face before I released a new round of tears. The next thing I knew I was in the guest bedroom I usually occupied when I stayed over and Carlisle was administering a sedative.

I woke up hours later with a warm body snuggled up to my back. I looked over my shoulder to see Alice asleep next to me. My eyes felt swollen and my mouth was dry. I took advantage of the glass of water next to my head. I quickly fell into a deep sleep once again.

I dreamed of Edward telling me he hated me. That Tanya was the only one for him. I awoke to screaming, only to realize it was mine.

Carlisle and Alice were there to calm me down. The good doctor gave me another round of sedative to lull me back into sleep.

Before I fell back into the darkness I mumbled, "How could he do this…"

-oo-

_October 2005_

I hated college. I hated that I couldn't enjoy my friends company anymore. For the past four months I was a shell of my former self.

The summer had been pure hell. Everywhere I looked, something reminded me of _him_. I couldn't even say or think his name. It felt like a curse that would be spiraling out of control.

My friends, bless them, tried to help. They finally realized I was a lost cause and just took turns sitting with me while I lay motionless for hours. I knew they kept in touch with him, but the first time they tried to talk to me about them, I went ballistic. Ever since then, they kept it amongst themselves.

They eventually got me to Seattle. I shared a dorm room with Alice, which made things slightly easier.

Tonight the four of them were heading out to a local party being thrown by Emmett's fraternity. Alice waltzed back into the room with a couple bags on her arm. She must have been shopping again.

I was laying on my stomach, my eyes watching her every movement.

Suddenly she stopped and turned towards me.

"Bella. Get your ass out of that bed. You are going with us tonight. I am not taking no for an answer," she walked over and yanked my blanket off of me.

"I am not going anywhere."

"Yes. You. Are. I have an outfit for you. I am sick and tired of you wallowing. It has been four months Bella. You are not doing anything for yourself by laying here and wasting away. We are in college, it is time for you to live it up some."

I just glared at her for a good minute. I knew how determined she was and with that, I decided to keep my mouth shut and go along with it. That did not mean I was going to have a good time. I will just find a dark corner and wait to leave.

When I came back into the room from my shower, she threw a pair of dark wash boot-cut jeans at me and an olive green halter top. I gave her a look of disdain and grudgingly pulled the outfit on. I looked at myself in the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door. I had lost weight, even I would admit that much. Once I got over that shock, I didn't look half bad. Alice walked up behind me and gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

After I let her pull my hair into a low pony-tail, leaving my hair wavy, we were on our way.

The party was already in full swing when we finally got there. Jasper quickly whisked Alice to the dance floor which I noticed that Em and Rose were already occupying. I grumbled to myself at once again being the odd one out and made my way over to the makeshift bar. I grabbed one of the traditional red plastic cubs and poured a hardy amount of straight tequila. If I was going to be stuck here, I was going to do it right.

I made my way over to a corner of the dance floor, sipping my alcohol. I was lost in thought when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I twirled around to find a very tall man staring down at me. He was of Native American descent and had the most beautiful onyx colored hair I had ever seen. He grew it out just past his shoulders and had it tied back in a pony tail at the nape of his neck. He slowly looked me up and down before a lazy smile spread across his face.

"Hey there. I noticed you were standing here alone. I'm Jacob" he held out his hand to me.

I just looked at it for a moment. "Hi…I am Bella. I was dragged here against my will, so I am protesting."

He gave a bark of laughter which immediately made me jump back a little.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you there. Would you care to dance while your protesting?"

"Um, I don't dance. It is hazardous to mine and other people's health," I mumbled.

"I think I will take my chances."

And with that, the tall man pulled me out onto the dance floor. Alice looked at me in shock, but quickly beamed. The night passed with Jacob staying close to my side. I came to find out that he was a sophomore, studying mechanical engineering. He was also a part of the frat with Emmett. I told him I was from Forks and he from La Push. I was surprised that I had never met him.

For the first time in months I had found myself laughing. My friends couldn't have been happier.

I knew I wasn't anywhere near normal after the months of purgatory I put myself through and the heartache that I experienced. But I decided as Alice and I made our way home that night that I would at least try to make somewhat of an effort to enjoy this crazy college experience with them.

I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

Despite the revelations of the evening, I still found myself wistfully wondering what _he_ was going through with his first semester all the way across the country.


	4. Reactions

**A/N: Here we are back in the present, thanks for sticking with me through the flashbacks. They were necessary though. Just remember that was one side of the story, we will eventually get the other side down the road.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites and putting me on story alert! I am truly grateful. A special shout out to the international readers, thank you so much for reading my little story!**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns it all. Lucky lady.**

-oo-

Ch. 4

**Present Day…**

My head felt like it weighed a ton and for some reason I could not open my eyes. I was coherent enough to know that I was going in and out of consciousness.

"…_what do we have here…"_

"…_white female, early twenties, broken arm and a head injury…"_

"…_Bella?"_

I vaguely reregistered someone in the background talking about me, but eventually I welcomed the blackness again.

-oo-

The first thing that registered was a dull throb coming from the back of my head. I would have touched the spot if my arms didn't feel like dead weight. I vaguely heard movement in the room with me.

"How do you think she will react?"

Rose.

"I don't know. They said she has to stay calm, but this definitely won't keep her calm."

Emmett.

What were they talking about? Why couldn't they be more informative?

"I didn't want her to find out this way. He didn't want her to find out this way." That was Alice.

What, are they all here or something?

"Excuse me, I just have to take Ms. Swan's vitals. She should be coming off the medicine here shortly," said a sugary voice. That must be the nurse.

I felt my arm lift gently and then there was a slight tug and then a quiet beeping sound. This went on for another five minutes before the nurse announced her exit.

I kept trying to open my eyes, but they just weren't cooperating.

I felt a warm hand grip mine and warm breathing sweeping over my face.

"Bella Bear, can you hear me? Wake up sweetie."

I immediately recognized the voice as Emmett once again.

He gave my hand a firm squeeze.

"If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

I didn't want to scare him anymore so I focused all of my energy on my left hand. After a minute, I was able to do it. And then I heard a sigh of relief.

"She can hear us, she must still be affected by the drugs to wake up fully."

I heard some more shuffling of feet and a smaller hand was gripping mine.

"Wake up now missy. You scared the shit out of us!"

I laughed internally at Alice, always the small sprite.

Eventually the haze started to lift and I could register light behind my eyelids. I squeezed them tightly closed, afraid of the glare once I opened them. After a minute I slowly opened one eye and then the other.

I swept the room to see Rose leaning on Emmett near the closed door, Alice sitting next to me still holding my hand and Jasper sitting on the other side of me with a magazine in his hands. I gave a strangled sob when I tried to shift causing everyone to look at me at the same time.

"Bella! Oh thank god." Alice said, almost jumping on the bed.

"Calm down pixie, a little sore here." I said in a hoarse voice.

The rest of the gang surrounded my bed.

"How long have I been out?"

"A little over twelve hours. Your dad is here, he just ran down to the cafeteria to grab something to eat," Jasper said.

"What were you doing out so late in the dead of winter?" Rose asked, coming up behind Alice.

"I took a run; I didn't see the ice before I fell. After I hit my head that is the last that I remember."

"You're lucky someone got to you so fast. That bump you took on the head wasn't pretty," Emmett said.

"So my dad is here?"

They all nodded in unison.

"Great…" I mumbled.

"He raced up here as soon as we called him. Got here in under two hours, used the sirens on the cruiser and everything," Alice said still gripping my hand.

I rolled my eyes, "I am sure that was unnecessary."

"It damn well was necessary. You get the call that your daughter is lying half dead in the middle of a frozen street. See what that does to your heart," my dad said, entering the room.

"I was not half dead Charlie. I slipped like I have done so many times and broke yet another bone. I will obviously be okay."

"Now we know you will be, but twelve hours ago we didn't. Since your awake I can breathe a little easier," Charlie said.

"Its okay dad, I really am fine. I am just really sore and have a dull throb in my head."

"I am going to talk to a nurse to see when we can get you out of here." And with that, Charlie left the room again.

Everybody was silent for a moment.

"How did you guys know I was here? I didn't have any identification on me."

The look on all their faces was a mix of horror and worry.

"Um, Bella…" Emmett began.

"There is something that we need to tell you." Rose finished for him.

"What?" I asked.

"You have to realize we didn't want you to find out this way. I have only known for a short time and was going to tell you eventually…" Alice said.

"Spit it out Cullen." I started getting frustrated.

"Ed-" Alice began before she was abruptly cut off.

The door unexpectedly opened and at first my eyes did not register the person standing there.

He had grown up quite a bit since I last saw him. If possible, he was even more handsome. His bronze hair was in perfect disarray and his face had narrowed slightly into one that was full of elegance.

Once my brain finally caught up with my eyes, they widened in surprise and fear.

_Fate hates me_, I thought to myself.

In less then one minute, my past was thrown into my face and I had no idea how to handle it.

Edward Cullen was back.

-oo-

**A/N: Uh oh. He's back…So what did you think? Review! It makes me happy. **


	5. Change Is Coming

**A/N: I am posting this chapter a few days early because I felt kind of bad about that cliffie last chapter. I hope you enjoy Bella's reaction. I know it's kind of angsty right now, but we have to get through all of the years of build up to get to the good stuff. So just bear with me. I have the outline made up; there should be around 16 to 17 chapters plus the epilogue. So we still have a ways to go.**

**Once again, thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate everyone that has me on alert as well.**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns these fabulous characters….I just like to mess with their heads. **

-oo-

Ch. 5

He was here. In my hospital room. Why was he here?

I willed myself to quit looking at him, but his green eyes were keeping mine captive. For just a moment, I allowed the hospital room to fall away and allowed all the years of abandonment to leave. For one moment, it was just Edward and Bella, teenagers sitting in his room listening to our weekly musical choices.

I shook my head of the memories and finally broke eye contact. He was still standing in the hallway, just outside of the room. I noticed that he was wearing a white lab coat. That must mean…

Before I could even finish the thought, Alice interrupted with a clearing of her throat. All eyes went to her, which happened to be right next to me.

"Great timing there dear brother."

He gave her a sheepish look before looking back at me. My moment of weakness at first seeing him had quickly faded away. The familiar feelings of anger and resentment returned, causing my lips to form into a tight, straight line.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I asked venomously.

"I'm assisting my dad with your case. I am doing my internship right now," he made his way into the room, stopping at the foot of my bed. I finally noticed that Carlisle stepped up behind him, giving me a kind smile. I returned it before looking back at his son.

"Like hell you are. I don't want you anywhere near me," I huffed.

Alice rolled her eyes at my dramatics, "Bella, he was there when you were first rolled in here. Just because you are now fully conscious doesn't change that fact."

"I. Don't. Want. Him. Near. Me." I spit each word out as if it were a separate sentence.

"Why don't you talk to Edward after you talk about what happened to you. I am sure you have plenty to talk about," Jasper finally spoke up from my other side. I glared at him before once again turning back to Edward.

"I can always get my dad to fully cover your case. However, that will most likely further push your release time, especially since I was there when you first were brought by the ambulance. So if you want to get out of here sooner rather than later, I encourage you to rethink that," Edward replied quietly, looking down at my chart.

I thought about it for a moment. I must be some kind of masochist because I did not want Edward to leave very quickly. I wanted to hear what he had been up to since leaving all those years ago. I knew that I was only a glutton for punishment, especially after I was just now starting to believe I can have normal relationships. I knew Carlisle was perfectly capable of taking over the case, but I wanted to get out this stupid hospital bed. Also, if I was being completely honest with myself, I really wanted to see Edward in action.

"Fine. What exactly is the extent of my injuries?" I asked.

"You will have plenty of bruising all the way down your back from landing on impact. I am sure you noticed the cast on your right hand; you broke two different parts of your wrist. You will have to keep the cast on for about six weeks. The worst was the bump you took on your head. You required fifteen sutures, which will be removed in about six weeks as well. You did not have any internal bleeding from the scans that we conducted. We will do one more before even allowing you to leave the hospital," he finished, closing my chart and placing it back in its slot.

I nodded, taking in all the information that he just spilled on me.

"Do you have any questions Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"When I need to come back for a follow up, do I see you or Edward?" I asked.

"That is up to you. One of us could probably even come and do everything we need to do at your house. Or you can come to mine of course. There are bonuses to knowing doctors personally," Carlisle replied, winking.

I gave him a goofy grin. That was Carlisle for you. He and Esme were the most perfect couple in existence, but he was definitely the charmer.

I noticed that Edward gave him a harsh glare before rolling his eyes and turning back towards me.

"Um Bella. Do you think I can talk to you alone for a minute?" Edward asked nervously.

I let out a heavy sigh and nodded.

Everyone slowly made there way out of the room before there was a soft click of the door closing behind them. Edward fidgeted nervously at the end of my bed and I had taken up staring at a speck of dust flying around the bright hospital light.

"Sorry that you had to find out I was back in this way. I told Alice to hold off on telling you. So please do not be angry with her."

"I am not angry with her. She isn't the one that up and left without any explanation. You just caught me really off guard…" I said, looking down at my uninjured hand in my lap.

"I am so sor-"

"I don't want to hear it right now Edward. Please. I have been through quite a bit for one day don't you think?" I interrupted him.

"I know Bella, but I have so much-" He made his way over to my side, once again being interrupted.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" bellowed Chief Swan himself.

Edward whipped around and his jaw dropped a little. As quickly as he had appeared at my side, he was standing a clear five feet away from me now.

"Hello Chief. It's nice to see you again."

"You didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

"I am helping to overlook Bella's case."

"Your dad's name was on the forms, not yours" Charlie replied.

"I know. I am just an intern. I specifically called Carlisle to come and take over Bella's treatment. I didn't trust her with anyone but him."

"You have some nerve going anywhere near her after all these years," Charlie said gruffly.

"I understand that sir, but a lot has changed since we last saw each other."

"Save it for someone who cares. You better get out of here now before I make use of the gun I carry."

"Would you two stop already? Dad, I appreciate your concern and you have every right to be angry at Edward. But I am an adult and this is between me and him. Please let me handle it," I asked pleadingly.

Charlie just stared at me before answering, "Fine. But if he so much as makes you shed one tear, I swear that he will regret it."

"You have every right Chief. I will hold you to that," Edward said, "I think I will give you some space and find out when we can get that last scan for you Bella. I hope we can talk again soon."

I nodded before he made his way to the door.

My mind was reeling from all of the action I had witnessed since waking up. Edward was back, and that probably meant that Tanya was too. I wasn't mad at Alice, but I was disappointed that she didn't confide in me. At the same time I understood, especially when I blew up at the lot of them for bringing him up before.

As Charlie resumed his watchful perch over me, I sensed that change was coming. I wasn't sure yet if it was a good or a bad thing. All I knew is that Edward had just turned my ordinary existence upside down once again.


	6. Hurt

**A/N: This chapter is shorter then I wanted, but I am getting ready to go through finals before summer break and this is all I had time to get out. **

**Okay, this chapter is kind of full of the angst. Sorry about that, but Bella has to work through her feelings in order to try and move on. Enjoy some time with Alice. **

**With that, did anyone see Rob at Cannes? Whoa! Seeing him ****everyday ****this week has truly been a blessing. A gorgeous, hunk of a man. Yum! *ahem* Sorry…got carried away.**

**Oh and one more thing. I just got tickets to Comic Con in San Diego the day that the cast is supposed to be premiering a scene or two of New Moon…rumors are that Rob will be there. Same room as RPattz…a dream come true.**

**Sorry about the long A/N…on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, that is S. Meyer. Rob Pattinson can own me any day though. **

-oo-

Ch. 6

"Where do you want this Bells?" Emmett asked from the front entryway of my house.

"Just put it at the top of the stairs. At least I can drag it to the laundry room with one hand," I answered while sifting through the pile of mail left on my counter.

I reminded myself that I would have to thank Alice with some kind of gift for checking on my house.

"I laid it next to the laundry room door. At least you won't have to take it very far. I have to get going to meet Rose at some cake testing crap. Are you going to be okay?" Emmett asked, coming back into the room.

I turned to him and nodded my head, "Of course I am fine. I'm just glad I am finally home. I just want to sleep for days."

He gave me a toothy smile and engulfed me in a big hug. After he left the house was oddly quiet, too quiet.

I had ended up spending three days total in the hospital. They would have let me leave sooner if it hadn't been for the damned head wound. I kept feeling lightheaded and the doctors would not release me until the spells had disappeared. Edward made himself scarce after the run-in with my father. I knew he was around though, he could be heard outside my room a couple times a day talking to whoever was visiting me at the time.

I slowly made my way up to the second floor. I walked passed the laundry room figuring the dirty clothes could wait. It barely took me five minutes to slip on a tank top and lounge pants before slipping under the cool covers of my bed. Not the hospital bed that had been laid in hundreds of times, but my bed. Life was good.

-oo-

My sobs woke me out of a dead sleep. I looked around confusedly, not sure where I was. When I saw the familiar surrounds, I immediately calmed down. That did not last long however when I remembered why I had woken up in that state. My dreams began to star Edward in the leading role…again. That had not happened since college when I finally tried to forget about him. Obviously all that work was in vain, he was back now.

The dreams had been old memories of our good and bad times together. Instead of getting up for the day, I lay back in the soft pillows and began obsessing over the dream.

Edward as my first kiss, Edward teaching me to dance, Edward pushing me into the pool our sophomore year of high school. The memories went on like that, good ones. Suddenly they had turned into sad ones. Edward bringing Tanya to the Homecoming dance, Edward telling me about his first time (and obviously how it hadn't been me), and all the times I had the opportunity to tell him how I felt and didn't. Lost chances, breaking of a heart and tear stained cheeks.

I didn't realize the tears had begun to fall. The wound that I worked so carefully to seal shut was ripped back open. Five years of pent up anger, exhaustion, depression and other feelings came rushing back. It was slightly jarring and if I hadn't been sitting my knees would have buckled from beneath the weight of my realization.

What made my situation even worse was that I was still deeply in love with him. Seeing him in the door of my hospital room felt like a punch in the gut. Five years had only increased this yearning to be near him.

The worst part about all of this is that he hadn't attempted to talk to me outside of medical discussions since that first night at the hospital. Edward had more then enough chances to get me alone and say whatever he needed to say. That hurt.

I hated that he had this effect on me. I had built a life up since school ended; I had become an independent woman. I hated that he took that away from me, as if he never left.

Why now? Why did he have to come? He had never tried to contact me in the half a decade since I saw him last. I suppose his loving wife had something to do with that bullshit.

The ringing of the telephone broke me out of my reverie. I was tempted to answer but I had become hysterical. Someone definitely didn't want to talk to me right now, a broken fool.

-oo-

"_Hey, this is Bella. Sorry I can't make it to the phone right now…."_

The sound of my voice ringing throughout the living space from my answering machine startled me awake.

I had barely moved from the spot on my bed for two days. I did not have the energy nor the want to even try.

"_Bella! Are you there? Dammit, pick up this phone. I know for a fact that you haven't gone back to work yet and your car has been sitting in the driveway since before your accident. If I don't hear back from you in two hours, I am coming over there!_" Alice yelled through the phone.

I grimaced before rolling my eyes at her being melodramatic. I knew I couldn't ignore her forever. If she wanted to get into my house it wasn't very difficult, especially since she had a key.

I know I was being stupid, reverting back to my old ways of feeling sorry for myself. In that bedroom, I was nothing but my eighteen year old self all over again. Forget all the life experience I had gained in five years, or the relationships I had allowed myself to finally experience, or anything that helped in getting me where I was today. That all flew out the window with the return of Edward, my lost love.

The phone rang several more times. There seemed to be a pattern of all of my friends checking up on me. Emmett's messages were the loudest. I knew I must have had at least thirty messages left on my answering machine.

I had the television on, but on mute. The house was dead silent and the sun was setting on yet another day. All the sudden, Alice burst into my room with anger radiating off of her. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"What the hell are you doing?" she stomped over to the bed and threw the blankets off of my body.

I didn't answer her.

"Are you seriously doing this again? Letting my brother control your thoughts and emotions? Your not going to make me go Rosalie on you right?" she asked a bit softer.

"Just leave me alone Alice." I answered in a strained voice.

"Don't do this again. Don't shut everyone that cares about you out. You made so much progress and it would be a shame to lose that now."

"I don't care anymore. Why did he have to come back?"

"I want to tell you all of that. But first, I think a shower is in order. You're starting to smell," she answered while scrunching her nose.

"Shut up. I do not."

"Yes hun, you do. Now go and I will pick you out something to wear."

And with that statement, Alice flitted across the room and disappeared into my closet. I rolled my eyes again and pulled my stiff body off of my bed. I made my way into the large master bathroom and switched on the shower, making sure it was the right temperature. As I allowed the steam to rise, I took stock of my appearance in the mirror. There were faint shadows under my bloodshot eyes and I looked extremely pale, even more then usual.

After wrapping my huge cast in a trash bag, I stepped into the shower and allowed the scolding hot water run down my back. I felt a little of the tension leave my body as I soaped up and made myself more acceptable to be around.

After the shower was over, I stepped out and wrapped the large, white towel around my body. I noticed that Alice must have set a pile of clothes on the vanity next to the door leading to my bedroom.

I dried off and pulled on my favorite pair of worn in jeans. She must have been in a forgiving mood because she also set aside a vintage Rolling Stones t-shirt. I guess because it was such an expensive shirt, she didn't mind me wearing it.

I brushed through my knotted hair and made my way into the bedroom. The sheets had been changed on the bed and it was fully made. How Alice had managed to do all of this in the span of fifteen minutes stumped me.

The smell of coffee wafted upstairs from the kitchen. It seemed to carry me to the doorway where I saw Alice preparing a cup for each of us. I sat at the bar stool that provided seating at the counter and continued to watch Alice.

"I think you need to talk to Edward," she said without turning her back.

I simply gawked at her. That was straight to the point; obviously she didn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything to me.

She turned around and raised an eyebrow to my silence. I just shrugged and took the mug that she offered me.

I continued to look down at my mug and said the first thing that came to mind, "How is he holding up with seeing me again?"

"He is a wreck. He feels so bad about everything that has happened and didn't happen between the both of you. Seeing you reminded him of everything he lost back then Bella. Edward has been calling me a few times a day to see if I have heard from you. When I tell him that I still hadn't, he goes ballistic. I had to send Emmett and Jasper over to his place to keep him from running over here. So you really need to come out of hiding."

"He's a wreck? What about what I have been going through?" I spoke defensively.

"Well if you answered your phone at all we would know what you are going through. Since that is obviously too hard for you to do, I had to take matters into my hands."

"Geesh Alice, sorry to inconvenience your life."

"Don't you dare pull that card on me Isabella! You know that is not true, you're just talking out of your ass right now. You're hurt and confused. You need to reach deep within yourself and let go of all that resentment. You really should hear his side of the story."

"How long have you known about him being back?"

"About six months. I would have told you sooner but he didn't want you getting upset. _He_ wanted to protect you from him. _He _was being selfless if you ask me!"

"He was being selfless? Are you kidding me? I get where he is coming from with me probably flying off the handle with him being back. But I would have preferred learning of his return _before_ I cracked my head open and had him sprung on me!"

"I know and I am truly sorry that we didn't tell you sooner. Can you please not be mad at me over this? You are my best friend and I don't want this getting in the way," Alice asked with a sad look in her eyes.

I stayed silent for a moment, running over the words she spoke to me in my mind.

"I forgive you Alice. I am resigned to the fact that he is back. It just feels like the wound has been opened again and it's a staggering feeling."

"The only way you will ever get passed this situation is if you actually sit down and talk this out with him. I assure you that he is just as messed up as you are. The two of you are the only ones that can heal each other."

"I don't know about that, but I do agree that I need to talk to him about it all. Maybe it will finally close that part of my past."

"Great! Because I gave him your number. I told him not to call you until I gave him the okay." She said jumping up from her seat and grabbing her purse.

"Alice!" I whined. "You didn't!"

"Don't whine, and yes I did. I need to go, but expect a call from him sometime tonight. I am sure sooner rather than later. He is anxious to talk to you."

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and danced her way out the back door to her car. I shook my head and tried to process everything that we talked about.

Somehow I had agreed to talk to Edward. I guess it was progress, because I was definitely tired of staying in limbo over this mess.

-oo-

**A/N: We are making progress, believe it or not. I would say that Edward's POV is about two or so chapters away…we will hear his side of things. I am so excited! So go leave me some love, it makes me happy!**


	7. Girl Time

**A/N: This is definitely a filler chapter. I am currently working on a 12-page history paper for a final and I am freaking out. So I wanted to write something before we really delve into anything and I was kind of tired of the angst from last chapter, so I wanted some bonding time with Bella and her girls. Even better then that, some interaction with Edward! Just a little tease though. ;-P**

*****Sorry for the multiple emails if you got them. I had to repost this.*****

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns it all. Rob owns me, especially after that fitted tux he wore at Cannes. *swoons***

-oo-

Ch. 7

Once Alice left I seemed to have snapped out of my pity party, at least briefly. I took advantage of my new found energy to get some things done. Of course this proved to be difficult with only one arm.

My first stop was to the answer machine.

Thirty-seven messages over the course of three days. I pushed the button to relay them back to me.

Ten messages from Rose. Five from both Emmett and Jasper. Fifteen from Alice. One from Charlie. And one from Jake.

"_Hey Bells, its Jake. I am going to be back in Seattle for a weekend on some business. If you want to get together, let me know. It's been age's girl. I would love to see the whole gang, so I will let Em know I will be back to. Call me back."_

Jacob Black was one hell of a guy. The first guy that I allowed myself to pay attention to after the whole Edward fiasco. We got along famously and even attempted a few dates before that fizzled out. We decided that we were more brother and sister then the couple type.

I was both relieved and pissed about this. He was able to semi-distract me from my bronze obsession in short spurts, and I had allowed myself to hope that perhaps Jake would be someone to permanently take that place that apparently Edward never wanted. But when we discovered we were better off strictly platonic, I was kind of glad that nobody had been able to take Edward's spot thus far.

He knew all about the situation that lead me to becoming kind of messed up. Jake was a good listener and gave me good advice from an outsider's point of view. He would be good to have around for a day or two to help me work out my current issues with the reemergence of Edward into my life.

I continued on up the stairs to throw a pile of laundry in. A pretty mundane afternoon if you asked me.

The weather outside was disgusting and fitted my mood. I kept glancing at the clock, watching the numbers dwindle away.

Two hours since Alice's departure.

Four hours.

_I thought he was going to call? What the hell was taking so long, _I thought to myself.

Did I really want him to call me? Was I ready to deal with him? Alice had said he was anxious to talk to me, so why was he taking so long? I am sure that she gave him the okay as soon as she got into her car.

I decided to make myself some soup around eight in the evening, hoping that it would perk me up a little bit.

I was just about ready to sit down at the bar to eat it when my cell phone started buzzing from my purse. I hurried over to it and didn't recognize the number on the caller ID. Figuring it was the one person that I was waiting to hear from, I flipped open the phone.

"Hello?" I answered tentatively.

"Bella?" came the smooth, velvet voice.

"Yeah."

"Hey, it's Edward."

"Hi…" I trailed off, feeling a bit awkward.

"Alice gave me your number. She said that it was okay to call you…" he said just as awkwardly.

"I know. She stopped by today and informed me of the passing around of my number."

"I am sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have called."

"No, it's fine."

"Okay, good. So how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine. Well as fine as I can be with one working arm. My clumsiness has multiplied it seems with the cast."

"I'm sorry. I wish there was some way that I could get the cast off of you sooner."

"Thanks, but it's not the first time I have them. You know that." I said with a smile.

"Oh I know. All those times I had to take you to the E.R. myself. I think you were the only teenager apart from Alice and I that the staff was on first name basis with."

"I am very proud of that! They always took good care of me." I replied.

"I know." he said quietly.

There was an awkward pause in the conversation. I cleared my throat for something to say.

"Um, I guess your wondering why I am calling?" he finally spoke up.

"Yeah, kind of."

"Would you mind meeting me for coffee, say on Tuesday? So that gives you two days from now."

"Um, I don't know Edward. Is that a good idea? I am not sure I am ready for that." I replied.

"Please Bella. I really think we need to talk. I would prefer to do it face to face and at least getting coffee is in neutral territory."

I let out a frustrated sight, "Okay. But it would just be you and me right?" _In other words, no Tanya right?_

"Yeah, just us."

"Okay, good. So um could we do the afternoon? I have to do at least a half-day at work and the soonest I would be able to meet is three in the afternoon."

"How about we meet at Café Allegro around four? My shift at the hospital ends right before that, so I can just right over." he asked.

"Yeah, that works. Um, I guess I will see you then."

"Yeah, sounds like a plan. Thanks for agreeing to it," he replied with a hint of excitement to his voice.

"No problem. Bye Edward."

"Goodbye Bella."

I hung up the phone and tossed it back into my purse. I looked at the clock again and hadn't realized I had been on the phone for almost an hour.

I felt a little uncomfortable meeting him alone, but at least, like he said, it was a neutral place. I could run if I felt the need to.

Feeling a little bit lighter then I had when I woke up to Alice barging in, I decided to go to bed early. Tomorrow was a dress fitting with Alice and Rosalie, so I knew I would need my energy for those two tornados.

-oo-

I finally found a parking spot about two blocks from the dress shop. Why Rosalie had to pick a shop in the middle of downtown Seattle was beyond me. There was barely any parking and now I had to hoof it in the heels that Alice forced me to wear. She had threatened to force me into yet another shopping spree, so I decided to wear the damned shoes to shut her up.

I was out of breath by the time I made it into the warm shop.

_Thank god for heaters!_

I quickly took off all of the layers I had put on. The cast was a bit awkward because I had to maneuver the coat a certain way to pull it off of my arm. I couldn't wait to get the stupid thing off and I still had five weeks to go.

I spotted Alice and Rose in a far corner of the boutique. They were looking at a blood red, strapless dress. I cleared my throat when I made it over to them. Alice turned around and squealed when she saw me. I was quickly engulfed into a tight hug.

"What was that for?" I asked her.

"Edward told me that you two are getting together tomorrow!" she squealed again.

I rolled my eyes, "Just for coffee Ali. He asked me and I said yes. No big deal."

"Oh we all know that you want to jump him. You haven't gotten any in what? A year?" Rosalie piped in. Leave it to her to make me blush harder then normal.

"I will not jump him. I won't be the other woman thank you!" I snipped back.

"Bella-." Alice started to say but she was quickly cut off by the manager of the store.

Whatever she was about to say was forgotten because we quickly got into wedding mode. Rosalie was surprisingly in a good mood, Alice was the one that seemed like bridezilla.

"No Bella. The strap goes around your shoulder like this," she motioned with her hand, "not straight!"

"Excuse me. It doesn't look good on me anyways," I said getting annoyed.

"I agree Bella. I think that light blue one you tried on first was the best one out of the bunch. I kind of like the idea of having blue in my wedding, don't you think Alice?" Rose chimed in.

Alice mulled that over for a minute before beaming, "Since you are having a spring wedding that is perfect."

We went at it for a few more hours. By the time we were finally finished it was late afternoon.

"Thank god the bridesmaid's dresses are out of the way. That is a really big chunk of weight taken off my shoulders," Rose sighed, plopping down on the couch in hers and Emmett's flat.

"I can't believe we are sitting here talking about wedding details. Rose and Em, the first of our group to marry off. Time sure does fly," I mused.

With that statement, we jumped into reminiscing about our past together.

"Remember when Emmett mooned Mr. Varner right after graduation? He was lucky that no charges were pressed. I withheld sex for two weeks because of that dumb move," Rosalie said with mascara streaming down her face.

It felt really good to just laugh. I finally felt carefree for the first time in ages. These were my sisters in every way but blood.

"I just thought of something," I said suddenly. "Do you remember when you both stayed over at my house the end of sophomore year? Charlie had already gone to bed and the boys decided to pay us a visit. That was when we played truth or dare and you dumbasses forced me on Edward!"

"We did not force you on him! He didn't seem to fight too much when we dared him to kiss you!" Rose said.

"Yeah and remember we each had one bail out. He could have used it," Alice added.

"That was my first kiss" I sighed, touching the tips of my fingers to my lips

"After that Em just had to ruin it by laughing at the goofy grins on your faces. That woke Charlie up and got us all into trouble. Remember when he forced all three of them to sit on the couch in a row and lectured them. They practically ran out the front door like scared puppies," Rose said.

Charlie had been _furious _that the guys were in my room in the middle of the night. It took the better part of a year before he came around to accepting them into the house again, as long as he was around.

"We have definitely been through a lot together and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you guys," Alice said tearing up.

We got into a group hug and then ended up getting into a pillow fight. Friends are the best people to have around, without them, life would be much more cruel.

-oo-

**A/N: Sorry this wasn't much progress. I don't want you all thinking I am just about the angst. I promise there is happiness in this too. I am all about HEA's. **

**Ages/relations of the characters:**

**Rose - 26**

**Emmett – 26**

**Jasper – 25**

**Alice – 25**

**Bella – 25**

**Edward – 25**

**Edward and Alice are twins.**

**Rosalie and Jasper are cousins. Jasper is Whitlock and Rosalie is Hale. **

**Emmett's last name is McCarty.**

**Alice is dating Jasper (they have since the beginning of senior year).**

**Emmett and Rosalie are engaged.**

**I just wrote a one-shot called "Hunting Rendezvous". It has my first lemon in it (I wrote it as practice for this story). If you have time to go over and read it, maybe you can let me know how I did. I am a bit nervous about it. **


	8. Waiting

**A/N: Here is the first part of Edward's POV. I am not sure about this chapter. I had a difficult time writing him. He is so complex and I didn't want to reveal too much yet. So I hope you guys like it better then me.**

**I had every intention of posting this earlier but I was highly distracted by those shirtless Rob photos surfacing from Italy. All I can say is damn! I have been drooling all day. Makes me even more excited to see him in July at Comic Con….its cant come fast enough!**

**Also, I am so sorry that I didn't get a chance to respond to reviews. I am horrible, I hate that I didn't do it. Just know that I am appreciative of everybody taking the time out to read my little story and even more time to write something to me. They really are a treat!**

**Anyways, on to the chapter. A/N at the end. **

**Disclaimer: Ms. Meyer owns it all. I own Dr. Fitzgerald though (even though he is used only briefly).**

-oo-

Ch. 8

EPOV

Being back in the state of Washington was definitely strange, especially considering the fact that I had such an abrupt departure the last time I had been here.

I pulled my Volvo into the parking garage of Harborview Medical Center to start one of my 24-hour shifts. The hospital was really great and the staff was a nice change to the people I had endured in New Hampshire. The east coast didn't really suit me; I guess I was just made to live in the Northwest.

It was a frigid December afternoon and I pulled the scarf tightly over the lower half of my face as I made my way across the street to the main hospital.

Once I made it into the warmth of the front entrance I quickly made my way up to Dr. Fitzgerald's, my mentors, office to get my schedule. Once I found out that I would be helping out in the E.R. after my rounds, I quickly dropped off my outdoor gear in my locker.

I headed down to the familiar nurses station to get the charts on patients. I quickly spotted Susie behind the counter. She was a middle aged nurse who had befriended me on my first day at the hospital.

"Hello Dr. Cullen. How are you doing this afternoon?" she said looking up from the computer.

I gave her a warm smile, "Pretty good. I finally put the last moving box in the trash this morning. I am officially moved back to Washington."

"Congratulations. I know how horrible moving can be. I have moved at least three times in the last five years. Larry and I were at least able to keep the kids in the same schools."

"Yeah, it is a bit of an in-convienence. But at least it's done." I gave her a crooked smile.

"You know you look like your dad when you give people that smile. Has a big effect on the female population," she said with a wink.

I let out a breathy laugh, "I don't even really realize I do it to be honest. Maybe I picked it up from him," I said, checking over a patient's file that had a severe case of the flu. "Speaking of the other Dr. Cullen, have you seen him around?"

"He came by here about an hour ago. Would you like me to page him for you?"

"No, that is okay. I just haven't gotten the chance to talk much in the past few weeks. No big deal."

I talked with her for a few more minutes before making my rounds with different patients.

About two hours later I received a page for an incoming emergency. I quickly made my way down to the E.R. to join three other interns and a few of the doctors.

The ambulance pulled up as I was walking outside. The doors were flung open and two EMT's wheeled out what appeared to be a young woman with a neck brace on.

"What do we have here?" asked Dr. Fitzgerald.

"There was an accident with icy roads. Stats are white female, early twenties, broken arm and a head injury. She has not stirred since she fell according to the witnesses. She has no identification on her" the EMT replied.

I came up to stand just behind Dr. Fitzgerald. This is the first time I got a chance to really look at her. Her eyes were closed as if she was sleeping, but I knew she must have fainted. Her long brown hair was matted with blood and her right arm in a sling. I immediately felt the wind being knocked out of me for a brief moment. I was looking at my past. She was even more beautiful then she was five years ago, the last time that I saw her. I felt my eyes water a little bit at the surprise and sadness that swept over me.

"Bella?" I croaked out.

She didn't answer me. Of course she wouldn't. The EMT just said she had been unconscious since before the ambulance got there. I knew I had to stay close to her, even if she hated me being there.

We wheeled her into the building and we quickly ushered her into get radiographs performed on her head and arm.

After what felt like hours, we found out that the head wound was relatively minor and would just require sutures. She had broken her right wrist pretty good and I casted her up with a deep green color, knowing that had been her favorite color at one time.

"Dr. Cullen, I noticed that you muttered a name while we were outside. Do you know this woman?" Dr. Fitzgerald came up to me once we got her resting in a room.

"Yeah. I have known her since I was a kid. I was thinking that we should call my dad in on this one, he was her doctor for most of her life" I responded.

"Good idea, go ahead and get him paged."

I nodded and made my way over to the reception desk. I didn't know the woman behind it, but she was a busty blonde who appeared to be in her late twenties. She noticed my approach and immediately perked up. She attempted what I guessed was a seductive smile, but she failed miserably.

I gave her a smile before leaning on the counter.

"Hello Dr. Cullen. What a nice surprise. What can I do for you?" she said in a sicknengly, sweet voice.

I noticed her name tag read Megan.

"Good evening Megan. Could you please page the other Dr. Cullen for me to meet him up on the 4th floor?" I asked.

"It would be my pleasure. Is there anything else I can _help_ you with?" she said leaning towards me.

I found myself leaning back slightly, "No. That will be all for now. Thank you very much for your help."

I gave her another smile before walking off and mentally rolling my eyes. Desperation was not a turn on and women just did not seem to get that.

Another half an hour passed before my dad showed up. He gave me a warm hug as we exchanged greetings.

We walked into Bella's room together where she was still out cold, but at least resting comfortably.

"She has matured so much," I said quietly.

"She has. Very successful with her job as an editor and I believe she is looking to writing her own work," Carlisle said.

"Alice said that she got the job at Volturi Publishing House. That is really exciting."

"She doesn't know your back yet, does she?" Carlisle asked suddenly.

"No, I told Alice to hold off. I know she will be angry."

After a few more minutes of conversation, Carlisle said he was taking over her case and that he wanted me to shadow him. We got special permission from Dr. Fitzgerald for me to do so.

I quickly called Alice up and reported the news back to her. Within the hour four of my closest friends showed up to support the one that I had missed the most.

I excused myself to let them hover over her so that I could take a few minutes to myself.

-oo-

"Dr. Cullen, I just checked Ms. Swan's vitals. She seems to be coming off of the sedatives and should be awake in a few minutes," Susie called from down the hall.

I quickly threw my white jacket back over my scrubs so that I could get ready to face her. I nodded to Susie and started to head towards my father's office to fetch him.

"Dr. Cullen!" Susie called from behind me. I quickly spun around to look at her. She made her way over to me, "I forgot to mention, Tanya called for you."

I sighed and simply nodded at her before continuing down the path to my father's office.

We made it to Bella's room and I could hear her voice faintly on the other side. The others were getting ready to spill that I was here, but I decided to beat them to it and reveal myself to her.

To say that she was upset would be an understatement. I attempted to explain to her but she refused to listen to me. Thanks to our friends' help though, she calmed down enough to let me explain what happened to her.

After that was done, she agreed to let me talk to her alone. This is where it all turned sour. Her father walks in right in the middle of the conversation and all but threw me out of the room.

Chief Swan had always treated me like a son. I knew that he would probably despise me now, but it still hurt to come face-to-face with it.

-oo-

I didn't dare go back into her room without my dad. I decided to keep it strictly doctor-patient conversations because I figured that would make Bella more comfortable.

That was just the surface though. Underneath that hardened layer, I felt like a burning man. I had a lot of things I needed to tell her and now that she was right there, it was too much to bear at times.

We were going to release her later that morning after she woke up, but she started complaining over feeling dizzy. That should not have been happening. Twice she actually fainted and we were forced to keep her until the spells stopped. That took about two days before we gave her a final scan and strict orders to rest while she was at home.

Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Alice had set up a routine to come. There was always someone with Bella, and they would rotate every few hours to be with her. Even though I didn't go in her room, it didn't mean that I wasn't close by. I used the time that she was asleep to catch up with my friends.

We finally sent her home three days after she arrived. Emmett took her home.

I called up Alice the next day to see if she could give me Bella's number. I figured I could at least try and call her.

"I can give it to you, but don't call her just yet. I haven't been able to get a hold of her since she got home yesterday," Alice said.

"Is that normal to not hear from her?"

"Not really. I usually talk to her at least once a day."

"Well keep me updated, okay? I will hold off on calling her."

I hung up with Alice and went back to my next shift at the hospital.

Over the next two days, I kept calling Alice. She still hadn't heard from Bella and was going to go over to her house later on the third day of nothing.

I kept freaking out, hoping that she was okay. Alice told me that she had a handle on it and suggested that I hang out with Emmett and Jasper.

Later that day, I finally got a call from Alice.

"I saw her. Go ahead and call her."

I ended up at the gym for a few hours and then paced even longer in fear of calling her.

Finally building up the courage to dial the number, she answered on the third ring. Her voice was breathless and tired. I knew she was unsure about meeting with me, but after a little begging, she finally agreed.

I hung up with her after about forty-five minutes on the phone. We had made progress; at least she talked to me without crying or yelling.

I couldn't help myself; I did a little happy dance for my upcoming coffee meeting with Bella.

-oo-

**A/N: What did you think? We are going back into the past next chapter to see what Edward's deal was while in high school. I am working on it now; it is kind of difficult to write, so just bear with me. **

**Reviews are almost as good as seeing Rob shirtless, in romantic Italy. Almost. **


	9. Broken Man

**A/N: I was originally going to have a lemon between Tanya and Edward in this chapter, but I just couldn't do it. It is implied, but I don't go into detail. I didn't like Tanya in the books very much, and I cringed when I tried to do the lemon. I could only ever write a lemon for Edward if Bella is involved. I hope you all understand…and somehow, I think you all are in agreement. :-)**

**Also, just to warn you – there is drug use in this chapter. I do not condone it, but it did fit in with the story. Also, language. **

**This chapter is ****huge****. I was going to break it up, but I kind of just want to get past all of this revisiting and move on! Exciting stuff ahead. **

**A/N at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns it all. And Rob definitely owns me after that striptease in Italy. *fans self***

-oo-

Ch. 9

EPOV

**Five years earlier…**

_September 2004_

I had just finished up football practice for the day when I saw her.

Tall, slender and curly blonde hair that went to the middle of her back.

She was almost as stunning as Rosalie.

As I walked by her (she was talking to a few of the cheerleaders), I caught her eye. She had ice blue eyes that seemed to capture me. She noticed the immediate effect she had on me because she gave me a sly smirk.

I shook my head a little bit and tried to remember my name.

"I don't believe we have met. I am Edward Cullen," I held out my hand to her.

"I am new here. Nice to meet you Edward, I'm Tanya Henderson," she said shaking my hand.

-oo-

_Late October 2004_

I made my way to Chemistry anxiously. I knew that Bella would already be sitting there. I had made the decision the night before to ask her to the homecoming dance.

I was definitely attracted to Tanya, but I couldn't deny that I felt something for Bella. I always have if I was being completely honest with myself.

When I got into the classroom, my eyes immediately went to the lab table that I shared with her. She had her hair up in a messy bun and her eyes were downcast to the notebook she was currently scribbling furiously in.

I made my way over to my seat beside her and plopped down. "What has you writing like that?"

She startled a little bit at the sound of my voice, which caused me to chuckle.

In response to my chuckle I received what appeared to be glare from her. "I forgot to log my dream into my dream log. Mrs. Johnson is adamant that my English class keep one for the semester."

"Dreams? Have any good ones lately?" I question her. "Can I see?" I grabbed at the notebook.

"No! I-I mean…no, they are supposed to remain private. And some of mine are a bit embarrassing…" she was blushing furiously at this point.

"Oh alright. I won't force you to share. Good thing it's me and not Emmett sitting next you," I nudged her shoulder. I could have sworn I heard a soft whimper come from her at the contact.

"So…um…I was wondering if you wanted-" I was quickly cut off by the arrival of James. He was a fellow football player and a bit of an ass. He seemed to have been smitten with Bella since the beginning of the year and took every chance he could get to talk to her.

"Bella! Good, I caught you before class," he slid to an abrupt stop in front of the table. He must have run clear across campus because he had to hunch over and catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, patting him lightly on the back.

"Ugh, yeah. Sorry. I ran here hoping to beat the bell. Varner kept us after because someone was spitting paper balls at the back of his head." This caused the surrounding vicinity of students to break into laughter.

"Yeah…it was pretty great. But it cut into my time…" James continued.

"Time for what?" Bella asked curiously.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Homecoming with me? That is if you were planning on going and if you didn't already have a date," he said a bit shyly. What an act! I almost pounced on him for beating me to it.

"Well, uh, that is really sweet James. But I don't know. I'm not much of a dancer…" Bella mumbled.

"Please Bella. I don't want to take anyone else, and I promise not to let you step on my toes," he said with a wink.

This got Bella blushing almost as bad as when I questioned her about the dream journal.

"Okay." She whispered quietly.

"What?" both James and I asked at the same time. Did I just hear what I think I heard?

"I said yes, I will go with you James. Nobody has asked me yet."

_What?_

"Thanks Bella! How about I pick you up around 7? I would like to take you to dinner first."

"Sounds great. Be ready to meet Charlie though," she warned with a smile.

This made James go a little green in the face.

"Don't worry, I wont let him bite." She gave a soft chuckle.

At that point, Mr. Banner had arrived and called the class to take their seats.

I couldn't concentrate at all throughout the lesson. I had wanted to ask her. Now James was going to have the beauty to my right on his arm. I wanted her on mine…

Bella said something about needing to stop by the library before her Calculus class, so she abruptly left before I could even say anything.

I made it out into the hall and the first thing I saw was Tanya. She had on a dark mini-skirt that usually isn't seen in Forks this late in the year along with a fitted black sweater. Her back was to me but I couldn't help but make my way over to her.

"Hey Tanya."

She turned around to look at me, giving me that familiar sly smile. I always thought of a lioness when it came to that grin. She was definitely a predator, and it was kind of hot if I do say so myself.

"Hey Edward," she purred. I took an involuntary gulp as I watched her slither her way towards me.

"Nice outfit," I simply said, taking in her appearance.

"Thanks. Wanna know a secret?" she whispered in my ear.

"Sure."

"I wore it with you in mind," and with that I felt her hot breath on my ear and soon after her teeth grazed the lobe.

"Do you want to go to the homecoming dance with me?" I blurted out.

She gave a girly giggle and nodded.

"Pick me up at 8, tiger" she said as she sashayed away from me.

I stood there for a good minute before rational thought came back to me. _Wait, did I just ask Tanya to the dance? I didn't even mean to. How did she do that?_

-oo-

The dance came later that week with much excitement. I was still pissed that James beat me to asking Bella, but I also couldn't complain about my date.

I picked Tanya up at her house at 8 p.m. on the dot. She wore this tight red halter top dress that landed at her knees. It definitely wasn't the normal homecoming dress; most of the girls tended to wear less provocative things.

We made it to the dance about an hour into it. Heads turned at our entrance as if we were worth any attention. I mean, I guess she did, but I never really got used to my popularity.

We quickly joined my sister, Jasper, Bella and James at a circular table. Bella gave Tanya a glare before turning her attention back to James

_Hmm…I wonder what that was about. _

The rest of the dance went by without too much incident. I noticed that Bella wasn't looking very happy as the night went on, even though James was showering her with attention.

About a half hour before the dance was supposed to end, the music was lowered and Eric Yorkie hopped up on the stage to announce the King and Queen of Homecoming.

"Hey guys. Having a good time?" Eric said through the microphone.

There was a collective yell throughout the gym.

"Excellent. I am here to announce 2004's Homecoming King and Queen," he said, pulling out an envelope.

"This years King is Edward Cullen!" there was a round of applause as I was pushed up to the stage. A corny plastic crown was smashed onto my messy hair.

"And this years Queen is…wow…Tanya Henderson!"

There was a collective gasp throughout the gym as Tanya made her way to the stage.

After the dance, I drove Tanya back to her house. It was passed midnight by the time we pulled into her driveway and I noticed that all the lights were off in the house.

Once I put the car in park Tanya practically jumped into my lap. Her mouth was on mine before I could even register the move. The shock quickly wore off and I reciprocated into her mouth. Her butt was sitting in my lap while her legs were still thrown over the center console. I pushed her back into the steering wheel causing her to moan into my mouth. She traced her tongue along my bottom lip before gently biting down on it. I quickly opened my mouth to allow her tongue to tangle with mine.

We pulled away at the same time, both heavily breathing.

"Want to come inside?" she asked.

I simply nodded and pulled her out of my side of the car. We somehow managed to make it into the house and up to her bedroom without too much incident.

Once the door was closed, Tanya quickly dropped to her knees. She unbuckled my pants and began to shimmy them down my legs.

I gulped, "Tanya, I don't think we should do this now."

She looked up through her eyelashes, making her look like a sexy vixen. "I know. But I want to show you how thankful I am to you for showing me a good time tonight."

Any protests that I had before quickly left as the bulge in my pants continued to grow. I wasn't a virgin. Irina Denali had taken care of that last year at an after-game party thrown at Mike Newton's house. It wasn't anything meaningful; to be totally honest, we were both plastered. It was an almost get drunk and screw agreement.

Coming back to the present, I looked down at Tanya who finally had my pants down to my ankles. The only thing left were my black boxers. She took her long fingernails and looped them into the waistband, slowly bringing them down to join my pants.

She quickly looked up at me before she dived in. (**A/N: They don't have sex. Just to make it clear.**)

-oo-

_November 2004_

About a month had passed since the night of the dance. Tanya and I had grown closer; she was definitely a force to be reckoned with. It almost felt like I was under her spell, I just couldn't help but be near her whenever we were in the same vicinity.

The regular group was gathered at our lunch table, excluding Bella. According to Alice she was sick at home with the flu.

Tanya had taken to eating with us. A lull in conversation gave me the perfect timing to ask Tanya what had been on my mind since that memorable night a month prior.

I turned to her and took her hand in mine. She gave me a curious smile. "Tanya, I was wondering if you would like to start dating exclusively?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied before placing a loud kiss on my lips.

A loud huff came from across the table and I pulled away to notice Alice storming out of the cafeteria. I gave Jasper a confused look.

"She is just worried about Bella," he said quietly. I simply nodded before turning back to my girlfriend.

-oo-

_January 2005_

Tanya and I had been dating for a little over a month and a half. I was still enthralled by her; she was so different from the rest of the girls in Forks. I noticed that none of my friends seemed to feel the same way. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around why that was, she seemed perfectly fine to me.

Only one thing was off with her though. She would sometimes get into these moods that were almost depressed. I couldn't quite figure out why.

I had no idea that I was about to find out.

About two weeks after we returned from winter break, Tanya called me up to meet her at her house. This wasn't unheard of, especially since her parents seemed to not care that she had a teenage boy up in her room or they weren't home.

So I got in my car and drove over there. When she opened the door, I had to take a step back. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked utterly exhausted. I couldn't fathom why since I had seen her only a few hours before and she seemed fine then.

"Are you okay?" I said, stepping into the entryway.

"I am now. Thanks for coming. I want to show you something," she said taking my hand and pulling me towards the stairs.

I willingly followed, wanting to find out why she looked like she did.

Once we got into her room, she quickly shut the door and locked it. I gave her a confused look.

She motioned towards her bed, which had a brown paper bag and a mirror sitting in the middle of it.

She sat indian-style near the items. I sat a little farther back, wondering why she had these things out and what they had to do with me.

"Edward. I am going to be honest with you. I have been doing cocaine for the past two years," she said suddenly.

My jaw immediately dropped, "What? But…how?"

"It isn't hard to hide it. I just can't go too long between takes or I start feeling withdrawals. That might be why you think I act sad sometimes. I wanted you to be here when I take it next, hence my look." she motioned to herself as she said this.

"Why do you want me here?" I asked quietly.

"I want you to give it a try. It's hard dating someone who doesn't do it too. You're the first guy that I have dated that wasn't doing it since I picked up the habit."

"I am not doing it Tanya."

"Fine. Then we are ending this here and now," she said harshly.

"I don't want to break-up."

"Then you're going to have to do a row for me. Don't you want me to be happy?" she said, pouting.

I couldn't believe I was actually considering it. Me, Edward Cullen. Dr. Carlisle Cullen's son and protégé.

I simply nodded as she took out a small Ziploc bag full of white powder. She set up four neat rows on the mirror and handed me a straw.

I watched as she took two of the rows into her nose, sniffing after each snort.

I looked at her for a long second, hoping that she would tell me not to.

When that didn't come, I leaned forward towards the mirror.

-oo-

_March 2005_

It was a sick habit, but now I had grown hooked to coke. Tanya taught me to hide it well, not even Alice noticed any change.

For some reason the habit bonded me to Tanya. Probably in an unhealthy way. I quickly felt like my life was spinning out of control. My friends hated my girlfriend, I felt insecure for the first time in my life. The latter one usually happened when I was coming off of the effects of the drug.

Bella and I barely talked anymore, and knew that she felt the same way about Tanya as the rest of them. Perhaps it was my addiction talking, but I felt the need to fight to keep it a secret. And Tanya was a part of my secret, she could not go anywhere.

I knew that Tanya and Alice had a falling out, but neither would tell me what it was about. All I know is that Alice quit making an effort, and this pissed me off. Naturally Jasper took his girlfriend's side, which pissed me off even more. Never in the history of our friendship had we fought like this. I honestly felt like I was losing a part of myself right then and there with them.

One day at school, Tanya came storming out of the gym with…green hair. She looked really upset. It was one of those days where I was feeling really grouchy from going so long without snorting, and that is probably why I had jumped to conclusions.

She mumbled that she thought it might have been one of my friends that slipped dye into her shampoo. Before she could finish the sentence, I was storming towards the parking lot.

I saw Bella and Alice sitting in the bed of Jasper's truck, most likely waiting for him to meet them to head out.

"Which one of you girls placed that shit in her shampoo?" I spit at them.

"What are you talking about?" Bella said, sounding taken aback.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice her hair is now a nice green color. I know one of you was behind it."

"No Edward, I did not notice. I attempt to ignore that she even exists. How dare you accuse us, _your_ family for most of your life. I am sick and tired of you defending her to us. What happened to you?" Bella spit back at me.

_Drugs, Bella. Drugs are what happened to me_, I thought sadly.

"Me? What happened to me? What happened to you Bella? And not just you, all of you!" I couldn't let her find out anything. She was too innocent and perfect to deal with me, a monster.

It was then that I noticed Jasper's arrival. I ignored him and continued to glare at Bella.

I decided to walk away before things got out of hand. I didn't want to punch him. "I can't do this anymore. You all need to accept that Tanya is staying in the picture. She means a lot to me and today was the last straw. Just stay out of my way from now on"

Bella's broken voice came from behind me, "We had nothing to do with what happened to her Edward. I promise you. Who are you going to believe? Her or me?"

This caused me to stop dead in my tracks. The tone in her voice about killed me. I met her eyes, "I am sorry Bella. But I am taking her side this time." _I'm sorry Bella. I am no good for you. I am a broken piece of shit now. _

When I got back into the campus, Tanya looked oddly more cheerful. I just sighed because she had too many mood swings. This should have been the first clue to what her true nature was.

-oo-

Later that day after I had gotten another row into my system, I started thinking of all the stupid things I had said to Bella that afternoon.

I made my way over to her house and climbed the familiar tree to her bedroom window. I looked in and noticed that she was fast asleep. She honestly looked like an angel at that moment; it took my breath away.

I slowly lifted the window up and crawled in. I found a piece of blank paper sitting near her laptop and I quickly jotted down my apology. I placed it next to her where I had laid so many times the summer before. I just shook my head of the thought and quickly made my way to the window.

-oo-

Tanya's 18th birthday was a week after the fight. We decided to have our own little party. We locked ourselves in her room with a full bottle of Patron (a gift from her father's cabinet) and a baggy full of cocaine.

Later I would regret the events of the night. Mixing alcohol with drugs was the dumbest thing I could have ever done.

At the time though, I thought it was the best idea. We were both feeling the numbing effects that the coke brought to our systems along with the warming sensation in our stomach's from the alcohol.

Before I knew it, I was laying on top of a shirtless Tanya.

Our mouths collided in a steamy, drug-induced kiss. One moment we were fully clothed and the next we were skin on skin.

"Fuck me Edward" she whispered harshly.

And I did just that, not even thinking of the consequences.

-oo-

_May 2005_

I had gotten most of my acceptance letters. All of them letting me know that I could be a proud member of their school in the fall.

I narrowed it down to Dartmouth and University of Washington. Before Tanya, the plan was to go to the same school as the rest of my group. They had all decided on U of W since that is where Emmett and Rose were already at.

I made my way over to Tanya's house to inform her of my decision to stay in Washington for school.

When I got there, I found her sitting in her living room.

She quickly looked up at me, "Edward, I need to tell you something."

"Okay…" I said, sitting next to her.

"Edward, I am over a month and a half late. My periods are always on schedule and…well…I took a paternity test, and it was positive."

"Huh?" was my brilliant response. My brain seemed to have frozen.

"I. Am. Pregnant. With your kid. We didn't use protection on my birthday."

"Shit. Are you kidding me?" I said, abruptly standing.

"No I'm not." she said looking down at her hands.

I raked my hand through my hair in frustration. What was I supposed to do? I wasn't expecting this.

"I need to think. I will talk to you later," I said before quickly leaving.

We didn't talk for a full day before she cornered me at my car in the parking lot.

"Talk to me now. Don't keep ignoring me," she spat out.

"I don't want you to keep it. I can't be a father, especially not one to your kid."

"You want me to get an abortion?" she seethed.

"Normally I would say no, but yes. I can't deal with this now, and my family would flip if they knew."

"Listen to me now Edward. I am going to keep this baby. You're going to be a father. In fact, I will tell your family if you don't step up."

I just looked at her. Had I seriously just spent the last however many months dating her?

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"I wouldn't call it that. But I'm not doing this alone. I want to marry you Edward, before college." she said.

"Marry you? No way!" I said backing away from her.

"Fine, then daddy and mommy Cullen will know all about the drugs, alcohol and how you got me knocked up!" she yelled.

I looked around to make sure nobody had heard us. Thank god it appeared that the parking lot had emptied out.

"You wouldn't…." I whispered.

"Yes I would. If you don't want your little addiction surfacing, then I suggest you listen to me. After we are married, I want to move out of state."

"I am going to U of W in the fall."

"Didn't you say you got into Dartmouth? We are moving to New Hampshire Edward."

"You have no right to corner me like this. Why are you doing this?" I said.

"Because your mine Edward and I am not going to share you with anyone else. Good thing I have the goods on you. Now take me home," she said coldly while climbing into the passenger's side of my car.

_What had I gotten myself into?_

-oo-

My friends weren't thrilled when they found out I would be going across the country for school. But what was I supposed to do? My dad would kill me if he found out about all the dumb shit I pulled.

I couldn't bare the thought of them finding out that I had knocked Tanya up, and I wasn't even out of high school yet.

Tanya and I fought more then ever. I wanted nothing more then to run to Bella, but she shouldn't have to deal with me. I was tainted, dirty and broken.

-oo-

A week or so before graduation, Bella said that she was going to Jacksonville to see her mom. I couldn't be happier for her.

Apparently I showed too much attention towards her because Tanya chose that evening to pick another fight with me.

This time it was on her jealousy.

"You are with me Edward, not Miss Plain-Jane. I don't appreciate you making googly eyes at her in front of me!" she screamed.

I just rolled my eyes, not saying anything.

"I want to elope, before graduation next week," she said suddenly.

"What? I am not doing it this soon," I jumped from my seat.

She quickly pulled out her cell phone and punched in a few numbers. She held it up to me showing my dad's cell phone number.

"One call Edward will ruin your future." she said with an evil grin on her face.

I sat back down in defeat. I am no longer a man, I couldn't even own up to my mistakes. I couldn't face the look on my father's face if he ever found out. And because of that weakness, I was being controlled like a puppet.

We fought a little more about it before my phone went off. I quickly excused myself from the room and answered.

It was Bella.

She wanted me to come over to her house because she needed to talk to me.

A part of me quickly wanted to say yes, but I knew that would do no good. I was in the middle of trying to get Tanya to change her mind and I knew that I should stay away from Bella. She didn't need to be involved in this mess.

I pretty much pissed her off and she ended up hanging up on me.

Some time later, I finally left Tanya's house. She had forced me into a corner enough to get me to agree to elope. We would be leaving for Vegas this coming weekend.

Before I realized it, I found myself driving down the familiar street that Bella lived on. I parked about two houses down and made my way up the tree and into her room.

She was fast asleep.

I took the flashlight keychain from my pocket and flashed it into her eyes. It took her a minute to come around, but she finally opened her eyes, shielding them with her hand from the light.

"What's going on?" she groaned.

"It's just me," I answered

"What are you doing here?" she whispered

"I came to hear what you need to tell me."

"At two in the morning Edward? God."

"Sorry…this was the first chance I got. I didn't mean for you to get mad at me earlier, I'm sorry." I quickly sat down on the bed and felt the bed shift as she moved closer.

I noticed that she was staring at me. Before I could ask why she was doing it, she leaned across my lap and hugged me tightly. I breathed in her fresh strawberry shampoo, wishing that I could smell it everyday.

Before I could get too caught up in the moment, I pulled away. "What did you need to talk to me about Bells?"

She quickly looked down to her lap and I noticed that she was wringing her hands in the comforter, a nervous habit that she picked up from me.

"Um, I need to tell you how I have been feeling for awhile…" she said with difficulty.

I just looked at her confused.

She continued "You see…um…I haven't been completely honest with you on my feelings."

"Okay, then what has been going through the lovely head of yours?" I asked.

"Edward, for the past four years, or maybe even longer, I have had feelings for you. As more then a friend. And I am not talking just some crush. I am _in _love with you. I know that you are going out with Tanya. But I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I was going to tell you around the time you asked her out, but I was too afraid that it would change our friendship."

I froze in the spot. _Bella loved me? _

She kept going, "I don't think Tanya is right for you. You are too good for her. I am not saying that I am good enough for you, but I think we could have something. I miss you so much. You are my best friend. I have been so lonely…"

She began to tear up and I couldn't help myself, I moved closer. I was so overwhelmed with her confession. She loved me? She loved me!

I quickly wiped the tears from under her eyes, not tearing my own from her deep browns. That is when I felt it. The electrical charge. It had always been there between us when we got too close. I slowly started to lean in, Bella copying my moves.

_Kiss her you idiot. You love her too._

But should I? I did not deserve her. She would hate me if she knew my secrets.

When we were mere inches apart, my stupid phone forced me back into rational thought. I jumped off the bed and quickly reached into my phone to silence the ringtone. One look at the Caller ID informed me it was my puppeteer.

I knew I had to leave Bella now.

I gave her a pained look, not wanting to leave without confessing my feelings too. But I couldn't do that to her, not when I had to leave anyways.

"I'm sorry Bella. I am so sorry. I can't do this right now." I quickly turned towards the window and was outside before she could even say anything else.

-oo-

The rest of the week was nerve wrecking. My friends had finally stopped fighting with me about Tanya. I knew they were right about her now, but I didn't need it shoved back in my face. At least we were on talking terms again.

The one that I barely talked to was Bella. After that night, we would only share stealed glances at one another.

I signed myself off for skipping graduation. I asked the school to just send my diploma to my parents later on in the summer and to not say anything to them. Being a legal adult helped make these arrangements.

Friday I was freaking out inside. I had planned to get Bella alone to at least hug her, but I forgot she was leaving that morning. By the time I got to her house at seven in the morning, she was gone.

I was so depressed on Saturday. Tanya told me to meet her at her house by 6 a.m. We were going to get out of town before our parents noticed we were gone. I left them a note, apologizing for everything.

I knew I would have to tell them about the baby, but Tanya wanted to be married before we did.

I made my way over to Tanya's with my mind full of Bella. I was such a stupid fuck-up, listening to Tanya. I ruined my life because of her.

So with a heavy heart, half of my closet in my trunk, a manipulative bitch in my passenger seat, we passed the Forks town sign on our way out, heading towards Last Vegas. Sin City. The perfect place to waste my beginnings in the real world. My marriage would be a lie, which was a huge sin.

-oo-

**A/N: Wow…everyone still with me? Now you know partly why Edward left like he did. He was dependent on this drug that completely took over his life. Tanya was the provider of that habit, therefore he felt the need to keep her close. When she started manipulating and blackmailing him into doing things, he had grown so weak from the lack of control over his life. Edward was a very different guy at the end of the chapter then he was at the beginning.**

**I hope I didn't offend anyone with the abortion part of the chapter. This does not reflect my personal view on the matter, it was just necessary for the storyline. Please don't flame me for it. **

**I hope you liked it. This isn't all of the answers, they will all be revealed next chapter. Are Tanya and Edward still together? What about the baby? How will Bella react? Is he still on drugs? All will be answered. **

**Now go review! This was a huge chapter, I would appreciate it! :-)**


	10. Coffee Confessions

**A/N: Here is the chapter where Bella finally gets some answers! I didn't feel like rehashing over every little detail after the monstrosity of last chapter, so what was already covered in Ch. 9 was summarized in this one. I hope you understand. **

**Oh and congratulations to the cast for all of the awards they won yesterday on the MTV Movie Awards! Rob was looking hot! Hope you all got to see it. **

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns it all, lucky lady. **

**Musical Inspiration: "Apologize" by One Republic (I put this song on repeat)**

-oo-

Ch. 10

To say I was nervous would be a severe understatement. I spent most of the day at work trying to mentally prepare myself for what Edward may say to me.

I was so distracted that I was forty minutes late for the monthly department meeting. What made it even more embarrassing is that I was in the building. Now I am almost guaranteed to be the butt of office jokes until the next funny thing happens.

I'm just going to use my head injury as the excuse for my strange behavior.

I got out of work a little earlier than I anticipated, so I decided to head home first to change out of my work clothes.

By 3:50, I was running late because I should have just stuck with what I had worn to work.

After five different outfits, I settled on my dark wash skinny jeans, brown knee high riding boots with no heel (the very best part of them), a black short-sleeved turtleneck top to accommodate the horrible cast and my black pea-coat jacket.

I know I was probably overdressed for coffee but this was Edward. The first outfits he sees me in after five years were a sweaty jogging suit and then a hospital gown. Not my idea of sexy…not that I was trying to be that for him…

I pulled into a curbside spot outside of the shop about five minutes after four. I practically ran into the building to regain some warmth. Once inside, I quickly looked for the familiar crop of bronze hair. I didn't see him at first so I decided to get in line to put my order in. I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard it.

"Hey Bella," came from behind me.

I quickly spun around, thankfully not losing my balance. There stood Edward –

_Oh. My. God_

And he was wearing his hospital scrubs. I couldn't help that my eyes raked over his body as if he were my last meal.

I quickly shook my head to regain some composure.

"Hey," I mumbled. Not exactly the tone I was going for to sound like a strong woman.

As if he could read my thoughts, his face quickly formed into his heart stopping crooked smile.

I think my eyes went slightly out of focus for a second.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face to match his.

"Here, I got this for you," he said, holding up a coffee cup.

I gave him a confused look. "What did you order me?"

"Um, I got you a Chai Tea, dollop of whipped cream, warmed up," he resited.

"How did you know what I usually order?" I said with wide eyes.

And here come the best part – he blushed. _Blushed_. I have never seen him do that.

He cleared his throat. "Alice may have informed me. I told her we were meeting for coffee and I may have asked her what you liked," he said sheepishly.

I was strangely touched by this small gesture. "Well thank you for doing your research. This is really nice of you. Let me just get you some money for-"

As I began to reach into my purse for the money, I felt Edward's hand lightly grasp my forearm.

"No, Bella. I don't expect you to pay me for it."

"But-" I began to protest.

"Please. Just humor me. I did invite you" he said, finally dropping his hand. My arm had a strange tingling feeling where he had been touching me.

He handed me my drink and led me over to a small table hidden in a private corner.

I'm not going to lie; the moment was awkward we both seemed to be fascinated by our cups.

Finally Edward cleared his throat, "Um, I know this must be hard on you to be here with me. Especially since we didn't end on a good note all those years ago."

For some reason that statement angered me. Suddenly my need to be a strong, independent woman came rushing back to me.

"We didn't have an ending at all because you cowardly took off when I was 3,000 miles away," I whispered harshly.

"Maybe that didn't come out right," he said looking down at his cup.

"Well what did you mean to say? I would really like to finally hear the story on your vanishing act." I leaned back in my chair and gave him my undivided attention.

He began tapping his middle and pointer finger lightly on the table; another nervous habit that he always did. It was kind of nice knowing that there was still some part of the old Edward that I knew in there somewhere.

"Bella, I left Forks because I was a monster and a sorry excuse for a human being," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I said through tightly closed lips.

"I never told you how I truly was because you are so much better of a human being then me Bella. I got caught up in some pretty shady shit back then and got into some trouble."

"What did you do Edward?" I groaned.

He gave a bitter laugh. "Which thing do you mean? The drugs? The unexpected pregnancy? A psycho chick that blackmailed me? Which part do you want to hear first?"

I looked at him for a long moment. Drugs? That kind of explained his odd behavior all those months leading up to when he left. Pregnancy? I didn't see that one coming. And what in the _hell _did Tanya do to him?

He looked at me warily due to my long silence. "How about you start at the beginning?" It came out as more of a question then a statement because I didn't want to scare him off.

He nodded and exhaled a long breath.

"Well it started with Tanya revealing her disgusting habit to me right after winter break of senior year…"

He went on to tell me that Tanya threatened to break-up with him if he didn't try the cocaine. I quickly interrupted him with questions on why he didn't just walk away. He knew it was wrong. His response was that he was a hormonal teenage boy and she gave good head. _Gee, that is a good enough reason to get addicted to something. _

This began a whole chain reaction. Tanya basically taught him how to function while walking around high. That explains why we all didn't suspect one thing. One night they had got too high and too drunk to really comprehend what they were doing and ending up having unprotected sex. Right around the end of the year Tanya discovered she was pregnant.

At this point I started feeling dizzy. Edward tentatively reached across the table and patted me lightly on the back. He had to keep saying, "Breathe Bella."

Then he continued, saying that Tanya threatened to tell his parents about his addiction and the teenage pregnancy. She started to demand marriage. Eventually she had cornered him enough to rush off and get married right before graduation, hence the reason for the abrupt departure.

"Edward how could you be so stupid? Nobody would have abandoned you!" I said, enraged. He was always the smart one of the group, but he was proving to be a huge dumbass.

"I know! But you have to understand that by the end of high school I had zero self-esteem. Tanya drained _everything _out of me. And I was on this sick addiction and she was my provider. I had this messed up notion that I had to keep her close to me," he said raking his hands through his hair.

I just shook my head at him, not being able to completely comprehend this story.

"You could have come to us. We were your family Edward."

He looked down, ashamed. "I know that now. You don't think I haven't gone back in my head wishing I could change things. The worst part was lying to you Bella. I felt like complete shit when you professed your complete self to me and I just walked away. It was the darkest bit of blasphemy I ever committed – not telling you the complete truth."

"Well was _did _you feel at the time?"

"I reciprocated your feelings fully. I just couldn't bare the thought that I had to leave you anyways. I was so tainted that I didn't want to _infect_ you with my atrocities."

"I would have appreciated the right to choose for myself thank you. I am so sick and tired of people handling me with kid gloves. I am a grown woman capable of a lot more!" I said clenching my fists on the table.

"What happened after you ran off and got married?" I asked before he could say anything else.

"Well we got married in Vegas. The next day we set out for New Hampshire. I used money from my trust fund and found a dingy apartment. The bitch pretty much forced me to marry her because of my money. I should have thought about that, but it slipped my mind. She was mistaken though because I am not entitled to get the entirety of my inheritance until I am twenty-five. So she was out of luck with that.

"Once she found out that the money wasn't free-flowing, she became a bit wild. She almost overdosed the cocaine. Mind you, she was doing this all while she was pregnant. Class act, huh? I increasingly became more dependent on it as well in order to escape the hell that was my life. I didn't tell my parents about anything; they didn't know that school was going poorly, that I was dependent on drugs and that my – and use this term loosely – wife was pregnant. About six months after arriving in New Hampshire Tanya went into labor." He stopped and just looked at me.

I raised my eyebrow to signal for him to continue.

"When the baby finally arrived, it was a boy. I found out that is was dark skinned and looked half Caucasian and half African American. Tanya confessed right then and there that she had been cheating on me with some guy in Port Angeles and figured that he was the dad. She decided to pass the kid off as mine because she thought I was going to provide a cushy life for her.

"I quickly left the hospital and went straight home. I went insane Bella, insane. I started breaking things and I found a fresh dosage of the powder. I took all of it. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I do know that I collapsed and I woke up in the hospital. Carlisle and Esme were there, and all my dirty garbage was finally aired out. Dad was livid and mom was hysterical. I had almost died."

"Did the gang know about it?" I asked softly.

He simply nodded.

"WHAT! And how did I never find out?" I said standing up.

"Bella, please sit down. Please!" he said with pleading eyes.

I immediately sat back down and continued to stare daggers at him.

"Alice said that you were in a fragile state and that you almost went off the deep end when she tried to tell you."

I was immediately transported back to college. To a certain night when all four of them came into the dorm room looking solemn. Alice had begun that conversation and as soon as I heard Edward's name I lost it. _They were trying to tell me about his near death experience. Oh god. _

I hunched over at the table because of the sick waves coming over me.

"Bella? Take a few deep breaths. It's okay. I am okay now," Edward said moving over to sit next to me.

He continued, "My parents forced me into rehab and then intensive therapy. By the end of the first year I was on my way to getting healed. My marriage to Tanya was annulled due to false reasoning and she gave the little boy up for adoption. I pushed myself through school and moved back here after finally finishing at Dartmouth."

"Is she completely out of your life?"

At that question he quickly looked down at the table. "I'm not seeing her if that's what you're asking. We are not together, but she seems to always know where I am. She tried calling me a few times since my return to Washington. I believe she is living in Colorado now. I never return her calls; she is probably just look to see if she can manipulate me again into giving her money."

I couldn't really form words after the confession. The ground felt like it had been ripped from underneath me. I had a million emotions going through me at once, ranging from relief to sorrow. It was a strange combination of being repulsed by him and wanting to jump in his lap and never let him go.

"Bella, please say something," Edward said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I-I don't know what to say Edward. I'm sorry that you had such a rough go so early in life, a time when we were supposed to finally be learning about ourselves. But y-you were a selfish bastard for what you did. I'm sorry if that stings, but you were!" I felt hot tears begin to slide down my face. I guess I had decided on my emotion: anger.

"Bella…" he said, reaching across the table to try and touch my cheek. I immediately flinched away from his touch.

"Please don't touch me right now; I feel really betrayed. You have no idea what it was like for me after you left. The moment I found out you left up until right now, I did everything with only half of myself. That night that I finally had the guts to lay my heart out to you, you walked away. You walked away with the other part of me, and I never got it back. And now your back and I finally know why you left like you did. What is even harder to wrap my head around is the anger at myself. They tried to tell me what was going on with you, but your name coming off of their lips sent me over the edge. And because of that one selfish move on my part, they never told me anything else! So I feel betrayed by you, my life-long friends and myself." I finally shut my mouth, my chest rising and falling because of the lack of oxygen going to my brain.

Before he could react to my outburst, I turned on my heel and stormed out the door. I pulled my jacket as close to me as possible with the massive hulk on my arm. I heard a jingling of the door and knew that Edward was close behind me.

"Bella! Wait. Don't leave it like this." He touched my shoulder lightly.

I let out a sigh. "Edward, I need time. You have to give me that much. This is all a bit overwhelming; it feels like I have been lied to for the better part of five years by people that I thought were closer then family. I don't want to talk to you…or anybody else for awhile. Just please…"

I half turned towards him and he silently nodded with a look of pure anguish in his eyes. He dropped his hand from my shoulder and I quickly turned towards my car without looking back.

My mind was reeling as I peeled out of the spot and headed back towards my house.

_Jesus. How much can one person take in a lifetime?_

-oo-

When I was finally about a mile away from home, I finally allowed myself to let everything sink in.

Big, fat raindrops began hitting the windshield with fury, but that barely fazed me as I wiped into my garage. As the door was closing behind me, I turned off the car and rested my forehead against the steering wheel.

I felt my face grow really warm and for once it had nothing to do with my blushing. I felt utterly alone – and I couldn't go to any of my friends since they were loosely part of the problem. They had lied to me. _Lied_.

Yes, I realize that I am partly to blame. If I hadn't become such a basket case over everything Edward, then I would have known that my best friend had almost died of a drug overdose. Or that he believed he knocked a bitch up and was tricked into marriage.

But shouldn't they have tried a bit harder to tell me? Instead of keeping it all to themselves?

I finally pulled myself together enough to get through the door of the house. My answering machine button was going crazy. I knew who was on there; no doubt Edward had tipped Alice off about what happened.

I walked over and pressed the button. Yep, sure enough Alice's voice poured out of the speaker. She begged me to call her back; that she just _had _to explain her side of the story.

Well guess what?

Delete.

There was one from Edward just asking soberly if I got home okay. Short and simple – at least he got that I needed space.

So it went on like that for the next three days. Alice continuously called me, each message getting more and more somber. When Friday finally rolled around, I had simmered down enough to finally answer one of her calls.

I had done a lot of thinking over the last few days. I couldn't just blame one person for this big mess. We had all contributed to it. Yes I didn't know what was really going on with Edward for five years, but I had refused to have any. That was my fault. Edward was dumb for what he did and had almost died for it. I am pretty sure he finally learned his lesson and at least he was trying to move on and make up for those mistakes. And with the group, well they collectively kept a secret. So the obvious is answer – it was everyone's fault. I was ready to at least talk about it, because I had been with these guys practically my whole life and they were some of the very best parts of me.

Alice called for her routine fifth call at exactly 4:45 p.m. just like she had the past three days. This time, instead of allowing it to go to voicemail, I picked up.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella? Oh my god! You're finally answering! I'm so sor-" she began to ramble.

I quickly interrupted. "Alice! Yes, I am finally answering. I have been enjoying your fifteen messages a day. Thank you. Now that I have had some time to let everything sink in, I will talk about it. Feel free to come over whenever."

I knew it would be sooner rather then later.

"Does twenty minutes work for you? I am leaving work here in about five," she asked quickly.

"Sounds good. Just let yourself in."

"Thank you Bella. You won't regret talking to me!" And then she hung up.

-oo-

Twenty minutes later I heard the turning of the doorknob.

"Bella!" Alice practically screamed.

"In the kitchen," I said back in a normal voice.

She came strolling in and just stopped and stared at me. I looked back at her and then slowly made my way to her. I enveloped her in a hug which she quickly responded to. Before I could see it coming, she burst into tears.

"I am so sorry. I have been a horrible friend. Can you ever forgive me?" she blubbered.

"Alice…calm down. I have come to the conclusion that nobody is innocent in this story. We are all at fault. So I have no right to judge you than you have to judge me." I guided her to one of the barstools and I quickly sat in the one next to her.

"That may be true, but I should have at least forced you to listen to me after dad and mom found out about the drugs. At least it wasn't worse then it could have been."

"Yes, thank god he is still walking around and seems to have gotten his life back together," I said.

"The others feel awful to. They are afraid to call you because you might yell at them."

This caused me to laugh a little at the mental image of Emmett cowering from me.

"So he told you everything?" she asked.

I simply nodded.

"And?" she prodded.

"I know that he got married because he thought she was carrying his baby. That she manipulated him. I think he took the cowards way out and ruined a time in his life that should have been more carefree. He told me about his feelings…" I trailed off.

She raised an eyebrow at me to continue.

"I guess he really liked me as well, at least that is how I took his confession." I began to ring my fingers together on the counter.

"I would say it's a lot deeper then love. Just because you weren't hearing anything about him it doesn't mean that it was that way with him. He would call every few weeks begging for updates on you. This was all after the drug stuff came out, but he hasn't given up on you."

I was stunned yet again at the newest revelation. He had kept tabs on me, making sure I was okay.

"I really wish he would have called me or _something. _I am flattered that he cared enough to ask, but still."

"Now that everything is out in the open, what happens now?" Alice asked.

I shrugged. "I am not sure. I want to go slowly though, a lot has happened. I still really care for him, so we will see."

"I have an idea. Since you have practically been cooped up here all week, why don't we all go out tonight? There is that new club downtown that just opened. We were all thinking of going. Please!" Alice started hopping up and down in her seat from the thought of her idea.

I started laughing as she began to shake me. "Okay you Pixie! Okay, yes I will go."

"Yay!" she began to clap her hand manically. "I am going to run home and get ready; I will call everyone and tell them what time to meet. It's already 5:30 so we should get there by 8. That would give everybody time to get ready and get there. I will come back here with Jasper about 7 to help pick out your outfit. I don't trust you enough to pick out your own outfit, and don't you dare huff at me missy."

I just looked at her as she began her rambling. I rolled my eyes at her over-exuberance and didn't say a word.

"Okay, so I will go. Get in the shower at 6:30…that way your hair is still wet so I can do your hair! See you in a little over an hour. Bye!" She waved as she flitted across the room and out the front door.

That was Alice for you. It was nice to have her back.

I started for the stairs, figuring that I could at least finger through some of my outfits to see what I had.

The phone started to ring just as I took my first step up the stairs. I back tracked to the phone and looked at the Caller ID. I gave it a weird look and pressed 'Call'.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively.

"Hey Bella. About time you answered the phone," said a male voice on the other end.

"Sorry. I just had to have space from life."

"I really missed you…" he said.

-oo-

**A/N: First off, sorry for the cliffie! It needed to be done though. Okay…so there are the answers. Tanya is out of the picture, or is she? Hehe. The baby wasn't Edward's; she just passed it off as his because she was a gold-digger and wanted his money. Did you really think I would make him stay tied to her in that way? C'mon! Have more faith in me. He almost died, which is how his parents found out. He is rebuilding his life, which is partly the reason why he moved back to Washington. **

**I ended up combining two chapters because the next one was a bit shorter then I wanted. Up next is the club scene! Some good stuff. Oh and be ready for an extra guest. I hinted at him earlier in the story…can you guess who?**


	11. Too Fast

**A/N: Sorry for taking a little longer then normal to post a chapter. Real life isn't always nice. I hope this makes up for it a little bit. There is lots of Edward/Bella interaction in this one! Oh and just to forewarn you, there is a limey scene in this one. Sorry for any grammar problems in this one, I wrote it really quickly because I wanted to get it out to you.**

**I posted a bunch of pictures of houses, outfits and vehicles on my profile. Go check them out!**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns the characters. Musicians own their songs. I own my fantasy world. **

**Music Inspiration: "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyes Peas – "Disturbia" by Rhianna – "Starstruck" by Lady GaGa – "Revelry" by Kings of Leon**

-oo-

Ch. 11

"I miss you too Jake. I complete spaced about you being in town this weekend. I'm sorry," I mumbled.

I heard a bark of laughter on the other end. "It's okay Bells. There is only one thing that can get you to completely forget the world around you. Did you finally see your main squeeze?"

"He is not my main squeeze. But yes, I did finally run into him. Let's just say there was a lot that I didn't know about."

"Like?" he prompted.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. I am still trying to wrap my head around it all. I will explain it to you another time though."

"That's fine. I will respect your privacy. Now on to more important matters. What are my favorite people doing on this fine Friday night in Seattle?" he asked excitedly.

"Well Alice just left. She is currently getting the group together to go out dancing. We are going to a new club downtown called the Blue Lagoon. You are more then welcome to meet us; I know Emmett and Jasper will be glad to see you."

"Sounds great. What time should I meet you there?"

"I'd say around 8? I know Alice will make sure we are there on time."

"Sounds great, I will get the directions from the front desk and see you there!"

We quickly hung up and I realized that I had to take a rushed shower.

I went through the routine of turning on the water to the right temperature and let it steam up the bathroom. Along with that came the trash bag over the cast (boy this will look hot in a dance club).

Once inside I quickly moved my hair under the shower head. My thoughts quickly turned to Edward and whether he would come out with us. That would be the first time in years since we all did something as a group. Hopefully he got along with Jacob, the last thing I need is drama in that aspect of my life.

I quickly finished up the rest of my shower routine and grabbed for the towel that I had set aside. I wrapped it securely around my body and made my way into my bedroom where I stopped dead in my tracks.

There stood Alice holding up three full-length gown bags and a huge-ass smile on her face.

All I could manage was a scowl. "What are those Ali?"

"Just a few things that I thought might look good on you," she replied.

"In other words, stuff that you bought for _me _on your last shopping trip. Right?"

She just sniffed in response.

"You know I hate when you do that!" I stomped my foot.

"You know I don't give a shit!" she stomped her own foot.

That made me burst into laughter which she quickly followed up with her own. After a few minutes we were able to contain ourselves.

"Okay, whatcha got for me?" I sighed.

"Oh no. First we do your hair before it dries!" Alice said pulling me into the bathroom.

Once she sat me down at my vanity I could faintly hear the TV downstairs.

"Is Jasper downstairs?" I asked.

"Mmhmmm," Alice said with bobby pins sticking out from her lips.

I just nodded in response. A few minutes of silence passed before I thought of something. "Oh! I totally forgot. Jake called right after you left and he is in town. I invited him to join us."

She gave a little squeal while clapping her hands. "How exciting! It's been a year since I've seen him. I think I heard Emmett mention that he would be in town. It will be good to see him."

I nodded in response. "You look really nice Ali."

I finally noticed what she was wearing for the evening. She had managed to get her short hair into ringlets that framed her face. Her dress was a knee-length black and white dress with ruffling on the bottom hem. The top part of the dress looked to be a in the style of a sleeveless blouse with a black satin ribbon going around the waist. She was in five inch heels which I would surely die in if I had to wear them.

"Thanks Bells. You'll look just as good once I am through with you."

I watched her through the mirror as she managed to tame my frizzy hair into soft curls. She did some complicated looking knot with the top half of my hair which included a side part at the top of my head. I swear I was a walking bobby pin; despite all of that though, I think I looked damned good.

I heard a set of voices downstairs that weren't coming from the television.

"Um, Alice. Is someone down there with Jasper?" I asked.

"Hmmm, he is probably just on the phone," she said, never taking her eyes off of my hair.

"But I hear two sets of voices."

"Speaker phone."

She quickly gave my eyes a smoky effect, but not too heavy. And then she applied a light pink lip gloss that she told me to shove into my clutch.

After the hair and make-up was complete, she brought me over to the bed. The first bag held a short red dress with capped sleeves. I would have liked it had it not been for the neckline, which was a deeper v-neck then I was comfortable with.

The second bag held a purple number, one of those bubble type dresses. I quickly passed over that.

The third one was the jackpot. The dress was knee-length and jersey style. The top layer was black which turned into sheer mesh over a nude lining. It was sexy enough but yet left something to the imagination.

I quickly slipped on the dress, careful to avoid messing up my hair. Alice quickly handed me some black heels that thankfully looked like something I could actually walk in.

With one final check to make sure I had everything in my clutch, we made our way down the stairs. Jasper had on a white button down shirt that matched Alice's dress. To go with the shirt he paired it with black slacks and his well-worn black, alligator skinned cowboy boots. You can definitely tell that Alice wasn't able to completely take the boy out of the south.

Jasper helped us into our coats before putting his own on.

"Alright! We have places to go and people to schmooze," Alice said already gliding towards the front door.

We made our way out front where we climbed into Jasper's Bentley. The ride was relatively silent but not uncomfortable. Jasper was able to find parking in the adjacent parking lot.

We quickly exited the car and made our way over to the popular nightclub. There was a line wrapped around the building, but I figured that Rosalie or Alice would easily get us in passed the bouncers.

Alice stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and began looking around. Apparently we were meeting everybody outside before heading in. I wrapped myself more tightly in my coat as I began to feel the cool weather on my skin.

Rosalie and Emmett finally showed up. Rose had on a black knee-length dress with thin straps holding it up. The bodice looked to be a corset which only enhanced her cleavage. She paired a pair of gold, strappy heels with it and kept her hair down in loose waves. Let's just say that she eclipsed every woman here.

Emmett wore fitted black slacks, a tight white dress shirt tucked into his pants where he left the top three buttons undone.

After short greetings were exchanged I heard a throat clear from behind me. We all turned to see that Edward had arrived.

Wow.

I looked over Edward's attire and immediately had to suppress the urge to drool. He had on a black button down shirt tucked into a pair of grey pinstripe slacks. He matched the outfit with black leather loafers.

I finally cast a glance at his face and he seemed to be in shock, still running his eyes over my outfit. I immediately felt myself begin to blush.

He seemed to have noticed that he stared a little too long and quickly cleared his throat. "Wow Bella, you look breathtaking."

"Thanks Edward, you don't look so bad yourself," I said with the blush still prominent on my cheeks.

"And that is why, dearest Bella, that you never need artificial blush on your cheeks. You always have on going naturally," Alice said.

"Shut it pixie," I muttered.

This caused a round of laughter.

"Is that everybody?" Emmett asked.

"I'm hurt man, you forgot about me?" came a deep voice.

We turned yet again to see a very tall man with dark skin. Jacob.

I couldn't help the very Alice-like squeal that escaped from my lips. Somehow, without falling, I ran and flung myself into his arms. He enveloped me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head.

Once he finally released me he let out a slow whistle. "Damn girl, what have you been doing since I've been gone?"

I just rolled my eyes and playfully smacked him on his broad shoulder.

Someone quickly pushed past me, which appeared to be Emmett, who gave Jake one of those manly one-armed hugs.

"It's so good to see ya man! Why hell didn't I know you were coming tonight?" Emmett said, keeping one hand on Jake's shoulder.

"Bells just told me a few hours ago. She was nice enough to let me in on your little outing."

"Jakey! You look amazing!" Alice said skipping over to him.

And he did. His hair was now extremely short after having kept it long all through college. He had on black jeans, a deep green button down shirt and a black bomber jacket. Very Jacob.

After Rose and Jasper were able to greet him, he set his eyes on Edward. _Uh oh._

"You must be Edward," Jake asked gruffly.

Edward just nodded.

"I'm Jacob. Friend of theirs from school." Jake held out his hand for Edward to shake.

Once their hands connected they seemed to be in one of those manly pissing contests to see how can squeeze the other's hand the hardest.

It appeared to be an even match.

"I've heard of you before," Edward said quietly, quickly glancing in my direction before looking back at Jacob.

After that awkward meet and greet we made our way to the front of the club. Rosalie took the lead and gave the bouncer a flirtatious grin. He quickly pulled the rope away and allowed all of us through. I noticed that Edward was standing incredibly close behind me; the goose bumps running up my arms were ridiculous.

Music was loud and throbbing throughout the building. It sounded like "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas was the current tune filtering through. We quickly dropped our coats off at the coat closet and made our way to the bar. The place was crammed with dancing bodies so it made it difficult to maneuver through.

We finally made it to the bar and I ordered a Cosmo, usually my first drink of a night out such as this one.

Jake sidled up on my left while Edward remained firmly on my right. I raised my eyebrow at Edward because he kept scowling in Jacob's direction. He simply shrugged.

I caught up with Jacob, finding out that he was still going strong with his girlfriend of two years, Juliette. His business in Portland was booming and he was in town to meet with a possible client. About an hour in I was feeling pretty good and felt the urge to dance.

I noticed that Rosalie and Alice were already out on the floor, so I made my way out to them. The sound of "Disturbia" by Rhianna came over the speakers. I unconsciously began to move my hips with the beat. I danced a few beats with my girls before I felt a set of large hands grasp on to my hips. I looked over my shoulder to find Jacob there. I smiled at him and turned back around, resuming my dance. I pushed myself closer to him and he twined his hands together at my waist. We rocked together in that position until the song began to end.

We made our way over to the bar for another round, this time a few shots of Vodka. I immediately began to feel the effects of the alcohol and knew that I should slow down.

I noticed Edward glaring at us from his same spot, nursing a beer. Jasper and Emmett had long since gone to dance with their respective girls. What was strange was Edward continuously had a string of women asking him to dance but he continued to shoo them off

I quickly looked away from his glare and grabbed Jake again to go back out to dance. "Starstruck" by Lady GaGa began to play and I quickly turned again so that my back was pressed against his back. I pushed my butt into him and we quickly found a rhythm.

All of the sudden I felt Jacob stop dancing and turn around. I turned with him to notice a very upset Edward looking from me to Jacob.

"Mind if I cut in?" he growled at Jacob.

Jake simply did a Vana White move and gestured for Edward to take his spot with me.

He roughly grabbed me and turned me away from him. He pushed himself flush against me and grabbed on to my hips, hard. I was strangely excited; most likely the alcohol talking or the combination of that and Edward doing the trick.

"Move If You Wanna" by Mims quickly took over the speakers and Edward began to move us in sync.

"Are you trying to tease me?" he whispered roughly in my ear.

I shook my head. This only caused him to grind into my back harder.

"You look so damned hot tonight Bella and I have had to sit there and watch you with _him _the whole fucking time. Are you still together or something?"

I turned around to face him, wrapping my hands behind his neck.

"No Edward. We are not together. He has been with the same girl for years; we are just friends," I replied quietly.

He simply nodded. After a few seconds he moved his right leg between mine and pulled me impossibly closer to him. I felt the heat begin to rise in my cheeks at this new position. The man could dance.

I was feeling bold so I turned my back to him and pushed my ass into his groin. I noticed his enlarged problem immediately. The new position caused him to groan into my ear. I made sure that he had my hips securely against him before I bent from the waist up towards the floor. I grinded into him before working my way back up his body.

"Can we get out of here?" he asked with a strain in his voice.

I answered with a smile, pulling him towards the entrance. We found Alice and Jasper on our way out and told them we were leaving together. I waved at Jacob who just had a knowing smile on his face. After grabbing our coats, Edward took my hand and began making his way over to where he must have parked.

He still owned a Volvo, but it was a genuine sports car versus the one he drove in high school. Very Edward.

He made sure that I was strapped in before he practically ran around to his side. He was in and pulling away from the curb faster then I would have thought possible.

I couldn't help myself; I found my hand move of its own accord to Edward's knee. He quickly glanced down at my hand before moving his eyes back to the road, giving a visible gulp.

I smirked and began to move my hand up his thigh. He began to squirm slightly in his seat. I chanced a glance up at him and noticed that he was gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Just as I was about to close in on his erection, his hand shot out and stopped me. "I don't think that is a wise move while I'm driving. I will end up running us off the road."

I blushed and put my hand back in my own lap. We drove in silence for a few miles, the sexual tension practically screaming at us. I noticed that he kept looking over at me and licking his lips. As we stopped at a red light, he quickly reached across the console and placed his hand at the back of the neck. He pulled my face towards his and he took my bottom lip into his own, gently sucking on it. I couldn't help the moan that escaped. Just as I was about to react, he pulled away and kept on driving.

I was getting antsy when we finally pulled into a set of townhouses on the outskirts of Seattle. It looked really modern and somewhere a bachelor would call home.

Edward quickly hopped out of the car and came around to help me out. I was slightly unsteady due to the alcohol consumption I had earlier, but he held me tightly to him. He climbed the stairs and fumbled with his keys. After a minute of frustrated grunts, he found the right one and slid it into the lock.

Once the door was closed behind us, he pushed me into the wall. I let out a low gasp as he attached himself to my neck. I moved my head to the side to allow him better access. His free hand that wasn't holding me to the wall pushed my hair further out of the way as he kept up the teeth, and the licking, and the blowing. Those three sensations just under my ear almost made my knees buckled.

I forced his face back to mine where our lips finally crashed together. It was a sweet or slow kiss. It was heated and I knew it had been building up since that almost one in my bedroom five years prior.

I pulled away for breath and managed a, "Bedroom."

He placed his hands under my butt and motioned for me to wrap my legs around his waist. Once I was secure to him, he blindly made it to the stairs and up before passing through a door way. I felt myself being lowered unto a large bed after a minute. Our lips only left each other for a minute while he climbed on after me and settled between my legs.

I pulled his shirt out of his pants and immediately began to unbutton it. Once it was completely undone, I pushed it off of his shoulders. He slide it the rest of the way off and threw it somewhere behind him.

He slowed down the heated moments when he began to softly caress my arms. He looked up into my eyes and gave another heart stopping crooked smile. He slowly leaned down and pressed his soft lips against mine before following with the tip of his tongue across my bottom lip. I immediately opened my mouth to accept it and groaned as I was bombarded by everything that was Edward. I felt his hands begin to slide up my torso towards my chest where he stopped right under my breasts. Ever so slowly he pulled the straps of my dress down to uncover my lacey bra.

He began to palm one breast in his hand while his mouth began to travel down to the other one. Once I felt his warm breath over my bra-clad breast I instinctively arched my back. This caused me to push further into him, which in turn made him mimic the movements. As

As he moved his mouth to the other breast, we began to grind into one another. His free hand slipped down to the bottom hem of my dress and started hiking it up my legs.

Whether it was the sudden exposure of so much skin or the loud groan coming from Edward's lips, I immediately ceased my movements. He pulled back and gave me a confused look. I must have looked utterly terrified because he quickly jumped off of me.

"Oh my god, what are we _doing_?" I gasped.

"I'm so sorry Bella. We got carried away…" he trailed off.

"Obviously. We should not be doing this right now, especially after the amount of alcohol with both consumed!"

"I wasn't thinking right. I have just wanted this for so long. I really am sorry."

"It takes two to tango Edward. I'm just not ready for this."

I readjusted my dress as he put his shirt back on.

"Can you please take me home?" I mumbled.

He gave a silent nod.

The ride back to my place was dead silent. I refused to look at him and he seemed to be doing the same. So many things were running through my head.

I was horrified that I threw myself at him like that, especially with alcohol involved. At the same time, it felt so _right_. I had never felt more confident or secure in a man's arms.

I guess I had more thinking to do.

We pulled up to my house and Edward once again helped me out of the car and up to my front porch. We stood there for a minute in silence.

I finally glanced at him and he looked tortured. I placed my hand softly on his bicep, forcing him to look at me.

"I'm not completely sorry for all of this, but I am just asking for a little time. Please, I just need to sort through things," I said quietly.

"Of course, I will wait. I would wait forever if you asked me to." He gently ran his finger over my cheek before giving a sad smile. I returned it and made my way inside.

The last thing I noticed before I shut the door behind me was Edward walking back to his car with his shoulder's slumped.

-oo-

**A/N: So what did you think? Told you it was a slow build-up but I wanted to give you something to hold you over for just a little while longer. Reviews are almost as good as jealous Edward. **


	12. Phone Conversations

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. It was my birthday this week so I have been busy with RL. I had anticipated this chapter to be longer, but decided to break if off at a certain point. Also, I wanted to get something out to you guys.**

**I am sorry once again for the lack of responses on reviews! I just have had no time, but I do read them all and just adore them. So thank you for taking the time out of your life to write something, even if its one word. And thank you for all the favorites, alerts, etc. Those warm my heart as well.**

**Oh, and be aware that from this chapter on, we will be skipping days and even weeks. I will try and make it clear enough. **

**Disclaimer: I am sure it's pretty obvious by now that I do not own this universe. That is S. Meyer; I just spend a lot of time in it. I do own Edward's letter though.**

-oo-

Ch. 12

"Crap. Crap. Crap."

I quickly rolled out of bed the morning after the club incident. A soft dusting of snow littered the street outside my house.

Somehow in the craziness of the past few weeks, I forgot that Christmas was only four days away.

Now, I am always one of those stereotypical last minute shoppers. That would usually be fine and dandy because I would usually have all my gifts by now. But add on the re-entry of Edward, my busy work schedule and my hospital visit, my equilibrium seemed to be off.

I had laid in bed awake half the night after watching the retreating form of Edward. I was feeling a lot of things after what happened at his house – the main one happened to be confusion.

My mind and body seemed to be going against each other when it came to him. My mind told me to take it slow; that my heart couldn't handle another torrent of events when it came to Edward. My body seemed to gravitate towards him on its own accord; I had little control over that part of myself even if I wanted to. And if I'm being honest, I didn't really fight the instinct to be close to him too hard the night before.

If anything was going to come of this, it was going to happen the right way. We needed to relearn things about each other. So many things had changed since high school; he may have kept tabs on my life, but I didn't get that same opportunity.

In the mean time, shopping was at the top of my list to get accomplished.

I threw my hair up into a high pony-tail and I threw on a pair of black yoga pants and a UW sweatshirt. My usual 'I don't care' attire. Alice would throw a fit if she could see me now.

I was halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rang.

_Great, just what I need. An interruption. _

I made my way over to the front door where a college-aged woman was standing with a large bouquet of flowers.

"Are you Bella?" she asked, tapping her foot.

"Uh, yes."

"Delivery for you." She shoved the arrangement into my hands and quickly made an exit. I closed the door while admiring the beautiful colors.

_Who are these from?_

They were my favorite arrangement which consisted of lilies, roses, daisy poms, button poms, waxflower and salal.

I made my way into the kitchen and set them on the center of the bar. I removed the card that was nestled inside and quickly recognized Edward's fancy handwriting. My hands instantly began to trembled while my eyes scanned the words:

_Dearest Bella, _

_I hope these will brighten your day and put a smile on that lovely face of yours. I will give you the space you need, but just know that I'm not going anywhere. It about killed me the first time; I won't be making the same mistake twice. _

_Her smile is like the sun,_

_Her eyes are like chocolate, _

_Her skin like a Greek goddess. _

_I will gladly walk in the shadow_

_Of her presence. _

_Yours,_

_Edward_

I swear my jaw went a little slack from the shock. Nobody had ever written something for me that was this romantic.

Without a second thought, I quickly pulled out my cell phone and found Edward's number, dialing it.

The other end rang three times before his voicemail picked up.

"_Hey, you've reached Edward's phone. Just lay it out there and I will get back to you…"_

"Umm, hey Edward. It's me, Bella. I was just calling to thank you for the beautiful flowers. You really know how to catch a girl by surprise. They will make a great addition to the kitchen. I am guessing you are working, which is why you didn't answer. Have a great day; you just made mine a whole lot better."

I was blushing by the end of it. I have no idea why, but it seemed to be a permanent reoccurrence these past few weeks.

I stood there admiring the flowers for another minute before making my way out the door. My car had the signs of the overnight frost and I had to scrape off the windows in order to be able to drive.

Finally pulling into the malls parking lot, it looked like a madhouse. I sighed and eventually found a spot in the furthest area from the front entrance. At least I will be getting my workout in.

-oo-

Hundreds of dollars, many bruises from overzealous shoppers, a massive headache from the night before and hours later I was finally making my way home. Heaven. Word to the wise; don't wait until December 21st to do _all_ of your shopping.

I did manage to get everything I wanted though. That was unheard of.

I got Alice a Prada handbag that she had been salivating over the last time I went shopping with her. Rosalie and Emmett, being the car enthusiasts that they were, would be getting a trip for two to a racing school in Spokane. They would get the chance to learn to drive stock cars, and I knew that it was right up their ally. Luckily there was a booth set up as I was walking by on my shopping adventure. For Jasper, I found an amazing set of journals written by a Confederate soldier in the Civil War. I got my dad more flannel (his wardrobe of choice); Renee was getting a crocheting kit because that was her newest obsession; Esme and Carlisle were receiving matching bathrobes with their initials on it.

Now, I am not forgetting one person. Edward was a hard one. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to get him anything, but I backtracked on that thought because above everything else, he is still my friend.

I found a book of musical compositions of pianists from the late 19th century, which included his favorite composure, Claude Debussy. I didn't know how often he played anymore but the Edward I knew would love it regardless. What made the book even better was that it was signed by Debussy himself. It cost a small fortune, but I couldn't resist.

I had just made it through the door when my cell phone started ringing. I pushed all of the bags off my arm and grabbed at the phone. I didn't even both to check the Caller ID.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Bella. It's just me." Edward cleared his throat.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Hi. Thanks for calling me back."

"Thanks for calling me in the first place."

"Well I definitely had to after that breathtaking note and flower arrangement arrived on my doorstep."

"I wasn't sure how far I could go without overstepping the boundaries. The flowers seemed to be the safest choice," he said quietly.

"They were perfect. Are you still at work?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Just left. Had to reattach a finger to a construction worker. A 'machinery gone awry' case."

"Yikes. Now I remember why I never wanted to become a doctor," I said with a sigh.

"Oh yes, the weak stomach. I'll keep the gore to a minimum, I promise." He laughed.

"Thanks."

He cleared his throat. "What did you do today?"

"I totally forgot that Christmas is this week and I hadn't done any shopping. Life has been a bit topsy-turvy lately."

"That's an understatement. Did you get everything you needed?"

"Yeah, with a few bruises to go with it."

"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding a bit frantic.

"Of course I am Edward! No worries. But listen, I have to get going. I have tons of gifts to wrap and I have two that I need to get ready to be shipped out."

"Oh okay, I guess I can let you go do that," he mocked frustration.

"Ha Ha," I said sarcastically.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if I call you tomorrow?" he asked almost shyly.

"I would love that." I found myself smiling into the phone.

"Great. Well have a goodnight Bella."

"You too Edward. Goodnight." I hung up the phone after that with a contented sigh.

_This slow thing can work._

My contentment was short lived when I remembered the huge stack of gifts that still needed wrapping.

_Oh what a joyous holiday treat!_

-oo-

The next morning I got up to Alice banging on my door. We had a tradition going of having Sunday breakfast together as often as possible. I threw on my bathrobe and went to answer the door.

It was only nine in the morning and it looked like Alice had been up for hours. She looked at my sad excuse of a Christmas tree and squealed at seeing all the presents.

"What did you get me?" she demanded.

"Wow. A nice 'Hi Bella. How are you this morning?' would have been nice. And I am not telling you what I got you," I huffed while walking into the kitchen to start coffee.

"I may not know what it is but I do foresee that I have wanted it for awhile and that I will be really pleased," she said, tapping her head with her index finger.

"Oh yes, your 'psychic' abilities. I forgot about that."

"Never bet against me." She somehow found some spare ornaments that hadn't gotten hung up and immediately began rearranging things on the tree.

"So what happened with you and my dear brother after you left the club?" she asked.

"Why do you ask me these things about your brother? Do you really want to know what he does with a woman?" I asked with a hint of disgust in my voice.

"Oh shush. You're my best friend, I have to make exceptions."

"We went back to his place, did some heavy kissing, I came to my senses and he drove me home. I am determined to take this slow and he has agreed to go at my speed."

"You came to your senses? How the hell did you manage to stop yourself from fully jumping my very handsome brother?" she said, twirling around to face me; the Christmas tree temporarily forgotten.

"I am not a hussy thank you. I realize it has been awhile since I have been with anyone, but I am not going to have regrettable sex."

"I know. I am glad you stopped; the last thing you both need is to complicate an already complicated situation."

"Exactly."

We ended up making cheese omelets and toast, chatting about what was planned for the holidays.

After all of us kids had moved out of Forks, Carlisle and Esme had followed two years later and bought a home on the outskirts of Seattle. They still kept the house in Forks for the summers, but spent most of their time in the big city. It had become a tradition for us all to go to their house for the holidays even though I had missed the last two because of visiting Renee in Florida. This would be the first time I was staying put and I couldn't be happier.

"Do you want me to take your gifts for everyone over to dad and moms today? I have to run over and help mom finish the decorating," Alice asked while putting her finished plate in the sink.

"That would be great. Saves me the hassle of trying to load it and unload it all on my own."

"Okay, so help me get it all in the car and I must be on my way!"

After a few minutes of getting all my gifts situated into her small car she gave me a quick hug and drove off.

-oo-

Later that evening my phone once again started ringing. I unattached myself to the lights of my tree to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hey you. Just me." Edward.

"Just who? This could be anyone. Are you sure I know you?" I asked teasingly.

"Very funny. You better know me. What other doctor/best friend are you waiting to hear from?"

"Oh you know I have them stashed all over Seattle for when I need them." I felt a giggle start to bubble up in my throat.

"Have you been drinking Bella?" he asked in mock seriousness.

"No, I learned my lesson on Friday night!" I realized what I said after the words slipped out. _Crap._

"I feel like shit. I can't believe that I actually took advantage of you like that. I wasn't thinking. Once again, I am very sorry." He let out a heavy sigh.

"Edward. I am only going to say this one more time. It was the both of us. I am an adult and I was being consenting. I just had one too many drinks and I know you did too."

"Even if I did agree with you on that, the fact that I drove under the influence was stupid."

"Yes it was. But everyone makes mistakes, even perfect people like you Edward Cullen," I teased again, trying to lighten the mood.

"I am far from perfect," he mumbled.

I didn't say anything in response.

"So what have you been up to today?" he said trying to change the subject.

"I had breakfast with Alice and then I have been fiddling with this stupid Christmas tree for the better part of the afternoon. Alice was halfway into decorating it when she left."

"Uh oh, Bella is let loose with breakable ornaments. Are you sure you can be trusted?" he said laughing.

"Smart ass."

"Sorry," he said still laughing.

Another hour passed of us catching up on our weekend, of what Christmas would be like having him back with us for the first time in years, what he did once he got his act together for school. We talked about everything, and it was refreshing to know that we still had that easiness of conversation.

After awhile the conversation started to fade out, signaling the end of the conversation.

I could help the yawn that escaped.

"You're tired and have work tomorrow. I shouldn't have kept you on for so long," he said.

"Don't be silly, it's not even that late. But yeah, I'm exhausted." I yawned again.

"Well then I will cut this conversation off right now. I enjoyed it; do you mind if we do it again? You know…until you feel up to see me again?" he said shyly again.

"That sounds perfect, though I will see in three days."

"Well if we talk at least once everyday leading up to it then we are golden," he said.

"Sounds good to me. I guess I will talk to you tomorrow?" I asked.

"You bet! Night Bells."

"Night."

I went to bed that night with dreams of Edward.

-oo-

**A/N: So this is Bella's way of taking things 'slowly'. This allows them to rebuild the mental before taking on the physical aspect. So please review! I want to know what you think. **

**Next up is a brief Christmas and other surprises!**


	13. Second Chances

**A/N: Here is another chapter; I tried to get it out a bit faster then the last one. We jump about two whole weeks in this chapter alone, just to forewarn you. So go ahead and enjoy so much needed fluffiness!**

**And thank you to everyone who reviewed, put me on alert and who put me as a favorite! I appreciate it all. **

**Also, I will eventually be putting up pictures of Carlisle and Esme's home in the next few days. It will be a good visual for later on in the story. So be on the lookout for that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own…this is just a figment of my imagination. **

-oo-

Ch. 13

EPOV

After I dropped Bella off at her house, I made my way back home. When I finally got up to my bedroom, I couldn't stop starting at the rumpled sheets where Bella had been laying.

_You're a royal asshole Edward. Good job._

I am sure any chance that I had with Bella was shot to hell. She had looked so dazzling in that outfit tonight; a siren right in front of me. She had always been beautiful to me, but grown up Bella was more then breathtaking.

She said she wanted space; that time would allow her to come to terms with my mistakes. I could do that; I would do anything for her.

I wanted to call her, but I didn't know if that would be too much. I knew I couldn't go see her until she gave me permission. So what could I do to tell her I was thinking about her?

Suddenly an idea came to me and I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face.

-oo-

I got up about 6:30 the next morning and made my way to the local florist, which opened by seven. I had to recall Bella's favorite flowers from high school and quickly made an arrangement out of them. I wrote a personalized note to her and asked for it to be delivered within the hour, leaving a heavy tip along with it.

I made my way to the hospital for my twelve hour shift shortly after. I was immediately slammed with a young girl and a broken wrist, a teenage boy that had taken off the tip of his finger and then a construction worker that required surgery for reattachment of a finger.

I felt my phone go off earlier that morning, but I had no time to answer it or check my voicemail. When I finally did at the end of my day, I was pleasantly surprised to find it was Bella.

When I finally made it home I ended up calling her back, at least to say that I got the message. We ended up talking about Christmas and how we were both going to finally be around for the first time in years.

I had already gotten Bella her gift, and I was a nervous wreck about it.

Over the next couple of days we got reacquainted over the phone. As the days got closer to Christmas, I found myself wanting more and more to just be able to see her in person. She seemed to finally be in a good place the night before we were to see each other at my parents' house.

At the end of our last conversation, which consisted of a lot of trips down memory lane, she got really quiet.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just thinking." I head her sigh and shift in whatever position she had been sitting in.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I want to talk to you about it tomorrow; it's something that should be said face to face," she mumbled.

"Sure, if it's something serious, then I agree. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Me either. After talking to you so much over the past week, it will be good to see you. I should be going though; it's already one in the morning. Santa won't ever come if we're still up!" she said with a giggle.

"Oh Bells. Still a kid at heart. I will see you tomorrow." I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face at the thought of being able to at least hug her.

"Alright, goodnight." With that we hung up and I slept heavily for the first time in five years.

-oo-

BPOV

Christmas morning was hectic to say the least. We had experienced one of those occasional Seattle snow falls and my car was completely covered. As I was scraping the windows I just kept telling myself that my next place would have a garage.

I didn't have to be at the Cullen's mansion until noon so I made myself a special breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon. I rarely ate that big of a meal so early but since it was a holiday, I made the exception.

I spent most of the morning calling my dad in Forks and my mom in Jacksonville. Charlie, who had been dating Sue Clearwater for the past three years, was spending the day down in La Push. I was relieved to hear that he at least had a second family of sorts to spend the day with; just because I avoided Forks like the plague didn't lessen my guilt of seeing my dad alone during the holidays. He told me to open my gift while I was on the phone with him. He ended up getting me a cookbook with different cultural cuisines and a can of mace. I laughed at the latter of the two which caused Charlie to grumble something alone the lines of "because of that Cullen boy."

I just shook my head after I hung up with him.

The conversation with my mother was a bit longer then with Charlie. She dominated the conversation and was gushing over the crochet kit that I had sent her. She promised that the first item she made from it would be for me. I silently cringed because I knew she probably wouldn't be any good at it. But being the good daughter that I am, I just told her that I couldn't wait. Apparently Phil had some holiday baseball game with his adult team that afternoon so Renee was busy attempting to bake something for the members of the team. I opened her gift which turned out to be a fruit cake (that was hard as rock) and a locket with both of our baby pictures in it. The conversation finally ended when a) I noticed that it was already 11:30 and it would take me at least a half hour to get to the mansion and b) a sudden fire alarm sounded on Renee's end, signaling that she had burnt her treats. I hung up laughing my ass off. My family may be spread out, but they definitely have the kookiness factor going on.

I awkwardly pulled on my coat and pulled away from the curb, finally on my way to another Cullen Christmas. It was my first one in over two years and I knew that Esme was ecstatic that Edward and I were finally joining the festivities this year. My heart immediately started beating a mile a minute once I made it through the elaborate gates and up the long and windy drive.

When I finally pulled up to the front door, I noticed that I was the last to arrive. Before I could even get out of my car, I had Alice giving me a vice grip version of a hug.

"Ali…can't…breathe," I choked out.

"Sorry! About time you got here, we just finished making a round of hot cocoa. I made you a mug. C'mon!" she bounced towards the house, dragging me in her wake.

One has to be prepared when walking into a house that belongs to Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Especially with Carlisle being a successful doctor and Esme's interest in architecture and interior design. The obvious combination of those two equals out to a huge home decorated to the hilt in opulence.

I was still taken aback even after almost twenty years of knowing this family. My parents were both middle America and I didn't grow up with all of this.

We wound our way through the many hallways until we got to the large gourmet kitchen. Let's just say that I was more then envious of Esme's kitchen, and she knew it. Alice handed me a lone mug on the counter and ushered me into an adjacent room. We came upon the well used family room where a large spruce towered in the twenty foot room. The fire was roaring in the huge stone fireplace and the room was decorated in tasteful gold and red Christmas decorations.

"Oh Bella! We are now complete with your arrival dear," Esme exclaimed as she came gliding over to be for a hug.

"It's good to see you too Esme," I sighed in content.

After the hug ended, I was quickly engulfed in a firm hug from Carlisle.

"How's the arm?" he asked, taking my jacket off and handing it to Emmett.

"Alright. Can't wait to get it off though," I said looking down at the offending object.

"Just another three weeks to go," he said cheerfully.

"Any chance it could be sooner?" He just smiled and patted my arm sympathetically.

After that exchange, I went through the pass around with my friends. I finally came to Edward, whom I just noticed for the first time since I arrived. He was standing next to the fireplace with his own mug in his hand.

He was busy checking me out from head to toe, and I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine. I instinctively licked my lips as I noticed he was wearing a white button-down shirt underneath a black sweater and paired with loose fitting jeans. I wanted nothing more then for him to turn around so that I could check out his ass.

When our eyes finally met, a lazy smile took over his features. I found myself moving towards his now extended arms and was immediately enveloped into the warmest hug I had ever received.

"It's so good to finally see you after our many conversations," he whispered into my hair.

I just "mmhmm'd" into the crook of his neck.

We broke apart and were immediately ushered into the elaborate dining room for lunch. We consumed a few bottles of Carlisle's best wine and then made our way back into the family room.

Alice pranced over to the tree and titled herself as the 'gift giver', which basically just entitled her to pass out all the gifts to their appropriate recipients. Alice almost broke my other arm when she landed on it in excitement over the bag I had gotten her. Rose and Em couldn't wait to get on the race track. Jasper, Esme and Carlisle gave me quiet hugs of thanks. Edward left my gift for last was in shock when he opened it.

"Is this a real autograph from Debussy?" he asked in awe.

I simply nodded.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. Thank you." He had been sitting on the floor and immediately sat up on his knees. He made his way over and settled between my legs for another hug.

After awhile he asked for me to join him in Carlisle's study, which I quickly agreed to.

Once inside he closed the door behind us and offered me on of the two leather chairs. I quickly sat and Edward sat on the coffee table directly in front of me.

"I wanted to give you your gift alone," he said holding a small package.

I just nodded and then he swiftly handed it to me. I slowly opened it and knew immediately that it was jewelry. I looked up at him curiously and he just encouraged me to open the long, thin box. Inside was a sterling silver charm bracelet with a heart dangling from the end?

"What do you think?" he asked nervously.

"Is this a declaration of something?" I inquired about the heart charm.

"I do have feelings for you. This heart represents how I feel and what I hope it turns into," he said taking the bracelet out of the box and gently placing it on my wrist.

"It's beautiful Edward, thank you." I gave him a tight hug.

"Did you want to talk now that we are alone?" he asked.

"Yeah…basically I did a lot of thinking since the club incident. After a lot of thinking I wanted to tell you that…I…forgive you. I still need to rebuild my trust in you, but I just miss you so much," I said when a tear escaped.

He just looked at me for a long moment and then tentatively took his thumb and gently wiped away the tear.

"I missed you too," he mumbled while resting his forehead against my own.

"So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"Why don't we start off with a date? Say New Years Eve? We can go to Alice and Jasper's party after we go to a nice dinner," he offered.

"That sounds like a good plan. You can be my first kiss of the New Year," I smiled.

"And if I have it my way, I hope I will be the only one kissing you for a long time."

-oo-

EPOV

New Year's Eve finally rolled around and I was nervous. Tonight was my first date with Bella. We were going to head out for an early dinner at a French restaurant down the street from Alice and Jasper's house before we make our way over to their party. Alice was known for her parties and this one would most likely prove to be one for the history books.

I changed into black dress pants, a crisp white button down shirt with the first three buttons undone and a matching black jacket.

On my way over to pick up Bella I stopped at a florist and got a single long-stemmed red rose. I finally arrived at Bella's at seven o'clock on the dot. We had reservations at seven-thirty and needed to be at Alice's by nine.

I quickly knocked on her door and only had to wait a minute before she answered it. My breath almost completely left me when she revealed herself. Her hair was in perfect curls and piled in a low bun at the nape of her neck. She wore a deep blue halter-top dress that stopped at her knees and she had paired it with a black cardigan and black shoes.

"You look exquisite my Bella," I said before kissing her on the cheek.

"You don't look so bad yourself Mr. Cullen," she said seductively.

We made our way back to my car and were finally on our way to dinner. The restaurant was very intimate and expensive. Bella looked a bit apprehensive about having me pay for dinner but I quickly reassured her.

"I have plenty of money Bella. I have waited all this time to spoil you, so please let me indulge."

Once she seemed to calm down we ordered our meals and toasted with a glass of wine.

"Here is to an exciting new year of success, happiness and hopefully love," I said, clinking my glass with hers. My toast immediately produced a blush from her lovely cheeks.

Dinner flowed comfortably as we caught up on our careers, Alice's party and what we wanted to accomplish in the next year.

After paying the bill we made our way over to Alice and Jasper's home where the music was loud, even from the street. To say the place was packed would be an understatement; hopefully they clued the neighbors in on the loud noise.

We said hi to our friends as I kept close to Bella's side. We made our way to the catered bar and each ordered a drink. After a few minutes of taking in the sights around us I leaned in and whispered, "Would you care to dance?"

"Yes," she whispered.

I took her glass and my own and set them on the bar behind us. Taking her hand in mine, I guided us through the throng of people to the makeshift dance floor. A slow song that I didn't recognize started and I slide my arms around Bella's lower back.

-oo-

BPOV

Edward guided me to the floor and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. We swayed like that in comfortable silence until the song ended. Another fast beat began and we quickly got into the rhythm that we had found back at Blue Lagoon over two weeks ago.

Before I knew it, midnight was upon us and the lights went low and Dick Clark's voice rang into the room once the volume of the music was turned down.

"10, 9, 8, 7…"

"Thanks for coming with me Bella," Edward whispered into my ear.

"6, 5, 4, 3…"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," I said into the crook of his neck.

"2, 1….Happy New Year!" everyone screamed.

"Happy New Year my Bella," Edward said as he leaned down and gently captured my lips with his. All around us couples mimicked our scene but once our lips finally met, everyone else disappeared.

In that moment, I knew without a doubt that I was finally home.

-oo-

**A/N: So there you go, Edward and Bella's first date. It took a whole month for them to finally get to that point, but it finally happened. **

**So tell me what you think!**


	14. At Last

**A/N: Okay…so this one is coming at you a little faster then the last few chapters! Yay!**

**A few points to get to before the actual good stuff.**

**First off, I took a look at my outline and I am sorry to say that we are nearing the end folks. There is one more chapter after this one and then the epilogue. That is how I am planning it unless something else changes. I am sad to see it end, but this story is almost completely told.**

**Second, now that we have the depressing news out of the way…time for some good news! I have several ideas twirling around in my head for new stories. I already wrote the chapter for a new one, and plan to elaborate on it. Also, I may try my hand at some non-canon pairings (probably a Jasper/Bella story). So if you are interested in reading anymore of my stuff, put me on Author Alert's. If you don't, then you won't know when I post something new! **

**Third, has anyone heard about the bet Peter Facinelli (Carlisle) has going with his friend on Twitter? Basically he has to get 500,000 followers by Friday in order to be able to keep the backing to his "Twilight" chair he had on the set. His twitter is ****https:/ twitter (dot****) com / peterfacinelli. Just get rid of the spaces and replace the "(dot)" with the actual period. **

**Another note on Twitter. I joined specifically for my stories. So if you want updates on progress for stories and anything of the sort, come follow me! My twitter is blueeyedlamb. Link in profile. **

**Comic Con is almost here! A little over 36 days until I get to see me some Rob in the flesh! If you're going to be in San Diego for it, PM me. I don't have anyone to obsessively talk about it with, hehe. **

**Oh and WARNING! If you are not allowed to see a rated R movie, then this chapter is too adult for you. I tried to do it justice, so please let me know what you think of it. **

**Pictures of the outfits are up in my blog!**

**Alright…end of long ass A/N. On to what you have been waiting for.**

**Disclaimer: I don't have dibs on any of this…just my imagination. **

**Musical Inspiration: "Not a Moment Too Soon" by Tim McGraw and "She Goes All the Way" by Rascal Flatts ft/ Jamie Foxx. **

-oo-

Ch. 14

BPOV

The past month has been a whirlwind of change in my life. If someone would have told me even three months ago that I would finally get a promotion at my job and be dating my childhood crush, I probably would have laughed.

Shortly after New Years, I walked into work after finally getting my cast removed just to be called into my boss, Aro's, office. He kindly asked me to take a sit directly across the desk from him. He was a man in his mid-fifties, a bit over exuberant for my taste. But he was a kind man nonetheless.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked taking the offered seat.

"Ah, yes Ms. Swan. I wanted to speak with you about your experience thus far with our company," he said with a kind smile.

"I really enjoy working here. Are you concerned with anything?" I asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

"Goodness no. I wanted to bring you in here to tell you that you are one of our best editors. For being so new out of college, you have pleased us greatly. I have an offer for you, if you may be interested?"

"Well thank you very much. I am glad that I am doing a good job. And please, I would very much like to hear the offer," I said, wringing my hands in my lap.

"I understand that you hope to become an author?" he started.

"I haven't written anything monumental, but yes, that is the idea."

"I would love it if you could get a sample of your writing to me and if it's something we can back, I would be happy to publish you," he said.

"Really?" I squeaked.

He nodded. "If your writing is anything like your job performance, then I have no doubt that you will write something brilliant. In the meantime, please expect a pay raise for your current position."

"Wow. I don't know what to say. This is more then I could have ever imagined for being here for such a short amount of time."

We talked for a few more minutes and I was released to go on with my day. I felt like I was in a daze until I finally got out of there for the day. There were so many people I wanted to call, but the first that came to mind was Edward.

I quickly got a hold of him and told him the news. He was ecstatic; my own personal cheerleader. I asked me to come over to his house that evening so that he would 'wine and dine' me. I quickly agreed and rushed home to find something to wear.

He made chicken risotto that tasted heavenly. We slow danced to soft tunes and toasted to my growing career, his future as a great doctor and to us. That was officially our second date, and he finally asked me to be his.

"Please say you'll date me exclusively Bella?" he asked while slowing down our swaying to the music.

I pulled back slightly to take in his features. His eyes were wide with excitement and a reserved hopefulness. His mouth was turned into a tentative smile as if he were afraid to jump the gun with a full blown one.

"Of course. I want nothing more then to finally be yours," I said.

I was met with his lips immediately finding mine. The wine and music quickly forgotten.

-oo-

Fast forward a month after that day, Edward and I were going out for our one month anniversary. Call us cheesy, but we fought through a lot to finally be where we were at.

I cheerfully clocked out of work at 4:00 pm on the dot and made my way home. I was told by my _boyfriend_ (I still squeal internally at that title) to dress in a gown because we were going out to a _very _fancy dinner and some dancing afterwards.

I had enlisted Alice's help to find something perfect for me. After four grueling hours of going through some of Seattle's finest boutiques, we came across the perfect dress. It was a vintage couture dress that was made out of black silk with a silver band under the bust of the dress and up into the straps. It hugged my curves in a classic way and I couldn't wait to have Edward see me in it.

Edward was due to pick me up at 7 and Alice was going to be at my house by 5:30 to help me with my hair and make-up.

The traffic was horrendous getting home, and it took me almost forty-five minutes. I had just enough time to rush into the shower and shave (again) and doing a thorough hair washing. I had managed to get my robe and a towel wrapped in my hair when there was a knock at the front door.

I couldn't help the skip in my step as I made my way downstairs. Alice stood with a huge bag hanging from her tiny arm.

"What is _that_?" I asked, pointing at the bag.

"All my essentials. Brushes, combs, sprays, gels, irons, blow-dryer, eye shadows, mascaras, eyeliners-" she began to list off in rapid firing motion.

"Okay!" I interrupted. "Thank you for that wonderful list. We are short on time; let's get a move on."

With that, we made our way up to my vanity and she pointed a finger at the chair. "Do not move a muscle Bell. I have to have absolutely concentration. Our goal is to bring my brother to his knees tonight."

For such a small person, she sure could pack a lot of evil into a small package.

For over an hour I sat there being poked and prodded, buffed and shined. She didn't miss any surface. The end product was definitely a jaw dropper though. I knew I wasn't bad looking, but I was definitely no Rosalie. When Alice finally revealed me to the mirror, I was floored. My hair was twisted up into an elaborate up-do, with small braids going in and out of the curls. I seemed to have a soft glow about me that Alice insisted was all natural. She had given me a light smokey eye to go with the dramatics of the dress and kept my lips a nice pale pink. She had to literally pull me away from the mirror to get my dress on.

My dress felt luxurious against my skin and the matching bra and panties set went along well with it. Alice couldn't stop raving about the overall look and kept trying to get me to wear certain pieces of jewelry. I had to refuse every piece because Edward had cryptically asked me to refrain from wearing any.

Alice left just before seven. I had no sooner ran back upstairs to grab my clutch and wrap when the doorbell rang again. I made my way back downstairs and breathlessly opened the door wide.

There stood my very handsome boyfriend in a black fitted tux, skinny black tie and a crisp white button down shirt.

He seemed a bit speechless, clutching on to a beautiful bouquet of lilacs. I gently grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house, taking the flowers from him. He kept opening and closing his mouth, unable to form words. I couldn't help the smile that came over my face.

"Y-you look absolutely beautiful Bell. God, are you even real?" he finally was able to gush out.

"I am pretty sure I am real. If I wasn't real, would I be able to do this?" I immediately pulled on his tie, drawing him to me. The movement caused him to move flush against me with a faint grunt coming from him. I gently placed both of my hands on either side of his face and brought his lips closer to mine. I barely grazed my lips with his, just a breath away. I continued to tease him for a moment before he took over, crashing us together. I accidentally let out a verbal groan at the taste of him. If Edward's taste was the only thing that I could have for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly content.

After a moment he pulled away. "I want to ravish you right now. Can we skip dinner?"

I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from my throat. "After all the hard work your sister did on me? I think not!"

"Bella, you take my breath away even without all of this," he said, motioning at my body with his hand.

I just answered him with a chaste kiss and pulled him towards the door. He immediately stopped me in my tracks and pulled me back to him.

"Wait, wait, wait. I have something for you," he mumbled, looking through his pockets.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know that. But I wanted to," he said giving me a small smile. After finally finding what he was looking for, he handed me a small box. I curiously looked at him and he just raised his eyebrows encouragingly.

With a small sigh, I opened the box. Inside were nestled beautiful diamond stud earrings. I couldn't help the squeal that came out.

"Oh Edward! They are beautiful! I can't accept this…" I trailed off.

"Yes you can. Let me spoil you." He took the box from my hand and immediately began to hand me the earrings, which I placed in their rightful position. Now I understood the no jewelry request.

"Now we are ready," he said, pulling me towards the door.

-oo-

We had reservations at Canlis with a beautiful view overlooking Lake Union. We were immediately seated by the hostess who, for once, did not ogle at Edward. Perhaps this would be a good night.

We were welcomed with beautiful tunes from a baby grand in the far corner of the restaurant. Edward ordered for us and we each enjoyed the house wine.

"This past month has been the happiest of my entire life Bell. Thank you for making me so happy," Edward said.

I ducked my head with my signature blush. "The same for me."

We talked some more about trivial things before our food arrived.

"This is an amazing place. Thank you for bringing me here," I said between bites of my steak.

"My pleasure love."

We ate the rest of our meal in comfortable silence, all the while Edward held on to my left hand across the table. It was a very sweet gesture.

After awhile he cleared his throat, which caused me to raise my head to look at him.

"Bells. I..I –" before he could get out the sentence, he was interrupted.

"Edward?" said a female voice from behind me.

Edward sat across from me, which faced the person. His eyes immediately went wide, causing me to quickly turn around.

Five years had changed Tanya Henderson. She still looked beautiful, but she looked more refined. Her blonde hair was cut into a short bob and her curves were more pronounced.

She gave Edward a flirtatious smile before finally settling her eyes on me. A severe grimace came over her face once she realized who I was.

"Bella Swan? _You're_ dating her _now_?" she scoffed.

Edward didn't say anything, only tightened his grip on my hand. I couldn't help the deep scowl that came over my features. _Why did she have to be here on this night?_

"Eddie, can I talk to you in private…for just a moment?" she asked sweetly.

"Now is not really a good time Tanya. As you can see I am enjoying dinner with Bella," he said stiffly.

"Please…" she whined.

I turned to look at him again. "Edward, if it gets her to go away, then humor her."

He just nodded before abruptly standing up and following her around a corner which I assumed led to the coat closet and restrooms.

After five minutes I began to drum my fingers in annoyance. She better _not_ have ruined my night!

I finally got impatient enough and abruptly stood. I made my way over to where I thought they would be. What I saw stopped me in my tracks.

There stood Edward with Tanya's arms thrown around him. I couldn't see his face because his face was away from my view.

I let out a little whimper that must have been loud enough for them to hear. Edward immediately pushed her away and looked at me in horror.

"Bella!" he began. But I didn't give him the satisfaction of continuing. I ran back to the table and grabbed my clutch and wrap. I made it through the door with my cell phone to my ear.

"Hello?" said a sleepy Alice.

"Ali…I need you to come pick me up. You're closest to Canlis, and I need to get away. Edward…Edward…" but I couldn't continue as fat tears began to run down my cheeks.

I had made it down the drive of the restaurant when she agreed.

Five minutes later, and half a mile from the restaurant, Alice's familiar car pulled up on the side of the road. I immediately hopped in and the look on my face must have kept Alice from questioning.

I practically jumped out of her car when we made it back to my house. I mumbled thanks before running inside, immediately dropping to the floor in hysterics.

-oo-

EPOV

_Shit. _

That was my first reaction when I saw Tanya standing directly behind Bella. The atmosphere grew tense until Bella just said to hear Tanya out so that we could move on with our evening.

I followed Tanya around the corner towards the restrooms when she abruptly stopped and turned around.

"Oh Eddie, I have missed you so much," she sighed.

"Can't say the same Tanya," I mumbled. "What do you want?"

"I want you back."

"Fat chance. Do you really think I would go back with you? Especially when I finally have Bella?" I exclaimed.

"I am more woman then she will ever be," Tanya huffed.

"I have to disagree. So are you still smoking up?"

"You sound so judgmental now Eddie. It was only a few years ago that you enjoyed it too. If you're still interested, I have some back at my hotel." She immediately began to move too close. I instinctively took a step back.

"No thanks."

"I am thinking of moving back to Washington. I broke up with Chris' father a few months ago. You should see my baby now, he sure could use a father like you."

"I don't think so. You can find another sugar daddy. Goodbye Tanya." I began to walk backwards towards my table when Tanya suddenly jumped at me. I automatically caught her waist to stop the collision into my body. She immediately wrapped her arms around me into a tight hug. At that exact moment I head a gasp come from behind me, which caused me to instantly extract myself from Tanya.

I turned around and looked on in horror at Bella's heartbroken face.

_No!_

"Bella!" She turned and began to run.

Tanya grabbed on to my arm and pushed all of her weight into me. "Just let her go Edward! She is finally out of the way. We can be together again."

"Like hell that would ever happen," I snarled.

I ran back to the table and noticed that Bella was gone and so was her belongings. It took forever to track down our waiter so that I could pay the bill. When I finally did that, I ran out to the valet to fetch my car. I had to stand there for five minutes before the car finally pulled up.

I drove like a bat out of hell down the road immediately trying Bella's house and cell phone. No answer.

_Dammit! _

I slammed my hands against the steering wheel.

My phone began to ring and it was Alice.

"Ali, please tell me you know where Bella is."

"Yes I do you big oaf. She called me in hysterics to come pick her up. I just left her place. You better have a good reason for her current state or so help me-"

I interrupted her, "Trust me Alice…it is not what she thinks it is!"

I hung up with her shortly after that and pulled onto Bella's street. I found a spot about two houses down from her place and immediately ran up to the door, banging on it as if my life depended on it.

And if I was being honest, my life _did _depend on that door opening. Bella had become my life.

"Bella! Open up. Please. It's not what it looked like," I yelled.

"Go away Edward! I am tired of this." She sounded so tired.

"She jumped at me right before you saw us. She must have seen you coming. It was a set-up. I was fighting with her the entire time. She just wanted to try and get back with me because her baby's daddy dumped her. I told her that you were my life now," I explained.

Before I could get another word out, the door immediately opened. Bella's hair was in a sexy disarray and her make-up was almost completely off from the tears. She looked like a fallen angel and I wanted nothing more then to help her find her way back to her proper place.

"What did you just say?" she mumbled.

"You are my life now. Your it for me. I was trying to tell you that I love you before I was interrupted. I love you Bells."

She just blinked at me for a full minute. "So nothing was really going on with you two?"

"No," I breathed.

She threw herself into my arms and began to cry softly.

"Shh. It's okay baby. I promise that she is gone for good," I said soothingly.

I carefully cradled her upper body in my arms and moved us into the house, shutting the door behind me. I sat down on the second step of the stairs and placed her in my lap.

It took her about five minutes to calm back down before she finally looked at me again.

"I believe you. I trust you. I love you too," she chanted.

I breathed out a sigh of relief before pulling her face to mine in a searing kiss.

I pulled away and began peppering her entire face with kisses. "I" _kiss_ "love" _kiss_ "you" _kiss_ "so" _kiss _"much."

"Me too baby," she said leaning her forehead against mine.

We sat there just basking in the glow of our admission when Bella suddenly spoke up, "Take me to bed Edward."

I immediately scooped her up into my arms and raced up the stairs to her bedroom. We hadn't gone much passed second base since we started dating, and this was the first sign that we might finally get to be together all the way.

-oo-

BPOV

The moment Edward said he loved me was the moment I completely threw out any doubt that I may have still be harboring about his past. When he uttered those three words his face could not have looked more angelic. The way his twenty watt smile lit up his face or the threat of tears on the edge of his eyelashes; he was just _so _passionate in that moment.

So what did I do?

Latched onto his face knowing that I never planned to let him go. I would fight for all of this, because he is my life as much as I am his.

Before I knew it, he had effortlessly carried me up to my room and laid me in the center of my bed. I immediately scooted to the edge of the bed and pulled him down by his tie to kiss me again.

I felt his hand nudge my legs apart which allowed him to step between them. A rush of heat ran from my chest all the way down to the tips of my toes. I wanted this man. _Badly. _

He had too many clothes on. I bunched up his jacket at his shoulders, and he took it off the rest of the way. The next item was the tie, which was quickly untied and thrown somewhere behind me. He bent forward a little and began grazing his lips and tongue from behind my ear all the way down to my collarbone. Once he reached the juncture of my throat, he began sucking on it. The grown erupted out of me suddenly, which only seemed to spear him on.

I felt his hands move my dress slowly up my legs until it was bunched around my waist. While he was doing this, I had managed to get his shirt unbuttoned. I couldn't help when my hands ran up the contours of his sculptured chest, causing him to groan into my ear.

"I want you so badly," he breathed.

"Then come get me," I said confidently. I immediately detached myself from his arms and got up on my knees, now perfectly eye level with him. He watched me with a curious expression his face. I couldn't help the devilish grin that spread across my face as I reached for the bottom hem of my dress and slowly began to shimmy it up my body.

When my panties finally came into view, I heard a sharp intake come from Edward.

"You're going to be the death of me Isabella," he said huskily.

I ignored him and finally brought the dress over my head, throwing it behind me. Alice was going to kill me, but at the moment I could care less.

I pushed myself up to my pillows and laid down, waiting for Edward to join me. I didn't have to wait long. I felt the bed shift from his weight and he immediately covered my body with his. He had shed his pants, socks and shoes, only leaving him in his boxers. I felt his erection immediately as I shifted so that he could settle between my spread legs. I arched my back, causing me to rub up against him.

He captured my lips with his own and gently bit my bottom lip. I groaned into his mouth from the sensation. I felt the tip of his tongue ask for entrance and I immediately opened for him. This started a battle of dominance with our tongues, which I eventually acquiesced and allowed him to explore my mouth. He tasted divine; it had never felt like this.

I felt his hands snake behind my back and unhook my bra. I arched my back slightly to allow him to remove it. Once the hooks were undone the strap immediately fell loosely onto my arms. My breasts were practically popping out of the top from my erratic breathing. Before he removed the garment completely he dipped his mouth down to the very edge of my bra and ghosted his beautiful lips along the edge of the line that met my skin. After making his way from left to right he finally removed the bra.

"You are so beautiful Bella," he whispered. I just nodded because I couldn't find my voice. He began to trail kisses down my throat until he came to the left breast. His tongue darted out licked around the areola, all the while avoiding it. Edward kept this going for a few more moments before the pressure was almost painful. His free hand was kneading my other breast. I tried to shift but he held me tight with the other hand.

"Tsk. Tsk. Isabella. I'm getting there," he said, mock scolding me.

"Please Edward," I begged.

"Your wish, my command." He sucked the breast he had been teasing into his mouth and I felt his tongue swirling over my nipple. I cried out in pleasure when I felt him lightly bite down. After another of this he quickly switched over to the other breast to repeat the movements.

I reached between our bodies and began to stroke his hardness through his boxers. I felt the vibrations of his moan on my chest which caused me to ground my core into his pelvis.

Before I recognized the movement, he pulled away and latched both hands onto the waistband of my panties, shimmying them down my legs.

I hooked my feet into his boxers and pushed them down to his knees. He immediately removed them the rest of the way and just like that, there were no more barriers between us.

"Have I mentioned how exquisite you look?" he questioned.

"Not in the last five minutes."

"I love you. So much," he whispered, settling his chest at the level of the apex of my legs.

I ran my hand along the length of his jaw, all the while keeping eye contact with him. "I love you too."

He ran his hands down my thighs and gently spread my legs apart. I a finger run up the sides of my heat and back down the other side before finally resting on my folds. I couldn't help the buck that came with the sensation. He pushed his thumb through my folds and immediately found my clit. His thumb took over the circular motion of rubbing my clit when I felt a finger at my slit.

"Please Edward," I whispered.

"What do you want Bella? You have to tell me," he said in a strained voice.

"I want your mouth on me," I said with a hint of embarrassment.

"My pleasure," was all he said before he dipped down. I felt his tongue take one long swipe up the length of my folds before he sucked my clit into his mouth.

"Oh my…" I breathed.

He pushed another finger into me and began pumping in and out in sync with his tongue. I felt the fluttering sensation begin and I began grinding into Edward's fingers. I knew I was close and Edward seemed to realize the same thing.

"Cum for me baby," he said, looking up at me. He continued to pump into me but I felt his other hand pinch my clit.

"Edward…I...I…" I stuttered right before I fell over the edge of oblivion. I felt his tongue lap up my juices before he withdrew his hands from me and sat back on his knees.

Once I was able to get my breathing back under control I opened my eyes. He was staring at me intently with the biggest grin on his face.

"Wow…" was all I could say.

"Exactly," he finished my thought.

"Come here," I mumbled.

He crawled back up the length of my body where I pulled him back into a kiss. My hand reached back between us and I grabbed on to his cock. He began rocking his hips into my hand as I stroked him. His breathing began to come heavier against my neck when he finally stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked in confusion.

-oo-

EPOV

"Nothing is wrong love. I just want to be inside you when I cum," I said, kissing her cheek.

This woman was definitely a siren that tasted _incredible_.

"Then I want you. In me. Now." She reached over to her bed side draw and took out what appeared to be a condom.

"More prepared then I am," I said when she handed me the package.

"I just wanted to be ready. I'm on the pill, but I am not ready for a kid yet."

I immediately rolled the condom on my member before settling back between her legs.

"Are you sure?" I asked one more time.

She simply nodded.

I leaned down to give her a chaste kiss. I grasped her hips and positioned myself at her entrance. Slowly, so as not to cause her any unnecessary pain, I began to push myself inside of her. I immediately felt that electricity that had always flowed between us intensify as I felt her like this for the first time.

"Baby, you're so tight," I groaned. Once I was fully sheathed in her, I stayed still until she gave me the okay.

She shifted slightly under me, which caused me to feel her muscles push around me. "Go ahead, I'm ready," she finally said.

I slowly pulled back out until just the tip was in her. She practically whimpered until I pushed a little harder back into her. We both groaned at the same time, fitting together perfectly.

We finally found a rhythm. She wrapped her legs around my waist, locking her feet right above my ass. We rocked together, building a beautiful friction between our bodies.

We barely said much besides the whisper of each other's name as the pressure began to build. I knew I was getting close and I wanted her to go over the edge with me.

"Bella…I-I'm almost there," I said through gritted teeth.

"Me too," she said breathlessly.

I reached my hand to where were joined and began rubbing her clit between my index and middle finger. She immediately began moving more erratically, the thrusts no longer in sync. I quickly followed, feeling myself about to lose it.

I felt her begin to tighten around me and I pinched her clit. She threw her head back, her eyes clenched closed. I felt my own orgasm follow immediately after hers until I was completely spent.

I collapsed on the side of her, discreetly removing the condom and throwing it in the trash near her bed. I gathered her into my arms and nuzzled my face into her neck.

"It's never been like that before, with anyone. That has no words," she finally said after we regained our breathing.

"Me neither. Never like this." I responded.

We were silent for a few more moments.

"You do know what this means right?" I asked softly, stroking her hair out of her eyes.

"What?" she said looking up through her eyelashes.

"That after all this time, we have been unsatisfyingly fucked" I chuckled.

"Very poetic." She playfully smacked my chest.

"But you still love me." I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck again.

"That I do," she simply said.

-oo-

**A/N: What did you think of the lemon? I really tried to make it as special as possible. Let me know what you thought of it. **

**Next up: Rose & Emmett's wedding!**


	15. Heaven

**A/N: Here is the last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy. Pictures on my profile. **

**Just wanted to say that we lost two legends within hours of each other. R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. **

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns this entire crazy universe of vampires. Bryan Adam's owns "Heaven".**

-oo-

Ch. 15

Spring had shown its beautiful head fairly quickly in Washington. Edward and I had been dating for about four months now. Things were going pretty well; we still had our hang ups (like Edward will _not_ let anyone touch his precious car, nobody of the male species is allowed to look my way or they will get the Edward stink-eye or I have to have the kitchen organized a certain way). Despite all of that, I firmly believe we compliment each other very well.

Since spring was here, that meant Rosalie and Emmett's wedding. This brings us to the present situation.

The Forks town sign loomed about half a mile up ahead of us. This was it, my return. Despite my life finally falling into a comfortable sequence, I still couldn't help but stiffen at the thought of returning to this town.

Edward must have noticed my sudden change in posture because he reached across the console and laced his finger with mine, giving my hand a tight squeeze. I looked over to him and managed a small smile.

"This is going to be great, love. No reason for you to attest being here," he said not taking his eyes off the road.

"It's not that I attest being here. I will be fine, I promise. It's just an automatic response." I glanced out towards the surrounding forest, remembering my childhood instantly.

As if he could read my mind, Edward started laughing. "Remember when we were twelve and Jasper wanted to play cowboys and Indians outside my house? You and I ended up ditching everyone to go swimming in the stream; I'll never forget the look on Esme's face when we came tracking through the house sopping wet."

I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped my throat. "We smelled like fish and somehow seaweed. Not really romantic." I grimaced at the thought.

"Oh like we were thinking that way then!" Edward scoffed.

"You forget that girls mature faster then boys _Eddie_," I smiled mischievously, knowing he hated that name.

"Don't make me pull this car over _Isabella_," he said returning the grin. I rolled my eyes at his competitive nature.

"I would take you up on that offer but we should have been at my dad's house twenty minutes ago. I can help you out with your problem though," I said looking down to the growing bulge in his pants. I reached my free hand across the console and lightly grazed the inseam of his jeans. This caused him to buck slightly with a hiss.

"I cannot believe I am refusing you. But I need to get us there safely. Definitely something I will keep in mind for future situations though." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"You're such a pervert."

"Only when it comes to you my love," he said resting our joined hands on his knee.

Fifteen minutes later we pulled onto the familiar street of my childhood. All of the houses looked the same; two-story, front porch, one car garage with the backyards running parallel with the forest.

We came to a stop in front of my dad's house, which looked the same as it did five years prior; maybe just a new paint job. Charlie doesn't like change very much; this was always evident in the house that he had shared with my mom before she left.

"I can't believe we are being forced to stay in separate houses," I moaned, banging my head against the headrest.

"It's only for one night and then tomorrow we get to stay together at my parents' place. I don't blame your dad for wanting to hog you for one night."

"I will just miss you." I pouted.

"As will I miss you. Now what did Alice say when we last parted ways? 'Turn that frown upside down!'" he said in a mock cheery voice. I had to stifle a snort because he impersonated his sister perfectly.

"Bella! Edward! You're finally here!" I heard Charlie yell from the porch. I sighed and pulled the door open, sluggishly planting my feet onto the sidewalk.

"Hey dad," I muttered as he engulfed me in a huge hug. I must have been gone for far too long because we never really had that touchy-feely relationship full of emotion. This was a side of Charlie I hadn't seen since I graduated from high school.

"Bells, it's so nice to finally have you back home," he kissed my forehead.

I heard Edward clear his voice from behind me. "Hey Charlie."

Things between them had improved slightly, but they were still reserved around each other.

"Hello Edward. Did you have a nice drive?" my dad asked conversationally.

"Yeah. No problems whatsoever."

"Good."

And that was the extent of their exchange. Oh well, better then Charlie threatening him with a gun.

"I'm going to head over to my parent's house to get settled. I will be back here at seven to pick you up Bell. Rose will want us there a little early before the rehearsal. See you then?" Edward asked.

I nodded and leaned up to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Love you," I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too," he said with a wink before nodding at Charlie and making his way back to the car.

"C'mon Bells. Let's get you settled." Charlie tugged on my arm and I reluctantly followed him into the house.

"Are you ever going to remodel dad?" I asked, taking in the all too familiar surroundings.

"Eventually. I am just not good with that stuff, you know that," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Ask Esme for help. You know that is her forte."

"Yeah, good idea. I will talk to her tomorrow at the wedding about it."

"She'll love to help. I'm just going to put my bag upstairs…" I started walking up the staircase and turned to the immediate right which housed my childhood bedroom.

The walls were still a pale blue and my full sized bed was still pushed up against one wall, directly next to the window. Memories rushed back to me like a freight train of all the events that happened in this room.

I threw my one bag onto the rocking chair in the corner and silently thanked Alice for being guardian of all the wedding stuff. I definitely didn't feel like hauling my dress around.

I still had about three hours to spare before Edward came back to get me, so I spent the time visiting with Charlie. I told him about the progress of my book, my relationship with Edward and different ideas that he should go with for decorating the house.

At six I went up to my room and put on the dress that Alice specifically chose for me for tonight. I had just finished attempting to put my hair up into a semi-nice ponytail and putting some make-up on when there was a knock on the door.

I was halfway down the steps when Charlie opened the door to Edward. Even though it had been less then three hours since I saw him, I couldn't help the sigh that escaped at seeing him again.

_That's it. I am officially gone and lost my mind. I am a bumbling idiot when it comes to this man._

They both turned when they heard me walking down the steps. Edward's face lit up into a smile when he saw me. "You look beautiful Bells. Rose better watch herself."

I rolled my eyes. "Get real Edward. Have you seen Rosalie?"

"Yes, and she holds no interest for me. I only see you," he said, coming over to give me a kiss.

"Aren't you the romantic," I teased.

We bid my dad a goodbye before making our way over to the Cullen's house. The Forks home was huge – and that is no exaggeration. Growing up, we girls were always fond of the beautiful gazebo that was built in the massive backyard. This was the location that Rose and Emmett decided to exchange vows. A large white tent was being erected off to the side to house the reception.

Jasper was Emmett's best man and Edward was the groomsman. Alice was the maid of honor and I was a bridesmaid. Having just the four of us up there with the couple seemed the most appropriate; especially since we had become our own little family over the years.

The rehearsal went off without any problems and then we were treated to a catered dinner provided by Carlisle and Esme. The only others present were the parents of the bride and groom.

I found myself back at Charlie's around eleven that night, trying to prolong my goodbye to Edward.

"Do we really have to sleep separately?" I whined.

"It's just for one night Bella," Edward said.

"I know. But ever since we got together and have been spending pretty much most nights together, I can't seem to sleep without you next to me."

"You'll be fine. Just daydream of all the great dancing I am going to make you do tomorrow!" That earned a playful smack against his shoulder; he knew I hated to dance.

"We'll see." We kissed goodnight and I made my way upstairs to my bedroom.

By 12:30 I couldn't seem to relax. The bed was too stiff, the covers weren't mine, and the sound of crickets was bugging me. I probably wouldn't mind the room if Edward was here.

By two I was desperate for some way to sleep. I knew that Alice would be at my house by eight a.m. and would be a total bitch if I had dark circles under my eyes.

Right about the same time that I thought this, I heard a slight tap on my window. I jerked myself into a sitting position and opened up my curtains. I saw movement on the other side and almost screamed until I recognized Edward. I immediately threw open the old frame and watched as he jumped into my room.

"What are you doing here?" I asked tiredly.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered quietly.

"Me either. I told you it was impossible."

"Yeah, yeah. I feel like I am seventeen again and sneaking into your room." He laughed while looking around the small space.

"The last time you were in here was when I confessed everything to you," I reminisced.

"Not my proudest moment." I could see in the dark the slight grimace on his face.

"It's in the past. Time to move on." I laid back down and motioned for him to follow suit. Once he relaxed I cuddled into his side. We were quiet for a few moments, both finally at peace for the first time that night.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, my eyes growing heavy.

"I may have been an idiot five years ago. But I have learned from my mistakes. I love you. It may be five years late, but I just wanted you to know."

I leaned into his face and placed small kisses along his jaw until I placed a chaste kiss full on his lips. "I love you too baby. Better late then never."

We both fell asleep with smiles on our faces.

-oo-

I woke up to Alice banging around my room, demanding that I awake. I felt around and noticed that the sheets were cold. Edward must have made his escape before his sister arrived.

I hopped in the shower and Alice did my hair at my house. We drove out to the Cullen estate to help Rosalie get ready.

The wedding was set to start around one in the afternoon. The spring day was surprisingly warm and sunny; which worked out perfectly since it was an outdoor ceremony.

Rose's wedding dress was a mermaid silk taffeta gown with hand-cut flowers that created a one shouldered strap. It fit her frame perfectly. She opted out of wearing the veil and instead had us put in white flowers strategically in her hair, which she wore down and in large curls.

Alice and I had on matching dresses set in a royal blue, knee length, and strapless with a gathered bodice. The color fit the best with both of our skintones, mine being ivory and her a darker tan.

Right at one we were gathered to the side of the aisle, obscured by the shrubbery. Rose had been calm all morning, not at all nervous about saying her vows.

The flower girl, who was Rosalie's cousin, made her way down the aisle first once the music began. I followed after a minute, locking eyes with Edward. He looked delectable in the black tux and matching blue tie that went with my dress. I gave him a wink and nodded my head at Emmett once I made it to the front of the crowd.

Alice followed quickly and then the music suddenly changed. Everyone stood and Rosalie appeared on her father's arm. I looked over to Emmett who looked like he was struck dumb at her beauty. It had been amped up ten-fold for the day.

She made it down the aisle and they joined hands. We listened as the minister went through the traditional passages that Emmett and Rosalie agreed on and they exchanged their vows.

Before I realized it was possible, two of my best friends were pronounced man and wife before they leaned in for their first kiss as a married couple.

The reception started soon after just a few hundred yards from the gazebo. The guest count was around eighty and a small dance floor was placed to one side while the tables were on the other. About halfway through the night, Edward suddenly stood up as the strings for "Heaven" by Bryan Adams began to play over the speakers.

He held his hand out to me. "May I have this dance baby?"

"Yes, but only because I love you," I sighed, placing my hand in his.

He pulled me into the center of the floor, placing his hands low on my hips and drawing me in closer to him. I let out a contented sigh as I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder.

_Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years  
There was only you and me  
We were young and wild and free_

"I can't believe that Rose and Em are married," I said, breaking the silence.

"We've all been together so long, it's just hard to wrap my head around," Edward said, nodding his head.

_Now nothin' can take you away from me  
We've been down that road before  
But that's over now_

"What are you most thankful for right now?" I asked.

"You. For the fact that we took two separate paths but still ended up back on the same one eventually. I will never take you for granted," he said, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine.

"I feel the exact same way," I whispered in his ear.

_And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven_

We looked over to Rosalie and Emmett who were wrapped up tightly in one another's embrace. I couldn't help the sigh that escaped from lips as I wished that was me.

As if he could read my mind, Edward leaned down to my ear and whispered, "That is going to be us someday."

I leaned back slightly to take in his face. His eyes held a fierce determination and his smile was full of joy. I simply nodded before leaning back into him, inhaling his scent.

_Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me  
Oh there's lots that I could say  
But just hold me now  
Cause our love will light the way_


	16. Epilogue

**A/N: This is it. The final chapter. I am kind of choked up about it. Definitely was a baby of mine. Pics in blog.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie is the queen of her realm…I am just a subject that admires from a distance. **

-oo-

Epilogue

"Come on Bella! We should have left thirty minutes ago!" I heard Edward yell from the floor below me.

"Just a sec. Have you seen my white bikini?" I called out.

"It's already in your bag, which Alice packed for you. Everything you need is in it, so let's go!"

"Fine, fine. I am coming. Can't you just tell me where we are going?" I asked, walking down the steps.

"Nope. It's a surprise. And don't try that face on me; it won't crack me this time." He grabbed a hold of my chin to bring me in for a kiss. "Let's go."

With that, he grabbed my hand with one of his while he held our two luggage bags in the other hand. I heard the beep of his Volvo go off in the garage as he opened the side door. He opened my door before making his way to the trunk to deposit the bags. Before I knew it, we were zooming out of the garage and making our way down the winding road back into the city.

Edward and I had been dating officially for almost a year and a half. I had made the move into his house…_our_ house about five months ago. We decided on his house because I had only been renting my townhouse; so most of my furniture went into storage until I would need it. I knew that Edward and I were probably in it for the long haul and I was ready to say yes to him at any moment if he decided to drop to one knee. We had discussed it at length but he had said that he wanted to get himself established within the hospital before taking on another chapter like marriage.

We never got to celebrate our one year back in January due to our work schedules, so now we were taking it…five months later. Also, Edward's 26th birthday just so happened to fall within the time that we would be on vacation.

Edward, who had been relatively silent for most of the car ride, took the exit for SeaTac. I gave him a confused look but otherwise remained silent. We parked in the short-term parking, which meant that we wouldn't be gone longer then a week. I had only scheduled time off for five days.

He again took my hand as we made our way into the terminal. We got in line and checked our bags.

"Have a safe flight to San Francisco sir," said the attendant behind the desk.

He silently nodded with a smile before practically dragging me to security.

"We're going to California?" I asked, growing even more confused at this smile.

"Yes, but San Francisco is not our final destination," he said cryptically, still looking ahead.

I gave a frustrated huff as we came to the front of the line. We made it through check point in record time, though I swear the female security personnel tried to give Edward a strip search on purpose. Too bad for them, he didn't have anything on him once they took the wand to him.

"That wasn't very professional of them," I said darkly, looking back at the still gaping female officer.

He gave a bark of laughter, "Are we jealous my love?"

"No."

"Sure your not."

I didn't say anything.

We had first class seats on the flight. It took about two hours to get there, which I used to sleep. I was nudged awake by Edward kissing my eyelids. This, of course, elicited a happy sigh from me.

After collecting our baggage we went down to a rental car place within the terminal. Twenty minutes later we were cruising out of San Francisco on I-80, heading east. I kept shooting suspicious glances at Edward who kept a serene smile plastered on his face.

Almost an hour later we came upon the sign for Napa Valley. He began slowing down to make an exit off of the highway, causing me to turn in my seat and flat out stare at him.

"Are we staying in Napa for five days?" I asked, excitement seeping out of my voice.

He turned slightly in my direction and nodded, gauging my reaction.

I couldn't help the squeal that erupted. "How romantic! You are _so_ smooth Mr. Cullen. Oh and if this is about getting laid, you are so getting lucky tonight!"

"Well that wasn't the main reason I decided to do this, but definitely a positive and now at the forefront of my mind. Thank you for that," he said with a strained voice, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Sorry baby. So where are we staying?" I asked looking around at all the grape vines.

"Hang in there. You will find out in a minute." He took a left off the road that we were on and I waited with batted breath as we came over a slope. I gasped at what I saw.

Apparently we would be staying at Milliken Inn & Spa. The area was thickly covered with foliage, creating an almost fantasy-like atmosphere. The sun was already starting to set so that the tree lined drive was lit with white lights. We came upon a building that looking more or less like a large lake house. I couldn't get over how intimate it looked.

"Oh Edward, it's breathtaking." I threw my arms around his neck once he parked in front of the entrance. I peppered his face with kisses, which caused him to burst into laughter.

"I knew you would like it. An understated beauty, just like you." He kissed me softly before getting out of the car and running around to my side, helping me out.

We checked in and were shown to our room. I couldn't help as my jaw hit the floor. The room was apparently the largest suite they had. I noticed a set of double doors that led out to a private deck, overlooking a river.

"That's the Napa River," Edward whispered in my ear, grazing his soft lips against the lobe. I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine.

"This is all too much. This room must cost a fortune," I said, turning and placing my hands on his chest.

"No worries babe. Carlisle just gave me the good news that I got the entirety of my trust fund a few days early. So I can afford quite a bit…and what's mine is yours…" he said, beginning to trail openmouthed kisses down my jaw.

"Early? But you didn't have to spend it on me," I said, trying to keep my voice stern but failing.

"Yes I did. You are the only one I want to spend any of it on. So shush and kiss me."

He didn't have to tell me twice. He slowly pushed me backwards until the back of my knees came in contact with the plush bed. He lowered me until I was flat against the bed and he immediately laid flush against me.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I asked, lovingly stroking his cheek.

"Not in the last few hours. Show me," he whispered. And I did just that.

-oo-

When we arrived at the Inn, it was a Wednesday. We would be leaving the following Monday and I could not wait to dive in to whatever Edward had planned.

Thursday Edward woke me up to strawberries and pancakes for breakfast. We ended up on the deck in the two lounge chairs. The sun felt wonderful on my skin, especially being from such a cloudy place.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked.

"I have arranged for a couples massage down by the river. We have to be there in an hour."

"I should hop in the shower first. Care to join me?" I asked.

Let's just say that I didn't have to ask him twice.

The massage was heavenly. Edward never once let go of my hand throughout the whole experience.

We ended up at the little lounge that was on the property. The night was called the Magic Hour. I dressed in a form fitting black cocktail dress. Edward wore black dress pants with a white button down and a thin black tie, foregoing the coat.

We sampled local wines, picking out our favorites and ordered several bottles of each. We ended the night with a light dinner and dancing by the baby grand.

Friday quickly rolled around. Edward told me to wear jeans and a comfortable t-shirt. He came out of the bathroom in my favorite pair of distressed jeans. They fit his ass perfectly. I noticed the black motorcycle boots he adorned and the plain white t-shirt. He handed me a feminine pair of the same type of boots before silently leading me out of the room. We stopped at the front desk where two matching black leather jackets were produced and handed to Edward. He helped me slip into mine before putting on his own.

"What's going on…?" I trailed off as we headed outside. Immediately my eyes fell on the black beauty of a monster sitting in the drive-way. A man was standing beside it with two helmets while Edward pulled me along.

"Bella. We are going to take a bike ride through the valley today. The Inn packed us a picnic lunch that we can have later on," Edward said.

"You know how to drive a motorcycle?" I asked in disbelief.

"There are still a few mysteries you don't know about me. I learned to ride from a roommate in college. We would take out bikes on the weekends to escape the campus."

I took the helmet from the man and pulled it over my head. Edward swung a leg over the Harley first and then guided me on behind him. I noticed that Edward gave the man a nod before starting the bike. The vibrations were instant and caused me to abruptly grip my arms tightly around Edward torso. He gave my hand a comforting pat before pushing forward. Before I knew it, we were flying down downtown Napa and out into the open roads.

We rode for about two hours before Edward pulled over into V. Sattui Winery, which housed a beautiful picnic spot under old, shaded trees. Edward set out a large blanket under the trees and sat down, emptying the contents of basket.

"Come here." He motioned for me to sit between his legs. I did just that and leaned back against his chest. We ended up eating sliced watermelon, finger sandwiches and pasta salad. The Inn even included a bottle of wine that we enjoyed the night before.

We drove back to the Inn about an hour later where Edward told me to get ready and wear the dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I curiously entered the bathroom and immediately laid eyes on a deep blue gown that reached to the floor. The dress was silk and looked really expensive. I usually would have protested at being spoiled like this, but I knew how much it meant to Edward. After all, tomorrow was his birthday. I would behave.

About an hour later, I exited the bathroom fully clothed with my hair in a low up-do. I kept my make-up light; going with a slight smoky eye to enhance the effects of the dress.

I found Edward sitting with his back to me on the bed. I took in the sight of him; he wore a full on black tux and he seemed to have a nervous edge about him. I frowned, wondering why he was acting like that.

"Hey you," I broke the silence.

He turned towards me slowly and I noticed the side of his mouth raise into a crooked-smile.

He got up from his spot and walked towards me. "Well look at you. I don't think 'beautiful' would even begin to describe you right now."

He twirled me around to get the full effect of the dress. "The dress is beautiful Edward."

"Thank you. Alice helped me pick it out. We had it sent to the hotel before we arrived."

"Where are we going tonight?" I asked

"To La Toque for dinner," he answered.

We were met at the front by a black limousine. I wordlessly got into the back in total shock. We drove for about ten minutes before coming upon the entrance to the restaurant. Edward helped me out and we walked hand-in-hand into the building. I immediately noticed that the ambiance was very intimate and romantic. We were seated fairly quickly and I discovered that we would be dining on the menu of Chef Ken Frank.

We ordered our respective entrees and the wine tasting that went along with each portion of the meal. I noticed that Edward seemed fidgety throughout dinner. We had just ordered tiramisu for dessert when I decided to speak up.

"Honey, is there something wrong?" I asked, gently covering his hand with my own on top of the table.

"No, why would you say that?" he said, looking around frantically.

"You just seem nervous about something."

He gave a heavy sigh and muttered 'here goes nothing'. "Bella, I have to ask you something."

"Okay." I immediately began to get nervous.

"I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. We've been through many ups and down's since we were kids. I couldn't ask for anyone better to be by my side throughout life. You're the reason I get up in the morning and the reason why I am content enough to close my eyes at night. Without really realizing it, you have become my whole world."

He stood slightly and gave a slight nod to someone behind me. I was too transfixed on his face to bother turning around.

Slowly I watched him lower himself onto one knee by my side. He reached into his pants pocket and produced a small black box. The size of a ring box. My right hand immediately went to my mouth when I realized what this meant. I noticed a flash from somewhere behind us as he opened the box. I still couldn't look away.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you please marry me? Make me the happiest man alive."

I looked from his glistening eyes back down to the beautiful ring held in his hand.

"Yes! Edward! A thousand times yes!" I squealed, jumping into his arms. Another flash went off and then another as he twirled me around. I brought his face to mine and began placing searing kisses on his lips.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," I said between kisses.

"As I love you fiancée," he said, placing me back down on the ground. I came back to the present and noticed that we were surrounded by applause. I looked around, giving our audience a sheepish grin before burying my face in the crook of Edward's neck. He pulled away from me and took my left hand in his, placing the beautiful ring on my ring finger. I took a minute to admire it. I noticed the box said Cartier and the entire band of the ring was set in tiny diamonds with a larger one as its centerpiece.

"I can't believe we're engaged!" I exclaimed after a minute.

"I am glad I finally gathered the courage to ask you. It's been about four months in the making," he admitted. We sat back down and resumed our meal.

"Were you afraid of my answer?"

"Yes. I knew that you felt about me as I do you. But I wasn't sure how ready you were."

"Well I haven't been surer of anything," I said, leaning across the table for another kiss.

-oo-

Saturday was Edward's birthday. We spent a good portion of the morning calling our loved ones. Later on, I secretly arranged for an air balloon ride. Sunday Edward surprised me with being photographed for our engagement pictures by a local photographer, Nanci Kerby. We spent the day posing on the Inn's property and were pleased with what we took. She promised that she would send the copies up to Seattle as soon as she got them developed.

We spent our last night in the room, taking in the room service and the wonderful tub.

"Thank you for making me so happy," he whispered from behind me.

I turned slightly in the water and smiled. "Thank you for finding me again. I love you."

"I love you too."

-oo-

_Six months later (December)_

"Bella! Quit fidgeting. You will ruin your hair," Rosalie snapped from behind me.

"Don't snap at her Rose. She just nervous," Alice said, smoothing a curl behind my ear.

"Are you sure the make-up isn't too heavy?" I asked.

"You look beautiful dear," Esme said from across the room.

Today was my wedding day. We were currently in a side room at St. James Cathedral in downtown Seattle. I had just put on my wedding dress and was nervously playing with the veil. Rose and Alice were in full on bridesmaid outfits, each wearing floor-length red gowns. Alice was my maid-of-honor and Rose was my only other bridesmaid.

"I can't believe my baby is getting married today," Rene said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Believe it mom. Believe it." I turned back to the mirror and made sure my dress sat right on my body.

A knock came from behind all of us. Alice ran to open the door, making sure it wasn't my husband-to-be, who had already tried to get in to see me twice today.

"Oh thank god it's only you Charlie. Is it time?" Alice asked, the door still blocking my view of my father.

"Yeah. I am just here to collect the bride."

Alice stepped away from the doorframe, allowing me to see my father. He looked handsome, but uncomfortable in a black tux and silver tie.

"You look handsome dad," I said with a teary smile.

"Look at you Bells. My only child, off to start her own family. Just look at you," he said, gathering me into a hug. "Are you ready to go?"

"I've been ready to marry him for over a decade dad." He simply nodded and pulled my arm through his own. We followed all of the women out of the room and down to where we would make our entrance.

The music began to play, signaling Rosalie to being her walk down the long aisle. I decided to forego any flower girls. About halfway down the aisle it was Alice's turn. She turned around and gave me a light kiss on the cheek and winked before turning to walk through the doors.

I still couldn't see Edward from the standpoint, but I could see the church in all of its winter glory. We had ended up inviting almost 200 guests, and the cathedral was the perfect size. The aisles were lit by candlelight and the overhead lighting was low and intimate. We decided to get married just at twilight, because the lighting of the sunset looked lovely through the windows.

The music suddenly changed to that of Edward's lullaby for me. We had decided to go with that as the music I would walk to. We waited about ten seconds into the song before we made our entrance. Everyone was standing up, facing towards my father and me. A faint blush immediately colored my cheeks. I looked from face to face until I finally found the deep green eyes I had been searching for. They were attached to the most handsome man my eyes had ever beheld. He looked like an angel with all of the candles flickering around us. I returned his smile with my own, trying to get my dad to walk faster.

After what felt like eternity, we made it to the alter. Edward stepped down from the circular platform and walked over to us. After my dad gave his appropriate line, he placed my hand in Edward's.

"Take good care of her son," Charlie said, looking at Edward.

"With my life, sir." Edward guided me up to the platform, giving my hand a small squeeze in reassurance.

I smiled at my girls standing behind me, handing over my bouquet to Alice. I turned back to Edward and grasped my other free hand in his. I looked past him and winked at Jasper, Edward's best man and Emmett, the lone groomsman. My eyes went back to Edward's whose were swimming with many different emotions.

The reverend cleared his throat to begin the ceremony. "With great joy, we come together to join this man, Edward, and this woman, Isabella, in matrimony. We here today know the promises you make to another are promises of commitment and devotion. Your commitments to each other are not only for a lifetime partner. They are commitments of a companion and friend as well, a friend with whom you will share your hopes, dreams, ambitions, successes, and yes, sometimes your disappointments and sorrows that are all a part of life.

"This sharing is not at the expense of each partner's individuality; rather, the uniqueness of each marriage partner is enhanced by the strength of the common bond. Marriage is a celebration of love. Matrimony symbolizes the ultimate intimacy between a man and a woman. A marriage that lasts is one that always has a little more to grow."

I digested the words that were being said to us, but I could not take my eyes away from Edward. In that moment, a rush of memories hit me. Of almost everything we have been through together. The best part was that it was only the good memories. For the first time, the bad stayed away. The revelation caused a fresh round of tears to fall down my cheeks.

Edward, who still had had the breathtaking smile, gently wiped the tears away with his thumb. We finally came to the part of the ceremony where we exchanged vows.

The reverend faced Edward and asked him, "Edward do you promise to encourage Isabella, to stand by her side. To share laughter during the good times and stand strong through the bad. To dry her tears when necessary and offer a kind word when needed. To share all you have to offer. Do you come with love and without reservation to join together with this woman in marriage?"

Edward's eyes locked with mine as he spoke the binding words, "I do."

And then it was my turn as the reverend began, "Isabella do you promise to encourage Edward, to stand by his side. To share laughter during the good times and stand strong through the bad. To offer a kind word when needed. To share all you have to offer. Do you come with love and without reservation to join together with this man in marriage?"

"I do," I said with reverence, giving Edward's hands a tight squeeze.

"The rings please," the reverend motioned towards Jasper, who quickly produced two platinum bands that Edward and I had spent time in designing. "These rings symbolize your union. An unbroken circle of love to be worn all the days so long as you both shall love. May the spirit of love bless these rings and may they be a true symbol of the love of the one who gives it, and the one who wears it."

He motioned for Edward to take my wedding band in his left hand, "Edward, please slide this ring on to Isabella's finger and repeat after me."

Edward followed the instructions and held my left hand in his right, placing my wedding band on my tip of my ring finger. He looked into my eyes as he repeated the vows, "You are my life, my love, my best friend, may this be a reminder of my love and commitment we have made here today; with this ring I wed thee."

He slid the ring on to connect with my engagement ring and after that was finished, he thumbed the rings gently before giving me a lazy smile of contentment.

The reverend then motioned for me to follow in the movements as Edward had. I held his wedding band in my left hand. "Isabella, please slide this ring on to Edward's finger and repeat after me."

I placed the ring at the tip of his ring finger, mine shaking slightly. I locked eyes with him and began, "You are my life, my love, my best friend, may this be a reminder of my love and commitment we have made here today; with this ring I wed thee."

The reverend began the close of the ceremony as we gripped each other's hands tightly, "From now on, your thoughts shall be for each other rather than for your individual selves. Your joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. May the radiance of this one light be a testimony of your unity. May these candles burn brightly as symbols of your commitment to each other, and as a tribute to your parents' lasting and loving marriages.

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

"In as much as Edward and Isabella have consented together in marriage before their family and friends, have pledged their love, and declared their unity by each giving and receiving a ring and are now joined in mutual esteem and devotion; by the powers vested in my by the State of Washington, I pronounce that they are husband and wife together forever. You make now kiss your bride."

Just before Edward leaned in to seal the deal, he mouthed "Forever."

I mouthed, "Forever" right back.

He leaned the rest of the way in and gently captured my lips between his own. He placed his hand at the small of my back and the other around my neck before I felt my self dip backwards. After a moment, I let out a soft giggle before he brought me back into the upright position. We intertwined our hands and faced our audience.

The reverend gave one final sentence, "It is my honor to present to you Dr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."

The applause erupted as we made our way down the short stairs and down the aisle. We were stopped by our parents and several old friends or distant relatives. Most of the attendee's were friends of Carlisle and Esme. We didn't mind having so many people; we just wanted to show how much we loved each other.

We stayed back at the church to take wedding pictures. We actually hired Nikki from our Napa trip to come up and do the photography for the wedding. Our best friends joined in and our parents laughed at the six of us while taking pictures.

Finally we finished and the wedding party hopped into a stretch Excursion limousine. Edward never once let my hand go. We popped a bottle of champagne open and went around for different toasts.

Our reception was being held at the Great Hall at Union Station. It was a large room, with a curved out ceiling and sky lights. We walked in when we were announced by the deejay. The room was large enough to comfortably accommodate all of the guests. There was a long table at the front of the many circular tables, which would be where we sat. Off to our right was an oversized screen playing pictures of our life together so far. I knew that Jasper and Edward had worked on a slide show that they would eventually show after dinner was finished. We took our seats and began the catered meal.

After about thirty minutes, the background music slowly disappeared and Jasper stood, clinking his knife against his champagne glass. The noise from the guests immediately quieted.

"Time for the speeches! Now for those of you who do not know me, I am Jasper Whitlock…best friend to these two crazy kids. I have known both Edward and Bella since the sandbox when we were five. It's an honor for me to be here... to celebrate this very special day for them. Dale Carnegie once said: 'Don't ask a man what is important to him. Watch how he spends his time.' I've watched Edward spend his time, and I can see what's important to him. It's Bella. She has made Edward a happy man... a man with a new appreciation for love and life. Like I've already said, I have known Edward and Bella for most of my life and I can honestly say that they are perfect for one another. They were both fantastic people when they met. Now as a team, they will embark on a new adventure together as man and wife. Edward and Bella, I toast you, and wish you both peace, health and happiness." He raised his glass to us and with a wink took a sip, the rest of us following in succession.

I felt Edward lean in and wrap an arm around my waist, nuzzling his face in my neck.

Next was Alice's turn. She practically leapt from her chair, taking the table with her. We all laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Okay…so I am Alice Cullen. Sister of our darling Edward and best friend and now sister to Bella. I met Bella when Edward and I were about five. I remember was a perfect gentlemen by throwing sand in her hair. They have had their good and bad times, but thankfully the good far outweigh the bad. I cannot express to you both how happy I am that you found each other. In my eyes, you are one another's saving grace. With everything you have been through, I am so happy to bear witness to the happy beginnings that you both deserve. And yes, I said 'happy beginnings' not 'happy endings'. Your lives have just begun, so hold on tight for the wild ride. Bella, you look so stunning tonight. Thank you for being my sister in all intent and purposes throughout our lives. I couldn't ask for a better person to go through everything with. You have finally come full circle and I am glad that my brother is able to close that gap to make it complete. Edward, my dashing twin, take good care of her. You are the very best part of one another. I want to end my little speech with a passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' I love you both, congratulations."

Alice then raised her glass and we all followed once again.

Dancing began after that. Edward took me into his arms for our first dance as a married couple. We chose the song "At Last" but it was the Beyonce version.

We spent the rest of the evening dancing together, with our friends and family. I threw my bouquet, which landed perfectly in Alice's grasp. I shot Jasper a mischievous look and he could only shake his head in laughter. They were the last couple after all to tie the knot. Edward made a show of getting the garter from under my dress. I knew my face must have looked like a tomato by the time he reemerged from under my dress. He then shot the flimsy piece of material right at Jasper's face, insuring that he got the message to get moving.

It was finally time to be whisked away for our honeymoon. Alice and Rosalie helped me change into black dress pants, black leather boots and gorgeous white v-neck sweater. We kept my hair the way it was, minus the veil of course.

We decided that we were going to Venice for our trip, spending two weeks traveling the Italian countryside.

We waved from the roof of our limo as we pulled away from the Union Station and our friends and family. The chill began to get to me so we quickly made our way back into the warmth of the vehicle and slide the sunroof shut. Edward enveloped me into a snug hug and kissed my hair.

"Did you enjoy yourself Mrs. Cullen?" he whispered.

"I did Mr. Cullen."

"Mmm, I love the fact that you are mine in every sense of the word now. You have made me so happy baby," he said, kissing me full on the lips.

We made it to SeaTac in record time and enjoyed our first-class trip all the way to Italy, thanks of the Cullen's.

-oo-

_One year later_

I was in the kitchen preparing dinner for our one year when I felt my husband's arms wrap around my torso, leaning me further into the kitchen counter.

"Happy anniversary baby," he whispered.

"You too," I said, leaning back into his chest.

"I wanted to talk to you another something," he said, pulling back and turning me to face him.

"Okay, what's up?"

"I wanted to see how you feel about starting a family," he said quietly.

I looked at him in shock for a moment. We had discussed having kids, but never really when it would be the right time. Edward had finally immersed himself as a full-fledged doctor at the hospital and I was in the process of getting my book published. It was set to be released in another four months.

"You want to do it now?" I asked.

He gave me a cautious look before nodding. "I want to have kids with you. See your both change with carrying our child…my child. Do you want that too?"

"Of course I want that. So…um…you want me to go off the pill?" I asked, taking his hand in my own.

"Yeah, as soon as possible." I was a bit taken aback at how eager he was, but I could definitely understand.

"Alright. I will stop taking them immediately. I just need to make an appointment to see my doctor then."

He looked so happy in that moment and it pleased me to no end that I had put that smile on his face.

We ate the special dinner together and made love that night, knowing it would be the last time that any barriers would truly be between us.

-oo-

The next day I had stopped with my daily dose of the pill. I immediately called my doctor's office and go an appointment for the following Monday.

Edward and I held off on the sex until after the appointment, wanting to make sure that everything would run smoothly when we actually tried for a baby.

He took the day off to accompany to my appointment. He held my hand the entire time as we talked excitedly with my doctor about starting a family. I recited when I last took the pill and when my last cycle had been. She calculated that I should wait until my first cycle off the pill before trying without any protection; this would help with estimating the due date. She cautioned us that it could take up to a year for a couple like us to conceive, but to not get discouraged.

Luckily for me the next week was my first cycle; after the few days had ended I told Edward that we could begin to try.

Even though we had pretty much stopped using condoms long before we were engaged, the thought that nothing, not even the pill, was between us made it even more passionate. Each round was never the same and it only helped to show that my husband had a healthy libido.

We went on like this for about a month when I noticed that I missed my period. I got excited and informed Edward of the news. We rushed out and picked up a few pregnancy tests. We got home and I took the test. We waited for the allotted time before the timer went off.

Rushing into the bathroom, I swiped up the little sticks and looked at them all – all negative.

Edward looked over my shoulder and I couldn't help the disappointment that washed over me.

"It's okay baby. We will get there," he said, kissing my cheek.

The next day my period started. Five months went by and nothing.

I started getting nervous, even going to the doctor for several check ups to make sure everything was healthy with me. When all of the test results came back with normal readings, I just hoped that it was what the doctor had first warned us about.

Two months later, still no baby growing in my stomach, I became depressed. And then I got some form of the flu. I became irritable, I couldn't hold down my food and different smells just made me queasy.

One day, about two weeks into me feeling like shit, Edward came into our bedroom. "Baby, I think you should take this."

I looked up at him through heavy lidded us. I noticed that he held out a long narrow box. A pregnancy test.

"You think I am pregnant?" I asked incredulously.

"I think it's a possibility. You show signs of it…I don't think it's a common flu or cold."

I nodded and got out of bed, reaching for the test. Ten minutes later the timer went off. I had grown so tired of taking the tests, that I sent Edward in for me.

"Honey…come here!" he called from the bathroom.

I curiously made my way through the door, sliding in under his arm.

He looked down at me, kissing me forehead. "You better get ready….momma."

He held up the test that had a positive sign.

"What! I-I-I'm pregnant?" I stumbled in disbelief.

"We're going to have a baby!" he laughed, lifting me up and twirling me.

I launched my lips at his and we proceeded to make-out in the bathroom for another ten minutes.

We went to see my doctor a few days later where she confirmed that I was two months pregnant.

Finally. After all of the depression and heartache, our lives we finally beginning with this new life.

We called everyone to a large dinner at Carlisle and Esme's house, my parents included. Edward would constantly keep his hand in contact with me, usually touching my hand or my stomach. We told everyone the news and excitement ensued. Alice exclaimed that she better be the godmother…for which I told her yes.

By the time I was five months along we were able to get in to see my OBGYN. We wanted to find out the gender.

Edward held my hand tightly through entire process.

After a few intense moments of anticipation my doctor looked at us with a smile, "Congratulations mom and dad, you are having a girl."

I felt tears begin to well up as I looked at Edward. I knew that he had secretly wanted a girl…just someone else that he could feel protective of.

-oo-

_Four months later (January)_

"Oh shit," I muttered, hunching over as a sudden pain shot through my lower stomach.

"Bella? Bella what's wrong?" I heard Alice say in a frantic voice.

"I-I think my water broke…" I gasped.

We had been at Alice and Jasper's house going through their wedding gifts, filling out thank you cards. I had gotten up to grab a bottle of water from the fridge when I felt the pains begin.

"Oh my gosh. Okay…just stay calm. Rose, get a hold of Edward and let him know that we are on our way to the hospital. Bella, let's get you to the car," Alice said, taking control.

I could only nod as another pain shot through my stomach. She guided me slowly out to the garage, pulling me into her Range Rover. Rose followed shortly after with my bag that Edward insisted that I take everywhere with me and a phone to her ear.

"Okay, I talked to the main desk of the hospital. Edward is in surgery, but they are working on getting a hold of him," she said, hanging up the phone.

"They better find him," I growled.

"They will sweetie. Now just practice your breathing," Alice said calmly.

We swiftly pulled out of the garage and headed towards Harborview Medical Center, the place of Edward's work and where we decided to have the baby.

Ten minutes later I was being ushered into a wheelchair. Rose took over steering me through the halls and up to the appropriate floor. Edward and I had already made the arrangements for a suite that had a guest bed off to the side so that Edward could stay with me at all times, as well as my own bathroom.

I finally got settled into my gown and laying in the bed when the contractions began coming a bit faster. Alice held my hand and coached me through them.

"Where is your brother!" I said through gritted teeth.

"I am not sure Bells. But he should be here soon." I noticed that Alice exchanged a frantic look with Rose. I ignored them, too engrossed in the current situation.

Twenty minutes later, Carlisle ran in with his lab coat on.

"Hey Bella. I know Edward isn't here yet, but he should be within ten minutes. I will personally make sure of it," he said, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "How are you holding up?"

"I am in a lot of pain. Dr. Nielson said I had to wait a little longer for the epidural," I said grudgingly.

"Soon enough. I need to go meet Esme. We called your parents. Rene is leaving Phoenix soon and will be here tonight; Charlie should be here within the hour," he said.

I nodded and he quickly made an exit. Ten minutes later…still no Edward.

"Dammit…if he misses this," I almost yelled.

"He won't Bella. He won't…" Rose said just as the door opened. I looked up with anticipation but was quickly disappointed when Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Emmett filed in. They all said their hello's and either took seats within the room or left to grab coffee from the cafeteria.

Finally, after another five minutes, the door opened again. Edward ran in with a fresh set of scrubs on. He looked at me frantically, running to my side.

"Baby, I am so sorry. They caught me just as I was coming out of the operation room. I changed into these because I looked gross," he said, gripping my hand and giving me a quick kiss.

"It's fine. Thank god you are finally here. I thought you'd miss it…" I whimpered as a new round of pain came through.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything. Now just breathe like we were coached to…" he replied, taking over Alice's coaching.

Four hours later, I finally had my epidural and the doctor gave the okay to begin pushing.

Edward was with me the entire way. I blamed him for putting me in this predicament, I cursed him for the pain, I apologized for being a bitch and most of all, I told him how much I loved him. He just kept agreeing with me through it all.

Over an hour later we finally heard it…our baby's crying. And boy did she have a set of lungs!

"Congratulations Edward and Bella…you are now parents. Have you decided on a name?" Dr. Nielsen said, holding up a tiny bundle swathed in a pink blanket. She handed our baby to Edward, who immediately latched eyes with me.

"We decided on Arianna Grace Cullen," he said quietly. He stared at his baby girl for a minute before handing her over to me.

She squirmed during the transition of arms, but immediately settled into my arms as if she knew immediately who I was. I noticed a little tuft of bronze hair peeking from atop her head and I couldn't wait to see the color of her eyes when they changed to their permanent color.

We spend the remainder of the evening with our families, Rene coming in last. Finally around nine they all got kicked out. Arianna was placed back in my arms and Edward came to lay next to me. We silently watched our baby girl for a bit before Edward leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips.

"I love you Isabella. I know I have said that you have made me so happy…but it can't be truer then in this moment. Thank you for our daughter," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you _so_ much Edward. Sometimes it's so overwhelming," I said, looking down at our daughter again. "She looks just like you. Our daughter in breathtaking…just like her daddy."

"You never did see yourself clearly, love. She has your beauty as well. And I have a feeling she will have your selflessness too," he said, also watching our daughter.

That moment felt so perfect, I wish we could have just frozen it just like that forever. But at the same time, I couldn't wait to move forward to watch our daughter grow and thrive…and to hopefully have siblings some day.

Edward and my story is far from conventional. But then again, we were never a conventional couple. Through all the good times and the bad, we came out on the same path to join our lives together. Now we had a product of our love in our arms. I would gladly go through everything again just to get to this point. I never really let go of Edward in his absence. He fought to come back to me, to hold on to me forever. And I returned his sentiments fully.

Just like Alice said at our wedding…we were finally getting our happy beginning.

-oo-

**A/N: That's it folks. I hope you enjoyed this ride with me. I am sad to see it end, but it was time. There will be no sequel, even though I have been asked several times. They finally got there HEA, and I want to let them live it. **

**I just wanted to take the time to thank each and every one of my readers. You have all motivated me to write this piece. I honestly got frustrated about halfway through…but your reviews kept spurring me on. Thank you for giving it a chance, especially since it was my first multi-chapter story.**

**I proved to myself that I could do something like this and that is my biggest accomplishment. **

**If you enjoyed my reading, please put me on Author Alert! I have some ideas in the making…and I really like some of them. If you ever want to chat, PM me or add me to Twitter. Link is in the profile. **

**Thank you once again for all of the support! *bows and takes my exit***


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